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Kids Are Quoting Shakespeare Archive

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Kids Are Quoting Shakespeare Archive



During Thanksgiving, my friend and I needed elbow room because there were too many people at the table. I ate like a green-eyed monster. Everyone was laughing because I had all kinds of food on my face. I felt like a laughing stock and ran away. I was thinking in my head that I had eaten without rhyme or reason.

—Malik, Brent Elementary School

 
 
There once was a blinking idiot named Bob. Bob was in quite a pickle. He had entered a cooking contest, but everything he made smelled to high heaven and tasted worse. His problem was that he put in too much of a good thing. For example, he always used a pound each of sugar, salt, and pepper.

 

Then, one day, Bob decided to climb a large mountain to find the cooking Guru, who was also Bob's long-lost brother.

 

"Help me, Guru," Bob said.

 

"No," answered the Guru.

 

"You won't even help your own flesh and blood?" Asked Bob.

 

"Is that you, Bob? Long time no see. Sure, I'll help you. Make this recipe and you will win any contest," Guru said, giving Bob a piece of paper, "Do not put a pound of anything in this. Goodbye." Suddenly, he jumped off the mountain and skydived down.

 

At the contest, Bob cooked the recipe correctly, and was about to win the first prize ribbon when Bob's food mysteriously vanished into thin air and he was disqualified.

—Joe, John Eaton Elementary School

 
 

Have you ever seen a ghost?

I can tell you that...

They're, as dead as a doornail

and pale.

They vanish into thin air,

And scare people without a care.

I've seen one, but I couldn't run.

I couldn't budge an inch.

I stood there like a blinking idiot.

That was no fun.

When I reached my bed,

I couldn't sleep, not one wink.

When the sun finally rose,

I fled to the sink,

Washed my face,

And had a drink.

I've seen better days,

Just fewer than you think.

—Jade, John Eaton Elementary School

 
 
My daddy was in a pickle. His arms were full of grocery bags and he couldn't open the door. He asked me to open the door for him. I tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge an inch. He put his bags down and we pulled the door together. Then we realized we had to push the door to open it. So, we pushed it together with so much force that we fell right through. My dad said we must be too much of a good thing. Then we laughed ourselves into stitches.

 

We walked outside to pick up the bags and noticed that they had vanished into thin air! This appeared to be a case of foul play. As we went into our house, we saw my mom. She said to come to the kitchen for some brownies. My dad exclaimed, "It smells to heaven!"

 

When we walked into the kitchen, the bags we thought had vanished were on the floor. My mom had come around and brought the bags in herself while my dad and I were laughing so hard about the door. I certainly have seen better days.

—Victoria, Two Rivers Public Charter School 

 
 

Detective Rooster

 

One dark and stormy night…o.k., let’s say one rainy day.  One rainy day, I was about to close up my office when, as luck would have it, a poodle came into my office.  She was beautiful.  Her hair was as white as driven snow.  I, however, looked as though I had slept not one wink.  I asked why someone like her would come to me on such a rainy day.  The answer:  “There’s been some foul play,” she said.  Someone had stolen her 20 carat diamond ring!  I didn’t know if I should take the job.  I didn’t want to be a laughing stock if I failed.  But I took it anyway.

        The first part in solving a crime is to find suspects.  I did just that. “Do you suspect anyone?” I asked. 

       “Yes, I suspect my neighbor, Josephine Rat.  She is a green-eyed monster because her ring couldn’t hold a candle to mine,” she said.

“I will go over to her house to investigate,” I said.
         When I got to Josephine Rat’s house the wind was sharper than a serpent’s tooth.  Her maid answered the door.  I was about to ask to see Josephine when she burst through the door without rhyme or reason, jumped into her car, and sped away, vanishing into thin air. 

  “For goodness sake!” I exclaimed.  “She’ll be dead as a doornail driving like that!” I said as I jumped into my car and chased after her.    After an hour long car chase, she gave up and pulled over and confessed that she’d stolen the ring.  I took her back in the squad car and locked her in jail.
          Of course, I got paid enough money for doughnuts and coffee for a year.  You can never have too much of a good thing.

—Annika, Horace Mann Elementary School

 
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