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Henry IV, Part 2 - Act 2, scene 1
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Navigate this workHenry IV, Part 2 - Act 2, scene 1
Act 2, scene 1
Sir John is arrested for the debt he owes Mistress Quickly. He persuades her to drop the charges and to lend him an additional ten pounds.Enter Hostess ⌜Quickly⌝ of the tavern ⟨with two Officers,
Fang and Snare,⟩ ⌜who lags behind.⌝
HOSTESS 0650 Master Fang, have you entered the action?
FANG 0651 It is entered.
HOSTESS 0652 Where’s your yeoman? Is ’t a lusty yeoman?
0653 Will he stand to ’t?
FANG, ⌜calling⌝ 0654 5Sirrah! Where’s Snare?
HOSTESS 0655 O Lord, ay, good Master Snare.
SNARE, ⌜catching up to them⌝ 0656 Here, here.
FANG 0657 Snare, we must arrest Sir John Falstaff.
HOSTESS 0658 Yea, good Master Snare, I have entered him
0659 10 and all.
SNARE 0660 It may chance cost some of us our lives, for he
0661 will stab.
HOSTESS 0662 Alas the day, take heed of him. He stabbed me
0663 in mine own house, ⟨and that⟩ most beastly, in good
0664 15 faith. He cares not what mischief he does. If his
0665 weapon be out, he will foin like any devil. He will
0666 spare neither man, woman, nor child.
FANG 0667 If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.
HOSTESS 0668 No, nor I neither. I’ll be at your elbow.
FANG 0669 20An I but fist him once, an he come but within my
HOSTESS 0671 I am undone by his going. I warrant you, he’s
p. 550672 an infinitive thing upon my score. Good Master
0673 Fang, hold him sure. Good Master Snare, let him
0674 25 not ’scape. He comes ⟨continuantly⟩ to Pie Corner,
0675 saving your manhoods, to buy a saddle, and he is
0676 indited to dinner to the Lubber’s Head in Lumbert
0677 Street, to Master Smooth’s the silkman. I pray you,
0678 since my exion is entered, and my case so openly
0679 30 known to the world, let him be brought in to his
0680 answer. A hundred mark is a long one for a poor
0681 lone woman to bear, and I have borne, and borne,
0682 and borne, and have been fubbed off, and fubbed
0683 off, and fubbed off from this day to that day, that it is
0684 35 a shame to be thought on. There is no honesty in
0685 such dealing, unless a woman should be made an
0686 ass and a beast to bear every knave’s wrong. Yonder
0687 he comes, and that arrant malmsey-nose knave,
0688 Bardolph, with him. Do your offices, do your offices,
0689 40 Master Fang and Master Snare, do me, do me,
0690 do me your offices.
Enter Sir John ⟨Falstaff⟩ and Bardolph, and the ⌜Page.⌝
FALSTAFF 0691 How now, whose mare’s dead? What’s the
FANG 0693 ⟨Sir John,⟩ I arrest you at the suit of Mistress
0694 45 Quickly.
FALSTAFF 0695 Away, varlets!—Draw, Bardolph. Cut me off
0696 the villain’s head. Throw the quean in the
0697 channel.⌜They draw.⌝
HOSTESS 0698 Throw me in the channel? I’ll throw thee in
0699 50 the channel. Wilt thou, wilt thou, thou bastardly
0700 rogue?—Murder, murder!—Ah, thou honeysuckle
0701 villain, wilt thou kill God’s officers and the King’s?
0702 Ah, thou honeyseed rogue, thou art a honeyseed, a
0703 man-queller, and a woman-queller.
FALSTAFF 0704 55Keep them off, Bardolph.
p. 57OFFICERS 0705 A rescue, a rescue!
HOSTESS 0706 Good people, bring a rescue or two.—Thou
0707 wot, wot thou? Thou wot, wot ta? Do, do, thou
0708 rogue. Do, thou hempseed.
PAGE 0709 60Away, you scullion, you rampallian, you fustilarian!
0710 I’ll tickle your catastrophe.
Enter Lord Chief Justice and his Men.
0711 What is the matter? Keep the peace here, ho!
HOSTESS 0712 Good my lord, be good to me. I beseech you
0713 stand to me.
0714 65 How now, Sir John? What, are you brawling here?
0715 Doth this become your place, your time, and
0717 You should have been well on your way to York.—
0718 Stand from him, fellow. Wherefore hang’st thou
0719 70 upon him?
HOSTESS 0720 O my most worshipful lord, an ’t please your
0721 Grace, I am a poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is
0722 arrested at my suit.
CHIEF JUSTICE 0723 For what sum?
HOSTESS 0724 75It is more than for some, my lord; it is for all I
0725 have. He hath eaten me out of house and home. He
0726 hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his.
0727 ⌜To Falstaff.⌝ But I will have some of it out again, or I
0728 will ride thee o’ nights like the mare.
FALSTAFF 0729 80I think I am as like to ride the mare if I have
0730 any vantage of ground to get up.
CHIEF JUSTICE 0731 How comes this, Sir John? ⟨Fie,⟩ what
0732 man of good temper would endure this tempest of
0733 exclamation? Are you not ashamed to enforce a
0734 85 poor widow to so rough a course to come by her
p. 59FALSTAFF 0736 What is the gross sum that I owe thee?
HOSTESS 0737 Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself
0738 and the money too. Thou didst swear to me upon a
0739 90 parcel-gilt goblet, sitting in my Dolphin chamber at
0740 the round table by a sea-coal fire, upon Wednesday
0741 in Wheeson week, when the Prince broke thy head
0742 for liking his father to a singing-man of Windsor,
0743 thou didst swear to me then, as I was washing thy
0744 95 wound, to marry me and make me my lady thy wife.
0745 Canst thou deny it? Did not Goodwife Keech, the
0746 butcher’s wife, come in then and call me Gossip
0747 Quickly, coming in to borrow a mess of vinegar,
0748 telling us she had a good dish of prawns, whereby
0749 100 thou didst desire to eat some, whereby I told thee
0750 they were ill for a green wound? And didst thou not,
0751 when she was gone downstairs, desire me to be no
0752 more so familiarity with such poor people, saying
0753 that ere long they should call me madam? And didst
0754 105 thou not kiss me and bid me fetch thee thirty
0755 shillings? I put thee now to thy book-oath. Deny it if
0756 thou canst.
FALSTAFF 0757 My lord, this is a poor mad soul, and she says
0758 up and down the town that her eldest son is like
0759 110 you. She hath been in good case, and the truth is,
0760 poverty hath distracted her. But, for these foolish
0761 officers, I beseech you I may have redress against
CHIEF JUSTICE 0763 Sir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted
0764 115 with your manner of wrenching the true cause the
0765 false way. It is not a confident brow, nor the throng
0766 of words that come with such more than impudent
0767 sauciness from you, can thrust me from a level
0768 consideration. You have, as it appears to me, practiced
0769 120 upon the easy-yielding spirit of this woman,
0770 [and made her serve your uses both in purse and in
p. 61HOSTESS 0772 Yea, in truth, my lord.
CHIEF JUSTICE 0773 Pray thee, peace.—Pay her the debt you
0774 125 owe her, and unpay the villainy you have done with
0775 her. The one you may do with sterling money, and
0776 the other with current repentance.
FALSTAFF 0777 My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without
0778 reply. You call honorable boldness “impudent
0779 130 sauciness.” If a man will make curtsy and say
0780 nothing, he is virtuous. No, my lord, my humble
0781 duty remembered, I will not be your suitor. I say to
0782 you, I do desire deliverance from these officers,
0783 being upon hasty employment in the King’s affairs.
CHIEF JUSTICE 0784 135You speak as having power to do wrong;
0785 but answer in th’ effect of your reputation, and
0786 satisfy the poor woman.
FALSTAFF 0787 Come hither, hostess.
⌜He speaks aside to the Hostess.⌝
Enter a Messenger, ⟨Master Gower.⟩
CHIEF JUSTICE 0788 Now, Master Gower, what news?
0789 140 The King, my lord, and Harry Prince of Wales
0790 Are near at hand. The rest the paper tells.
⌜He gives the Chief Justice a paper to read.⌝
FALSTAFF, ⌜to the Hostess⌝ 0791 As I am a gentleman!
HOSTESS 0792 Faith, you said so before.
FALSTAFF 0793 As I am a gentleman. Come. No more words
0794 145 of it.
HOSTESS 0795 By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be
0796 fain to pawn both my plate and the tapestry of my
0797 dining chambers.
FALSTAFF 0798 Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking. And for
0799 150 thy walls, a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the
0800 Prodigal or the German hunting in waterwork is
0801 worth a thousand of these bed-hangers and these
p. 630802 fly-bitten ⟨tapestries.⟩ Let it be ten pound, if thou
0803 canst. Come, an ’twere not for thy humors, there’s
0804 155 not a better wench in England. Go wash thy face,
0805 and draw the action. Come, thou must not be in this
0806 humor with me. Dost not know me? Come, come. I
0807 know thou wast set on to this.
HOSTESS 0808 Pray thee, Sir John, let it be but twenty
0809 160 nobles. I’ faith, I am loath to pawn my plate, so God
0810 save me, la.
FALSTAFF 0811 Let it alone. I’ll make other shift. You’ll be a
0812 fool still.
HOSTESS 0813 Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my
0814 165 gown. I hope you’ll come to supper. You’ll pay
0815 me all together?
FALSTAFF 0816 Will I live? ⌜Aside to Bardolph.⌝ Go with her,
0817 with her. Hook on, hook on.
HOSTESS 0818 Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at
0819 170 supper?
FALSTAFF 0820 No more words. Let’s have her.
Hostess, ⌜Fang, Snare, Bardolph, Page,
and others⌝ exit.
CHIEF JUSTICE, ⌜to Gower⌝ 0821 I have heard better news.
FALSTAFF, ⌜to Chief Justice⌝ 0822 What’s the news, my ⟨good⟩
CHIEF JUSTICE, ⌜to Gower⌝ 0824 175Where lay the King
GOWER 0826 At ⟨Basingstoke,⟩ my lord.
FALSTAFF, ⌜to Chief Justice⌝ 0827 I hope, my lord, all’s
0828 well. What is the news, my lord?
CHIEF JUSTICE, ⌜to Gower⌝ 0829 180Come all his forces back?
0830 No. Fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse
0831 Are marched up to my Lord of Lancaster
0832 Against Northumberland and the Archbishop.
p. 65FALSTAFF, ⌜to Chief Justice⌝
0833 Comes the King back from Wales, my noble lord?
CHIEF JUSTICE, ⌜to Gower⌝
0834 185 You shall have letters of me presently.
0835 Come. Go along with me, good Master Gower.
FALSTAFF 0836 My lord!
CHIEF JUSTICE 0837 What’s the matter?
FALSTAFF 0838 Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to
0839 190 dinner?
GOWER 0840 I must wait upon my good lord here. I thank
0841 you, good Sir John.
CHIEF JUSTICE 0842 Sir John, you loiter here too long, being
0843 you are to take soldiers up in counties as you go.
FALSTAFF 0844 195Will you sup with me, Master Gower?
CHIEF JUSTICE 0845 What foolish master taught you these
0846 manners, Sir John?
FALSTAFF 0847 Master Gower, if they become me not, he was
0848 a fool that taught them me.—This is the right
0849 200 fencing grace, my lord: tap for tap, and so part fair.
CHIEF JUSTICE 0850 Now the Lord lighten thee. Thou art a
0851 great fool.
⟨They ⌜separate and⌝ exit.⟩