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Henry IV, Part 2 - Act 3, scene 2
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Navigate this workHenry IV, Part 2 - Act 3, scene 2
Act 3, scene 2
On his journey through Gloucestershire, Falstaff selects recruits for the army and decides that, on his return, he will fleece his old friend, Justice Shallow.Enter Justice Shallow and Justice Silence.
SHALLOW 1613 Come on, come on, come on. Give me your
1614 hand, sir, give me your hand, sir. An early stirrer, by
1615 the rood. And how doth my good cousin Silence?
SILENCE 1616 Good morrow, good cousin Shallow.
SHALLOW 1617 5And how doth my cousin your bedfellow?
1618 And your fairest daughter and mine, my goddaughter
SILENCE 1620 Alas, a black ousel, cousin Shallow.
SHALLOW 1621 By yea and no, sir. I dare say my cousin
1622 10 William is become a good scholar. He is at Oxford
1623 still, is he not?
SILENCE 1624 Indeed, sir, to my cost.
SHALLOW 1625 He must then to the Inns o’ Court shortly. I
1626 was once of Clement’s Inn, where I think they will
1627 15 talk of mad Shallow yet.
SILENCE 1628 You were called “Lusty Shallow” then,
SHALLOW 1630 By the Mass, I was called anything, and I
1631 would have done anything indeed too, and roundly
1632 20 too. There was I, and little John Doit of Staffordshire,
1633 and black George Barnes, and Francis Pickbone,
1634 and Will Squele, a Cotswold man. You had
1635 not four such swinge-bucklers in all the Inns o’
1636 Court again. And I may say to you, we knew where
1637 25 the bona robas were and had the best of them all at
1638 commandment. Then was Jack Falstaff, now Sir
1639 John, a boy, and page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of
SILENCE 1641 This Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon
1642 30 about soldiers?
SHALLOW 1643 The same Sir John, the very same. I see him
1644 break Scoggin’s head at the court gate, when he
1645 was a crack not thus high; and the very same day did
p. 1191646 I fight with one Sampson Stockfish, a fruiterer,
1647 35 behind Grey’s Inn. Jesu, Jesu, the mad days that I
1648 have spent! And to see how many of my old acquaintance
1649 are dead.
SILENCE 1650 We shall all follow, cousin.
SHALLOW 1651 Certain, ’tis certain, very sure, very sure.
1652 40 Death, as the Psalmist saith, is certain to all. All
1653 shall die. How a good yoke of bullocks at ⟨Stamford⟩
SILENCE 1655 By my troth, ⟨cousin,⟩ I was not there.
SHALLOW 1656 Death is certain. Is old Dooble of your town
1657 45 living yet?
SILENCE 1658 Dead, sir.
SHALLOW 1659 Jesu, Jesu, dead! He drew a good bow, and
1660 dead? He shot a fine shoot. John o’ Gaunt loved him
1661 well, and betted much money on his head. Dead! He
1662 50 would have clapped i’ th’ clout at twelve score, and
1663 carried you a forehand shaft a fourteen and fourteen
1664 and a half, that it would have done a man’s
1665 heart good to see. How a score of ewes now?
SILENCE 1666 Thereafter as they be, a score of good ewes
1667 55 may be worth ten pounds.
SHALLOW 1668 And is old Dooble dead?
SILENCE 1669 Here come two of Sir John Falstaff’s men, as I
Enter Bardolph and one with him.
⟨SHALLOW⟩ 1671 Good morrow, honest gentlemen.
BARDOLPH 1672 60I beseech you, which is Justice Shallow?
SHALLOW 1673 I am Robert Shallow, sir, a poor esquire of
1674 this county and one of the King’s justices of the
1675 peace. What is your good pleasure with me?
BARDOLPH 1676 My captain, sir, commends him to you, my
1677 65 captain, Sir John Falstaff, a tall gentleman, by
1678 heaven, and a most gallant leader.
p. 121SHALLOW 1679 He greets me well, sir. I knew him a good
1680 backsword man. How doth the good knight? May I
1681 ask how my lady his wife doth?
BARDOLPH 1682 70Sir, pardon. A soldier is better ⟨accommodated⟩
1683 than with a wife.
SHALLOW 1684 It is well said, in faith, sir, and it is well said
1685 indeed too. “Better accommodated.” It is good,
1686 yea, indeed is it. Good phrases are surely, and ever
1687 75 were, very commendable. “Accommodated.” It
1688 comes of accommodo. Very good, a good phrase.
BARDOLPH 1689 Pardon, sir, I have heard the word—
1690 “phrase” call you it? By this day, I know not the
1691 phrase, but I will maintain the word with my sword
1692 80 to be a soldierlike word, and a word of exceeding
1693 good command, by heaven. “Accommodated,” that
1694 is when a man is, as they say, accommodated, or
1695 when a man is being whereby he may be thought to
1696 be accommodated, which is an excellent thing.
SHALLOW 1697 85It is very just. Look, here comes good Sir
1698 John.—Give me your good hand, give me your
1699 Worship’s good hand. By my troth, you like well and
1700 bear your years very well. Welcome, good Sir John.
FALSTAFF 1701 I am glad to see you well, good Master
1702 90 Robert Shallow.—Master ⟨Sure-card,⟩ as I think?
SHALLOW 1703 No, Sir John. It is my cousin Silence, in
1704 commission with me.
FALSTAFF 1705 Good Master Silence, it well befits you
1706 should be of the peace.
SILENCE 1707 95Your good Worship is welcome.
FALSTAFF 1708 Fie, this is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you
1709 provided me here half a dozen sufficient men?
SHALLOW 1710 Marry, have we, sir. Will you sit?
⌜They sit at a table.⌝
p. 123FALSTAFF 1711 Let me see them, I beseech you.
SHALLOW 1712 100Where’s the roll? Where’s the roll? Where’s
1713 the roll? Let me see, let me see, let me see. So, so,
1714 so, so, so. So, so. Yea, marry, sir.—Rafe Mouldy!—
1715 Let them appear as I call, let them do so, let them
1716 do so.
⌜Enter Mouldy, followed by Shadow, Wart, Feeble,
1717 105 Let me see, where is Mouldy?
MOULDY, ⌜coming forward⌝ 1718 Here, an it please you.
SHALLOW 1719 What think you, Sir John? A good-limbed
1720 fellow, young, strong, and of good friends.
FALSTAFF 1721 Is thy name Mouldy?
MOULDY 1722 110Yea, an ’t please you.
FALSTAFF 1723 ’Tis the more time thou wert used.
SHALLOW 1724 Ha, ha, ha, most excellent, i’ faith! Things
1725 that are mouldy lack use. Very singular good, in
1726 faith. Well said, Sir John, very well said.
⟨FALSTAFF 1727 115Prick him.⟩
⌜Shallow marks the scroll.⌝
MOULDY 1728 I was pricked well enough before, an you
1729 could have let me alone. My old dame will be
1730 undone now for one to do her husbandry and her
1731 drudgery. You need not to have pricked me. There
1732 120 are other men fitter to go out than I.
FALSTAFF 1733 Go to. Peace, Mouldy. You shall go. Mouldy,
1734 it is time you were spent.
MOULDY 1735 Spent?
SHALLOW 1736 Peace, fellow, peace. Stand aside. Know you
1737 125 where you are?—For th’ other, Sir John. Let me
1738 see.—Simon Shadow!
FALSTAFF 1739 Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under.
1740 He’s like to be a cold soldier.
SHALLOW 1741 Where’s Shadow?
p. 125SHADOW, ⌜coming forward⌝ 1742 130Here, sir.
FALSTAFF 1743 Shadow, whose son art thou?
SHADOW 1744 My mother’s son, sir.
FALSTAFF 1745 Thy mother’s son! Like enough, and thy
1746 father’s shadow. So the son of the female is the
1747 135 shadow of the male. It is often so, indeed, but much
1748 of the father’s substance.
SHALLOW 1749 Do you like him, Sir John?
FALSTAFF 1750 Shadow will serve for summer. Prick him,
1751 for we have a number of shadows ⟨to⟩ fill up the
1752 140 muster book.
SHALLOW 1753 Thomas Wart!
FALSTAFF 1754 Where’s he?
WART, ⌜coming forward⌝ 1755 Here, sir.
FALSTAFF 1756 Is thy name Wart?
WART 1757 145Yea, sir.
FALSTAFF 1758 Thou art a very ragged wart.
SHALLOW 1759 Shall I prick him ⟨down,⟩ Sir John?
FALSTAFF 1760 It were superfluous, for ⟨his⟩ apparel is built
1761 upon his back, and the whole frame stands upon
1762 150 pins. Prick him no more.
SHALLOW 1763 Ha, ha, ha. You can do it, sir, you can do it. I
1764 commend you well.—Francis Feeble!
FEEBLE, ⌜coming forward⌝ 1765 Here, sir.
SHALLOW 1766 What trade art thou, Feeble?
FEEBLE 1767 155A woman’s tailor, sir.
SHALLOW 1768 Shall I prick him, sir?
FALSTAFF 1769 You may, but if he had been a man’s tailor,
1770 he’d ha’ pricked you.—Wilt thou make as many
1771 holes in an enemy’s battle as thou hast done in a
1772 160 woman’s petticoat?
FEEBLE 1773 I will do my good will, sir. You can have no
FALSTAFF 1775 Well said, good woman’s tailor, well said,
1776 courageous Feeble. Thou wilt be as valiant as the
p. 1271777 165 wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse.—
1778 Prick the woman’s tailor well, Master Shallow,
1779 deep, Master Shallow.
FEEBLE 1780 I would Wart might have gone, sir.
FALSTAFF 1781 I would thou wert a man’s tailor, that thou
1782 170 mightst mend him and make him fit to go. I cannot
1783 put him to a private soldier that is the leader of so
1784 many thousands. Let that suffice, most forcible
FEEBLE 1786 It shall suffice, sir.
FALSTAFF 1787 175I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble.—Who
1788 is ⟨the⟩ next?
SHALLOW 1789 Peter Bullcalf o’ th’ green.
FALSTAFF 1790 Yea, marry, let’s see Bullcalf.
BULLCALF, ⌜coming forward⌝ 1791 Here, sir.
FALSTAFF 1792 180Fore God, a likely fellow. Come, prick ⟨me⟩
1793 Bullcalf till he roar again.
BULLCALF 1794 O Lord, good my lord captain—
FALSTAFF 1795 What, dost thou roar before thou art
BULLCALF 1797 185O Lord, sir, I am a diseased man.
FALSTAFF 1798 What disease hast thou?
BULLCALF 1799 A whoreson cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I
1800 caught with ringing in the King’s affairs upon his
1801 coronation day, sir.
FALSTAFF 1802 190Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown.
1803 We will have away thy cold, and I will take such
1804 order that thy friends shall ring for thee.—Is here
SHALLOW 1806 Here is two more called than your number.
1807 195 You must have but four here, sir, and so I pray you
1808 go in with me to dinner.
FALSTAFF 1809 Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot
1810 tarry dinner. I am glad to see you, by my troth,
1811 Master Shallow.
p. 129SHALLOW 1812 200O, Sir John, do you remember since we lay
1813 all night in the windmill in Saint George’s Field?
FALSTAFF 1814 No more of that, ⟨good⟩ Master Shallow, ⟨no
1815 more of that.⟩
SHALLOW 1816 Ha, ’twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork
1817 205 alive?
FALSTAFF 1818 She lives, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW 1819 She never could away with me.
FALSTAFF 1820 Never, never. She would always say she could
1821 not abide Master Shallow.
SHALLOW 1822 210By the Mass, I could anger her to th’ heart.
1823 She was then a bona roba. Doth she hold her own
FALSTAFF 1825 Old, old, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW 1826 Nay, she must be old. She cannot choose but
1827 215 be old. Certain, she’s old, and had Robin Nightwork
1828 by old Nightwork before I came to Clement’s Inn.
SILENCE 1829 That’s fifty-five year ago.
SHALLOW 1830 Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that
1831 that this knight and I have seen!—Ha, Sir John, said
1832 220 I well?
FALSTAFF 1833 We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master
SHALLOW 1835 That we have, that we have, that we have. In
1836 faith, Sir John, we have. Our watchword was “Hem,
1837 225 boys.” Come, let’s to dinner, come, let’s to dinner.
1838 Jesus, the days that we have seen! Come, come.
⌜Shallow, Silence, and Falstaff rise and⌝ exit.
BULLCALF 1839 Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my
1840 friend, and here’s four Harry ten-shillings in
1841 French crowns for you. ⌜He gives Bardolph money.⌝
1842 230 In very truth, sir, I had as lief be hanged, sir, as go.
1843 And yet, for mine own part, sir, I do not care, but
1844 rather because I am unwilling, and, for mine own
1845 part, have a desire to stay with my friends. Else, sir,
1846 I did not care, for mine own part, so much.
p. 131BARDOLPH 1847 235Go to. Stand aside.
MOULDY 1848 And, good Master Corporal Captain, for my
1849 old dame’s sake, stand my friend. She has nobody to
1850 do anything about her when I am gone, and she is
1851 old and cannot help herself. You shall have forty,
1852 240 sir.⌜He gives money.⌝
BARDOLPH 1853 Go to. Stand aside.
FEEBLE 1854 By my troth, I care not. A man can die but
1855 once. We owe God a death. I’ll ne’er bear a base
1856 mind. An ’t be my destiny, so; an ’t be not, so. No
1857 245 man’s too good to serve ’s prince, and let it go
1858 which way it will, he that dies this year is quit for
1859 the next.
BARDOLPH 1860 Well said. Th’ art a good fellow.
FEEBLE 1861 Faith, I’ll bear no base mind.
Enter Falstaff and the Justices.
FALSTAFF 1862 250Come, sir, which men shall I have?
SHALLOW 1863 Four of which you please.
BARDOLPH, ⌜aside to Falstaff⌝ 1864 Sir, a word with you. I
1865 have three pound to free Mouldy and Bullcalf.
FALSTAFF 1866 Go to, well.
SHALLOW 1867 255Come, Sir John, which four will you have?
FALSTAFF 1868 Do you choose for me.
SHALLOW 1869 Marry, then, Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble, and
FALSTAFF 1871 Mouldy and Bullcalf! For you, Mouldy, stay
1872 260 at home till you are past service.—And for your
1873 part, Bullcalf, grow till you come unto it. I will
1874 none of you.⌜Mouldy and Bullcalf exit.⌝
SHALLOW 1875 Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong.
1876 They are your likeliest men, and I would have you
1877 265 served with the best.
FALSTAFF 1878 Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to
1879 choose a man? Care I for the limb, the thews, the
p. 1331880 stature, bulk and big assemblance of a man? Give
1881 me the spirit, Master Shallow. Here’s Wart. You see
1882 270 what a ragged appearance it is. He shall charge you
1883 and discharge you with the motion of a pewterer’s
1884 hammer, come off and on swifter than he that
1885 gibbets on the brewer’s bucket. And this same half-faced
1886 fellow, Shadow, give me this man. He presents
1887 275 no mark to the enemy. The foeman may with
1888 as great aim level at the edge of a penknife. And for
1889 a retreat, how swiftly will this Feeble, the woman’s
1890 tailor, run off! O, give me the spare men, and spare
1891 me the great ones.—Put me a caliver into Wart’s
1892 280 hand, Bardolph.
BARDOLPH, ⌜giving Wart a musket⌝ 1893 Hold, Wart. Traverse.
1894 Thas, thas, thas.
FALSTAFF, ⌜to Wart⌝ 1895 Come, manage me your caliver: so,
1896 very well, go to, very good, exceeding good. O, give
1897 285 me always a little, lean, old, chopped, bald shot.
1898 Well said, i’ faith, Wart. Th’ art a good scab. Hold,
1899 there’s a tester for thee.⌜He gives Wart money.⌝
SHALLOW 1900 He is not his craft’s master. He doth not do it
1901 right. I remember at Mile End Green, when I lay at
1902 290 Clement’s Inn—I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthur’s
1903 show—there was a little quiver fellow, and he
1904 would manage you his piece thus. ⌜Shallow performs
with the musket.⌝ 1905 And he would about and
1906 about, and come you in, and come you in. “Rah,
1907 295 tah, tah,” would he say. “Bounce,” would he say,
1908 and away again would he go, and again would he
1909 come. I shall ne’er see such a fellow.
FALSTAFF 1910 These fellows will do well, Master Shallow.
1911 —God keep you, Master Silence. I will not use
1912 300 many words with you. Fare you well, gentlemen
1913 both. I thank you. I must a dozen mile tonight.—
1914 Bardolph, give the soldiers coats.
p. 135SHALLOW 1915 Sir John, the Lord bless you. God prosper
1916 your affairs. God send us peace. At your return, visit
1917 305 our house. Let our old acquaintance be renewed.
1918 Peradventure I will with you to the court.
FALSTAFF 1919 Fore God, would you would, ⟨Master
SHALLOW 1921 Go to. I have spoke at a word. God keep you.
FALSTAFF 1922 310Fare you well, gentle gentlemen.
⌜Shallow and Silence⌝ exit.
1923 On, Bardolph. Lead the men away.
⌜All but Falstaff exit.⌝
1924 As I return, I will fetch off these justices. I do see
1925 the bottom of Justice Shallow. Lord, Lord, how
1926 subject we old men are to this vice of lying. This
1927 315 same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to
1928 me of the wildness of his youth and the feats he hath
1929 done about Turnbull Street, and every third word a
1930 lie, duer paid to the hearer than the Turk’s tribute. I
1931 do remember him at Clement’s Inn, like a man
1932 320 made after supper of a cheese paring. When he was
1933 naked, he was, for all the world, like a forked radish
1934 with a head fantastically carved upon it with a
1935 knife. He was so forlorn that his dimensions to
1936 any thick sight were invincible. He was the very
1937 325 genius of famine, [yet lecherous as a monkey,
1938 and the whores called him “mandrake.”[ He came
1939 ⟨ever⟩ in the rearward of the fashion, [and sung
1940 those tunes to the overscutched huswives that he
1941 heard the carmen whistle, and swore they were his
1942 330 fancies or his good-nights.] And now is this Vice’s
1943 dagger become a squire, and talks as familiarly
1944 of John o’ Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother
1945 to him, and I’ll be sworn he ne’er saw him but
1946 once in the tilt-yard, and then he burst his head
1947 335 for crowding among the Marshal’s men. I saw it
1948 and told John o’ Gaunt he beat his own name, for
p. 1371949 you might have thrust him and all his apparel into
1950 an eel-skin; the case of a treble hautboy was a
1951 mansion for him, a court. And now has he land and
1952 340 beefs. Well, I’ll be acquainted with him if I return,
1953 and ’t shall go hard but I’ll make him a philosopher’s
1954 two stones to me. If the young dace be a
1955 bait for the old pike, I see no reason in the law of
1956 nature but I may snap at him. Let time shape, and
1957 345 there an end.