How to be a true widow in early modern England

This is a selection of pieces of advice from a manuscript book (Folger 271378 MS) titled Of the Commendable Estate of Widowehoode. The manuscript was likely produced in England c.1620-30 as a translation of Dello stato lodevole delle Vedove, part 3 of a three volume set of spiritual guides by the Italian Jesuit Fulvio Androzzi, first published in Milan in 1579.

Advice like ‘she must make accounte not to live any more in the ioyes and solaces of the worlde, but rather in sighing and mourning’, makes for rather depressing reading for the modern woman, and perhaps for the early modern woman as well. This book offers an insight into the ideal widowhood a spiritual and pious woman could aspire to. But a life of ‘sighing and mourning’ was not the only one widows experienced, or chose for themselves in early modern England.

The 127-page book serves as a guide for widowed women on how they should to behave to attain the status of a ‘true’ widow. It chiefly promotes the value of chastity, which could be demonstrated through a range of lifestyle choices, including restraint from sinful behaviours. The text supports this advice with biblical quotes from St Augustine and St Paul, and the lives of exemplary women from early Christian history including Galla, daughter of Symmachus the Consul, and Olympias, widow of Constans who both refused to remarry after the death of their husbands. Remarriage was lawful, but misguided, as ‘the widow may better serve God than the wife’. Widowhood is presented as an ideal time for a woman to devote herself to God and choose a life of seclusion and religious contemplation, free from the sins unavoidable for married women.

The book makes clear that not all widows are automatically ‘true’ widows. The text sets out early on that it was possible to be widowed, but not display or embody a sufficiently virtuous life. Any widow who wished to remarry for any reason was not a ‘true’ widow. For women who sought to marry again for love, or to improve their status and wealth, it was better to get married again in order to mediate their sinful behaviour. As argued by St Paul, ‘better it is to marrie than to burne.’ St Paul’s advice especially applied to young widows who were most likely to behave in an openly sinful way, the opposite of the behavioural rules outlined in the book.

Intentions mattered for widows. Women who had to remarry for the welfare of their children would be rewarded in heaven for their ‘paines’ as they cared for others with the love of God in their hearts. But even women who chose to remain unmarried and lived outwardly chaste lives might not meet the high standards of the ‘true’ widow. Practical considerations such as fear of a ‘worse husband’, an inability to find a suitable match, or simply not being inclined to marry again were not sufficient. These women were especially concerning as they might ‘to the opinion of the world’ look like ‘accounted reverend Matrons’ but in reality, ‘know little’ of God. In the author’s mind, chastity was essential in both body and mind.

There are still some unanswered questions about this manuscript book. Of the Commendable Estate of Widowehoode has no author or date, but producing a translation of the original Italian text would have been an appropriate intellectual and spiritual exercise for an educated English Catholic at this time. The Commendable Estate is formatted like a print book with margins, headings and italicised quotes, and is very neatly written in an early seventeenth-century professional hand with no errors or crossings out. However, it does not appear to exist in print form. Printing Catholic books was illegal in post-Reformation England so it is possible that the handwritten book circulated among a community of recusants. It is a small book, 17cm long, so would have been portable and easy to carry. However, it is in very good condition, suggesting that perhaps it was not frequently read, or widely shared. While it is not a direct match to the Folger’s manuscript book, there is a printed English text titled The Widdowes Glasse that is an abridged version of Androzzi’s original Italian, printed in 1621 by the English College Press, a Jesuit press in St Omer, France. The existence of different English translations of Androzzi’s text in early seventeenth-century England suggests an interest from recusant Catholics in this type of spiritual guidance.

Catholic widows in England in this period were often deeply devoted to their religion, and played crucial roles in maintaining the Catholic recusant community. Evidence from recusancy fines shows that widows were viewed by the authorities as acting independently in continuing to practise their faith. Distributing books, in both printed and manuscript form was one role Catholic women certainly took on as part of their activities. Texts like this book could be read privately in a situation where public worship was not possible, standing in for sermons and liturgy. For many recusant writers, especially from the late sixteenth century where any hopes for a Catholic restoration in England had all but disappeared, writing guides to how to live according to Catholic morals was imperative. Books such as The Commendable Estate contained practical advice aimed at making this lifestyle seem possible. It also shares ideas with a new type of publication emerging in early seventeenth-century France, detailing the exemplary lives of elite Catholic women. These ‘dévotes’ were increasingly respected and their stories published and circulated as didactic tools. Many of these books were written by men but it is possible that some Catholic widows did indeed seek to uphold these values in their own lives.

While a life dedicated to spirituality and piety may have been a choice for both Catholic and Protestant widows, they had many other options available to them. Financial security was important, and for widows who were poor and had young children, remarriage may not have felt like a choice, or certainly not a bad one compared to poverty and reliance on charity. But for many, widowhood offered choices in work, love and spirituality. Far from staying in their homes and avoiding conversation with others, many widows worked independently, with some being granted guild membership to continue the trade they had worked in alongside their husband. Others remained single and enjoyed the freedom and legal recognition that was granted to widows. Some chose to remarry for further status, financial gain, or for love. For women whose parents had arranged their first marriages, widowhood offered the possibility of a remarriage to a man of their own choosing.

Of the Commendable Estate of Widowehoode details one option for widows in early modern England. While its lessons appear restrictive, this lengthy guide on how to reach ‘true’ widowhood reveals that women were responsible for negotiating their own spirituality and relationship to God. Widows had access to guidance on the ideal, moral life, but also had the choice whether to follow it completely, partially, or not at all.

Sarah L. Bastow, The Catholic Gentry of Yorkshire, 1536-1642 (The Edward Mellen Press, 2007).

Sandra Cavallo and Lyndan Warner (eds.), Widowhood in Medieval and Early Modern Europe (Routledge, 1999).

Barbara B. Diefendorf, From Penitence to Charity: Pious Women and the Catholic Reformation in Paris (Oxford University Press, 2004).

Laura Gowing, Ingenious Trade: Women and Work in Seventeenth-Century London (Cambridge University Press, 2021).

Earle Havens and Elizabeth Patton, ‘Underground Networks, Prisons and the Circulation of Counter-Reformation Books in Elizabethan England’, in Early Modern English Catholicism: Identity, Memory and Counter-Reformation, ed. James E. Kelly and Susan Royal (Brill, 2017), 165-188.

John R. Roberts, A Critical Anthology of English Recusant Devotional Prose (Duquesne University Press, 1966).

Kimberly Schutte, ‘Marrying Out in the Sixteenth Century: Subsequent Marriages of Aristocratic Women in the Tudor Era’ Journal of Family History, 38, no. 1 (2012): 3-16, https://doi.org/10.1177/0363199012469952

Alexandra Walsham, ‘Preaching without speaking: script, print and religious dissent’, in The Uses of Script and Print, 1300-1700, ed. Julia Crick and Alexandra Walsham (Cambridge University Press, 2004), 211-234.