The Two Gentlemen of Verona - Act 2, scene 3
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Act 2, scene 3
Lance grieves that he must part from his family to travel with Proteus, and he chastises his dog, Crab, for not sharing his grief.Enter Lance, ⌜weeping, with his dog, Crab.⌝
LANCE 0596 Nay,’twill be this hour ere I have done weeping.
0597 All the kind of the Lances have this very fault. I have
0598 received my proportion like the Prodigious Son and
0599 am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial’s court. I
0600 5 think Crab my dog be the sourest-natured dog that
0601 lives: my mother weeping, my father wailing, my
0602 sister crying, our maid howling, our cat wringing
0603 her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity,
0604 yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed one tear. He
0605 10 is a stone, a very pibble stone, and has no more pity
0606 in him than a dog. A Jew would have wept to have
0607 seen our parting. Why, my grandam, having no
0608 eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my parting.
0609 Nay, I’ll show you the manner of it. ⌜He takes off his
shoes.⌝ 0610 15This shoe is my father. No, this left shoe is
0611 my father; no, no, this left shoe is my mother. Nay,
0612 that cannot be so neither. Yes, it is so, it is so; it hath
0613 the worser sole. This shoe with the hole in it is my
0614 mother; and this my father. A vengeance on ’t, there
0615 20 ’tis! Now sir, this staff is my sister, for, look you, she
0616 is as white as a lily and as small as a wand. This hat
0617 is Nan, our maid. I am the dog. No, the dog is
0618 himself, and I am the dog. O, the dog is me, and I
0619 am myself. Ay, so, so. Now come I to my father:
0620 25 “Father, your blessing.” Now should not the shoe
0621 speak a word for weeping. Now should I kiss my
0622 father. ⌜He kisses one shoe.⌝ Well, he weeps on. Now
0624 like a ⌜wold⌝ woman! Well, I kiss her. ⌜He kisses the
other shoe.⌝ 0625 30Why, there ’tis; here’s my mother’s
0626 breath up and down. Now come I to my sister. Mark
0627 the moan she makes! Now the dog all this while
0628 sheds not a tear nor speaks a word. But see how I
0629 lay the dust with my tears.
PANTINO 0630 35Lance, away, away! Aboard. Thy master is
0631 shipped, and thou art to post after with oars. What’s
0632 the matter? Why weep’st thou, man? Away, ass.
0633 You’ll lose the tide if you tarry any longer.
LANCE 0634 It is no matter if the tied were lost, for it is the
0635 40 unkindest tied that ever any man tied.
PANTINO 0636 What’s the unkindest tide?
LANCE 0637 Why, he that’s tied here, Crab my dog.
PANTINO 0638 Tut, man. I mean thou ’lt lose the flood and, in
0639 losing the flood, lose thy voyage and, in losing thy
0640 45 voyage, lose thy master and, in losing thy master,
0641 lose thy service and, in losing thy service—⌜Lance
covers Pantino’s mouth.⌝ 0642 Why dost thou stop my
LANCE 0644 For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.
PANTINO 0645 50Where should I lose my tongue?
LANCE 0646 In thy tale.
PANTINO 0647 In thy tail!
LANCE 0648 Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master,
0649 and the service, and the tied. Why, man, if the river
0650 55 were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the
0651 wind were down, I could drive the boat with my
PANTINO 0653 Come. Come away, man. I was sent to call
LANCE 0655 60Sir, call me what thou dar’st.
LANCE 0657 Well, I will go.