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The Two Gentlemen of Verona - Act 2, scene 5
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Last updated: Fri, Jul 31, 2015
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Act 2, scene 5
Lance describes for Speed the tender parting of Proteus from Julia and hears about Valentine’s love for Sylvia.Enter Speed and Lance, ⌜with his dog, Crab.⌝
SPEED 0882 Lance, by mine honesty, welcome to Padua.
LANCE 0883 Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not
0884 welcome. I reckon this always: that a man is never
0885 undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a
0886 5 place till some certain shot be paid and the Hostess
0887 say welcome.
SPEED 0888 Come on, you madcap. I’ll to the alehouse with
0889 you presently, where, for one shot of five pence,
0890 thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah,
0891 10 how did thy master part with Madam Julia?
LANCE 0892 Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted
0893 very fairly in jest.
SPEED 0894 But shall she marry him?
LANCE 0895 No.
SPEED 0896 15How then? Shall he marry her?
LANCE 0897 No, neither.
SPEED 0898 What, are they broken?
LANCE 0899 No, they are both as whole as a fish.
SPEED 0900 Why then, how stands the matter with them?
LANCE 0901 20Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it
0902 stands well with her.
SPEED 0903 What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.
LANCE 0904 What a block art thou that thou canst not! My
0905 staff understands me.
p. 77SPEED 0906 25What thou sayst?
LANCE 0907 Ay, and what I do too. Look thee, I’ll but lean,
0908 and my staff understands me.
SPEED 0909 It stands under thee indeed.
LANCE 0910 Why, “stand under” and “understand” is all
0911 30 one.
SPEED 0912 But tell me true, will ’t be a match?
LANCE 0913 Ask my dog. If he say “Ay,” it will; if he say
0914 “No,” it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it
SPEED 0916 35The conclusion is, then, that it will.
LANCE 0917 Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but
0918 by a parable.
SPEED 0919 ’Tis well that I get it so. But, Lance, how sayst
0920 thou that my master is become a notable lover?
LANCE 0921 40I never knew him otherwise.
SPEED 0922 Than how?
LANCE 0923 A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.
SPEED 0924 Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak’st me.
LANCE 0925 Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.
SPEED 0926 45I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.
LANCE 0927 Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn
0928 himself in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the
0929 alehouse; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not
0930 worth the name of a Christian.
SPEED 0931 50Why?
LANCE 0932 Because thou hast not so much charity in thee
0933 as to go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
SPEED 0934 At thy service.