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The Two Noble Kinsmen - Act 5, scene 2
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Navigate this workThe Two Noble Kinsmen - Act 5, scene 2
Act 5, scene 2
The doctor observes the jailer’s daughter with the wooer pretending to be Palamon, and declares that she will soon be cured. Over her father’s protest, the doctor encourages the wooer to go along with her desire that they sleep together.Enter Doctor, Jailer, and Wooer in
⌜the⌝ habit of Palamon.
2859 Has this advice I told you done any good upon her?
2860 O, very much. The maids that kept her company
2861 Have half-persuaded her that I am Palamon;
2862 Within this half-hour she came smiling to me,
p. 2132863 5 And asked me what I would eat, and when I would
2864 kiss her.
2865 I told her “Presently,” and kissed her twice.
2866 ’Twas well done; twenty times had been far better,
2867 For there the cure lies mainly.
WOOER 2868 10 Then she told me
2869 She would watch with me tonight, for well she knew
2870 What hour my fit would take me.
DOCTOR 2871 Let her do so,
2872 And when your fit comes, fit her home,
2873 15 And presently.
WOOER 2874 She would have me sing.
2875 You did so?
WOOER 2876 No.
DOCTOR 2877 ’Twas very ill done, then.
2878 20 You should observe her ev’ry way.
WOOER 2879 Alas,
2880 I have no voice, sir, to confirm her that way.
2881 That’s all one, if you make a noise.
2882 If she entreat again, do anything.
2883 25 Lie with her, if she ask you.
JAILER 2884 Ho there, doctor!
2885 Yes, in the way of cure.
JAILER 2886 But first, by your leave,
2887 I’ th’ way of honesty.
DOCTOR 2888 30 That’s but a niceness.
2889 Ne’er cast your child away for honesty.
2890 Cure her first this way; then if she will be honest,
2891 She has the path before her.
2892 Thank you, doctor.
p. 215DOCTOR 2893 35 Pray bring her in
2894 And let’s see how she is.
JAILER 2895 I will, and tell her
2896 Her Palamon stays for her. But, doctor,
2897 Methinks you are i’ th’ wrong still.Jailer exits.
DOCTOR 2898 40 Go, go.
2899 You fathers are fine fools. Her honesty?
2900 And we should give her physic till we find that!
2901 Why, do you think she is not honest, sir?
2902 How old is she?
WOOER 2903 45 She’s eighteen.
DOCTOR 2904 She may be.
2905 But that’s all one; ’tis nothing to our purpose.
2906 Whate’er her father says, if you perceive
2907 Her mood inclining that way that I spoke of,
2908 50 Videlicet, the way of flesh—you have me?
2909 ⌜Yes,⌝ very well, sir.
DOCTOR 2910 Please her appetite,
2911 And do it home; it cures her, ipso facto,
2912 The melancholy humor that infects her.
2913 55 I am of your mind, doctor.
DOCTOR 2914 You’ll find it so.
Enter Jailer, Daughter, ⌜and⌝ Maid.
2915 She comes; pray ⌜humor⌝ her.
⌜Wooer and Doctor stand aside.⌝
JAILER, ⌜to Daughter⌝
2916 Come, your love Palamon stays for you, child,
2917 And has done this long hour, to visit you.
2918 60 I thank him for his gentle patience.
p. 2172919 He’s a kind gentleman, and I am much bound to
2921 Did you ne’er see the horse he gave me?
JAILER 2922 Yes.
2923 65 How do you like him?
JAILER 2924 He’s a very fair one.
2925 You never saw him dance?
JAILER 2926 No.
DAUGHTER 2927 I have, often.
2928 70 He dances very finely, very comely,
2929 And for a jig, come cut and long tail to him,
2930 He turns you like a top.
JAILER 2931 That’s fine indeed.
2932 He’ll dance the morris twenty mile an hour,
2933 75 And that will founder the best hobbyhorse,
2934 If I have any skill, in all the parish,
2935 And gallops to the ⌜tune⌝ of “Light o’ love.”
2936 What think you of this horse?
JAILER 2937 Having these virtues,
2938 80 I think he might be brought to play at tennis.
2939 Alas, that’s nothing.
JAILER 2940 Can he write and read too?
2941 A very fair hand, and casts himself th’ accounts
2942 Of all his hay and provender. That hostler
2943 85 Must rise betime that cozens him. You know
2944 The chestnut mare the Duke has?
JAILER 2945 Very well.
2946 She is horribly in love with him, poor beast,
2947 But he is like his master, coy and scornful.
2948 90 What dowry has she?
DAUGHTER 2949 Some two hundred bottles,
2950 And twenty strike of oats, but he’ll ne’er have her.
2951 He lisps in ’s neighing able to entice
2952 A miller’s mare. He’ll be the death of her.
DOCTOR, ⌜aside⌝ 2953 95What stuff she utters!
⌜Wooer and Doctor come forward.⌝
2954 Make curtsy; here your love comes.
WOOER 2955 Pretty soul,
2956 How do you?⌜Daughter curtsies.⌝
2957 That’s a fine maid; there’s a curtsy!
2958 100 Yours to command i’ th’ way of honesty.—
2959 How far is ’t now to th’ end o’ th’ world, my masters?
2960 Why, a day’s journey, wench.
DAUGHTER, ⌜to Wooer⌝ 2961 Will you go with me?
2962 What shall we do there, wench?
DAUGHTER 2963 105 Why, play at
2965 What is there else to do?
WOOER 2966 I am content,
2967 If we shall keep our wedding there.
DAUGHTER 2968 110 ’Tis true,
2969 For there, I will assure you, we shall find
2970 Some blind priest for the purpose, that will venture
2971 To marry us; for here they are nice and foolish.
2972 Besides, my father must be hanged tomorrow,
2973 115 And that would be a blot i’ th’ business.
2974 Are not you Palamon?
WOOER 2975 Do not you know me?
2976 Yes, but you care not for me; I have nothing
2977 But this poor petticoat and two coarse smocks.
2978 120 That’s all one; I will have you.
DAUGHTER 2979 Will you surely?
WOOER, ⌜taking her hand⌝
2980 Yes, by this fair hand, will I.
DAUGHTER 2981 We’ll to bed then.
2982 E’en when you will.⌜He kisses her.⌝
DAUGHTER, ⌜wiping her face⌝ 2983 125 O , sir, you would fain
2984 be nibbling.
2985 Why do you rub my kiss off?
DAUGHTER 2986 ’Tis a sweet one,
2987 And will perfume me finely against the wedding.
2988 130 Is not this your cousin Arcite?⌜She indicates Doctor.⌝
DOCTOR 2989 Yes, sweetheart,
2990 And I am glad my cousin Palamon
2991 Has made so fair a choice.
DAUGHTER 2992 Do you think he’ll have me?
2993 135 Yes, without doubt.
DAUGHTER, ⌜to Jailer⌝ 2994 Do you think so too?
JAILER 2995 Yes.
2996 We shall have many children. (⌜To Doctor.⌝) Lord,
2997 how you’re grown!
2998 140 My Palamon, I hope, will grow too, finely,
2999 Now he’s at liberty. Alas, poor chicken,
3000 He was kept down with hard meat and ill lodging,
3001 But I’ll kiss him up again.
Enter a Messenger.
3002 What do you here? You’ll lose the noblest sight
3003 145 That e’er was seen.
JAILER 3004 Are they i’ th’ field?
MESSENGER 3005 They are.
3006 You bear a charge there too.
JAILER 3007 I’ll away straight.—
3008 150 I must e’en leave you here.
DOCTOR 3009 Nay, we’ll go with you.
3010 I will not lose the ⌜sight.⌝
JAILER, ⌜aside to Doctor⌝ 3011 How did you like her?
3012 I’ll warrant you, within these three or four days
3013 155 I’ll make her right again.⌜Jailer and Messenger exit.⌝
(⌜To Wooer.⌝) 3014 You must not from her,
3015 But still preserve her in this way.
WOOER 3016 I will.
3017 Let’s get her in.
WOOER 3018 160 Come, sweet, we’ll go to dinner
3019 And then we’ll play at cards.
DAUGHTER 3020 And shall we kiss too?
3021 A hundred times.
DAUGHTER 3022 And twenty.
WOOER 3023 165 Ay, and twenty.
3024 And then we’ll sleep together.
DOCTOR, ⌜to Wooer⌝ 3025 Take her offer.
3026 Yes, marry, will we.
DAUGHTER 3027 But you shall not hurt me.
3028 170 I will not, sweet.
DAUGHTER 3029 If you do, love, I’ll cry.