As You Like It
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Navigate this workAs You Like It
In As You Like It, witty words and romance play out against the disputes of divided pairs of brothers. Orlando’s older brother, Oliver, treats him badly and refuses him his small inheritance from their father’s estate; Oliver schemes instead to have Orlando die in a wrestling match. Meanwhile, Duke Frederick has forced his older brother, Duke Senior, into exile in the Forest of Arden.
Duke Senior’s daughter, Rosalind, and Duke Frederick’s daughter, Celia, meet the victorious Orlando at the wrestling match; Orlando and Rosalind fall in love. Banished by her uncle, Rosalind assumes a male identity and leaves with Celia and their fool, Touchstone. Orlando flees Oliver’s murderous plots.
In the Forest of Arden, Rosalind, in her male disguise, forms a teasing friendship with Orlando. Oliver, searching for Orlando, reforms after Orlando saves his life. Rosalind reveals her identity, triggering several weddings, including her own with Orlando and Celia’s with Oliver. Duke Frederick restores the dukedom to Duke Senior, who leaves the forest with his followers.
ORLANDO 0001 As I remember, Adam, it was upon this
0002 fashion bequeathed me by will but poor a thousand
0003 crowns, and, as thou sayst, charged my brother on
0004 his blessing to breed me well. And there begins my
0005 5 sadness. My brother Jaques he keeps at school, and
0006 report speaks goldenly of his profit. For my part, he
0007 keeps me rustically at home, or, to speak more
0008 properly, stays me here at home unkept; for call you
0009 that “keeping,” for a gentleman of my birth, that
0010 10 differs not from the stalling of an ox? His horses are
0011 bred better, for, besides that they are fair with their
0012 feeding, they are taught their manage and, to that
0013 end, riders dearly hired. But I, his brother, gain
0014 nothing under him but growth, for the which his
0015 15 animals on his dunghills are as much bound to him
0016 as I. Besides this nothing that he so plentifully gives
0017 me, the something that nature gave me his countenance
0018 seems to take from me. He lets me feed with
0019 his hinds, bars me the place of a brother, and, as
0020 20 much as in him lies, mines my gentility with my
0021 education. This is it, Adam, that grieves me, and the
0022 spirit of my father, which I think is within me,
0023 begins to mutiny against this servitude. I will no
0025 25 how to avoid it.
ADAM 0026 Yonder comes my master, your brother.
ORLANDO 0027 Go apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how he
0028 will shake me up.⌜Adam steps aside.⌝
OLIVER 0029 Now, sir, what make you here?
ORLANDO 0030 30Nothing. I am not taught to make anything.
OLIVER 0031 What mar you then, sir?
ORLANDO 0032 Marry, sir, I am helping you to mar that
0033 which God made, a poor unworthy brother of
0034 yours, with idleness.
OLIVER 0035 35Marry, sir, be better employed, and be naught
ORLANDO 0037 Shall I keep your hogs and eat husks with
0038 them? What prodigal portion have I spent that I
0039 should come to such penury?
OLIVER 0040 40Know you where you are, sir?
ORLANDO 0041 O, sir, very well: here in your orchard.
OLIVER 0042 Know you before whom, sir?
ORLANDO 0043 Ay, better than him I am before knows me. I
0044 know you are my eldest brother, and in the gentle
0045 45 condition of blood you should so know me. The
0046 courtesy of nations allows you my better in that you
0047 are the first-born, but the same tradition takes not
0048 away my blood, were there twenty brothers betwixt
0049 us. I have as much of my father in me as you, albeit I
0050 50 confess your coming before me is nearer to his
OLIVER, ⌜threatening Orlando⌝ 0052 What, boy!
ORLANDO, ⌜holding off Oliver by the throat⌝ 0053 Come,
0054 come, elder brother, you are too young in this.
OLIVER 0055 55Wilt thou lay hands on me, villain?
ORLANDO 0056 I am no villain. I am the youngest son of Sir
0058 thrice a villain that says such a father begot villains.
0059 Wert thou not my brother, I would not take this
0060 60 hand from thy throat till this other had pulled out
0061 thy tongue for saying so. Thou hast railed on thyself.
ADAM, ⌜coming forward⌝ 0062 Sweet masters, be patient. For
0063 your father’s remembrance, be at accord.
OLIVER, ⌜to Orlando⌝ 0064 Let me go, I say.
ORLANDO 0065 65I will not till I please. You shall hear me. My
0066 father charged you in his will to give me good
0067 education. You have trained me like a peasant,
0068 obscuring and hiding from me all gentlemanlike
0069 qualities. The spirit of my father grows strong in
0070 70 me, and I will no longer endure it. Therefore allow
0071 me such exercises as may become a gentleman, or
0072 give me the poor allottery my father left me by
0073 testament. With that I will go buy my fortunes.
⌜Orlando releases Oliver.⌝
OLIVER 0074 And what wilt thou do—beg when that is
0075 75 spent? Well, sir, get you in. I will not long be
0076 troubled with you. You shall have some part of your
0077 will. I pray you leave me.
ORLANDO 0078 I will no further offend you than becomes
0079 me for my good.
OLIVER, ⌜to Adam⌝ 0080 80Get you with him, you old dog.
ADAM 0081 Is “old dog” my reward? Most true, I have lost
0082 my teeth in your service. God be with my old
0083 master. He would not have spoke such a word.
Orlando ⌜and⌝ Adam exit.
OLIVER 0084 Is it even so? Begin you to grow upon me? I
0085 85 will physic your rankness, and yet give no thousand
0086 crowns neither.—Holla, Dennis!
DENNIS 0087 Calls your Worship?
0089 speak with me?
DENNIS 0090 90So please you, he is here at the door and
0091 importunes access to you.
OLIVER 0092 Call him in. ⌜Dennis exits.⌝ ’Twill be a good
0093 way, and tomorrow the wrestling is.
CHARLES 0094 Good morrow to your Worship.
OLIVER 0095 95Good Monsieur Charles, what’s the new news
0096 at the new court?
CHARLES 0097 There’s no news at the court, sir, but the old
0098 news. That is, the old duke is banished by his
0099 younger brother the new duke, and three or four
0100 100 loving lords have put themselves into voluntary
0101 exile with him, whose lands and revenues enrich
0102 the new duke. Therefore he gives them good leave
0103 to wander.
OLIVER 0104 Can you tell if Rosalind, the Duke’s daughter,
0105 105 be banished with her father?
CHARLES 0106 O, no, for the Duke’s daughter her cousin so
0107 loves her, being ever from their cradles bred together,
0108 that ⌜she⌝ would have followed her exile or have
0109 died to stay behind her. She is at the court and no
0110 110 less beloved of her uncle than his own daughter,
0111 and never two ladies loved as they do.
OLIVER 0112 Where will the old duke live?
CHARLES 0113 They say he is already in the Forest of Arden,
0114 and a many merry men with him; and there they
0115 115 live like the old Robin Hood of England. They say
0116 many young gentlemen flock to him every day and
0117 fleet the time carelessly, as they did in the golden
OLIVER 0119 What, you wrestle tomorrow before the new
0120 120 duke?
0122 with a matter. I am given, sir, secretly to understand
0123 that your younger brother Orlando hath a
0124 disposition to come in disguised against me to try a
0125 125 fall. Tomorrow, sir, I wrestle for my credit, and he
0126 that escapes me without some broken limb shall
0127 acquit him well. Your brother is but young and
0128 tender, and for your love I would be loath to foil
0129 him, as I must for my own honor if he come in.
0130 130 Therefore, out of my love to you, I came hither to
0131 acquaint you withal, that either you might stay him
0132 from his intendment, or brook such disgrace well
0133 as he shall run into, in that it is a thing of his own
0134 search and altogether against my will.
OLIVER 0135 135Charles, I thank thee for thy love to me, which
0136 thou shalt find I will most kindly requite. I had
0137 myself notice of my brother’s purpose herein, and
0138 have by underhand means labored to dissuade him
0139 from it; but he is resolute. I’ll tell thee, Charles, it is
0140 140 the stubbornest young fellow of France, full of
0141 ambition, an envious emulator of every man’s good
0142 parts, a secret and villainous contriver against me
0143 his natural brother. Therefore use thy discretion. I
0144 had as lief thou didst break his neck as his finger.
0145 145 And thou wert best look to ’t, for if thou dost him
0146 any slight disgrace, or if he do not mightily grace
0147 himself on thee, he will practice against thee by
0148 poison, entrap thee by some treacherous device,
0149 and never leave thee till he hath ta’en thy life by
0150 150 some indirect means or other. For I assure thee—
0151 and almost with tears I speak it—there is not one so
0152 young and so villainous this day living. I speak but
0153 brotherly of him, but should I anatomize him to
0154 thee as he is, I must blush and weep, and thou must
0155 155 look pale and wonder.
CHARLES 0156 I am heartily glad I came hither to you. If he
0158 he go alone again, I’ll never wrestle for prize more.
0159 And so God keep your Worship.
⌜OLIVER⌝ 0160 160Farewell, good Charles.⌜Charles⌝ exits.
0161 Now will I stir this gamester. I hope I shall see an
0162 end of him, for my soul—yet I know not why—
0163 hates nothing more than he. Yet he’s gentle, never
0164 schooled and yet learned, full of noble device, of all
0165 165 sorts enchantingly beloved, and indeed so much in
0166 the heart of the world, and especially of my own
0167 people, who best know him, that I am altogether
0168 misprized. But it shall not be so long; this wrestler
0169 shall clear all. Nothing remains but that I kindle the
0170 170 boy thither, which now I’ll go about.
CELIA 0171 I pray thee, Rosalind, sweet my coz, be merry.
ROSALIND 0172 Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am
0173 mistress of, and would you yet ⌜I⌝ were merrier?
0174 Unless you could teach me to forget a banished
0175 5 father, you must not learn me how to remember
0176 any extraordinary pleasure.
CELIA 0177 Herein I see thou lov’st me not with the full
0178 weight that I love thee. If my uncle, thy banished
0179 father, had banished thy uncle, the Duke my father,
0180 10 so thou hadst been still with me, I could have taught
0181 my love to take thy father for mine. So wouldst thou,
0182 if the truth of thy love to me were so righteously
0183 tempered as mine is to thee.
ROSALIND 0184 Well, I will forget the condition of my estate
0185 15 to rejoice in yours.
0187 none is like to have; and truly, when he dies, thou
0188 shalt be his heir, for what he hath taken away from
0189 thy father perforce, I will render thee again in
0190 20 affection. By mine honor I will, and when I break
0191 that oath, let me turn monster. Therefore, my sweet
0192 Rose, my dear Rose, be merry.
ROSALIND 0193 From henceforth I will, coz, and devise
0194 sports. Let me see—what think you of falling in
0195 25 love?
CELIA 0196 Marry, I prithee do, to make sport withal; but
0197 love no man in good earnest, nor no further in
0198 sport neither than with safety of a pure blush thou
0199 mayst in honor come off again.
ROSALIND 0200 30What shall be our sport, then?
CELIA 0201 Let us sit and mock the good housewife Fortune
0202 from her wheel, that her gifts may henceforth be
0203 bestowed equally.
ROSALIND 0204 I would we could do so, for her benefits are
0205 35 mightily misplaced, and the bountiful blind woman
0206 doth most mistake in her gifts to women.
CELIA 0207 ’Tis true, for those that she makes fair she scarce
0208 makes honest, and those that she makes honest she
0209 makes very ill-favoredly.
ROSALIND 0210 40Nay, now thou goest from Fortune’s office to
0211 Nature’s. Fortune reigns in gifts of the world, not in
0212 the lineaments of nature.
CELIA 0213 No? When Nature hath made a fair creature,
0214 may she not by fortune fall into the fire?
0215 45 Though Nature hath given us wit to flout at Fortune,
0216 hath not Fortune sent in this fool to cut off the
0219 when Fortune makes Nature’s natural the
0220 50 cutter-off of Nature’s wit.
CELIA 0221 Peradventure this is not Fortune’s work neither,
0222 but Nature’s, who perceiveth our natural wits too
0223 dull to reason of such goddesses, ⌜and⌝ hath sent
0224 this natural for our whetstone, for always the dullness
0225 55 of the fool is the whetstone of the wits. ⌜To
Touchstone.⌝ 0226 How now, wit, whither wander you?
TOUCHSTONE 0227 Mistress, you must come away to your
CELIA 0229 Were you made the messenger?
TOUCHSTONE 0230 60No, by mine honor, but I was bid to come
0231 for you.
ROSALIND 0232 Where learned you that oath, fool?
TOUCHSTONE 0233 Of a certain knight that swore by his
0234 honor they were good pancakes, and swore by his
0235 65 honor the mustard was naught. Now, I’ll stand to it,
0236 the pancakes were naught and the mustard was
0237 good, and yet was not the knight forsworn.
CELIA 0238 How prove you that in the great heap of your
ROSALIND 0240 70Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.
TOUCHSTONE 0241 Stand you both forth now: stroke your
0242 chins, and swear by your beards that I am a knave.
CELIA 0243 By our beards (if we had them), thou art.
TOUCHSTONE 0244 By my knavery (if I had it), then I were.
0245 75 But if you swear by that that is not, you are not
0246 forsworn. No more was this knight swearing by his
0247 honor, for he never had any, or if he had, he had
0248 sworn it away before ever he saw those pancakes or
0249 that mustard.
CELIA 0250 80Prithee, who is ’t that thou mean’st?
TOUCHSTONE 0251 One that old Frederick, your father, loves.
⌜CELIA⌝ 0252 My father’s love is enough to honor him.
0254 for taxation one of these days.
TOUCHSTONE 0255 85The more pity that fools may not speak
0256 wisely what wise men do foolishly.
CELIA 0257 By my troth, thou sayest true. For, since the little
0258 wit that fools have was silenced, the little foolery
0259 that wise men have makes a great show. Here
0260 90 comes Monsieur ⌜Le⌝ Beau.
Enter Le Beau.
ROSALIND 0261 With his mouth full of news.
CELIA 0262 Which he will put on us as pigeons feed their
ROSALIND 0264 Then shall we be news-crammed.
CELIA 0265 95All the better. We shall be the more
0266 marketable.—Bonjour, Monsieur Le Beau. What’s
0267 the news?
LE BEAU 0268 Fair princess, you have lost much good sport.
CELIA 0269 Sport? Of what color?
LE BEAU 0270 100What color, madam? How shall I answer you?
ROSALIND 0271 As wit and fortune will.
TOUCHSTONE 0272 Or as the destinies decrees.
CELIA 0273 Well said. That was laid on with a trowel.
TOUCHSTONE 0274 Nay, if I keep not my rank—
ROSALIND 0275 105Thou losest thy old smell.
LE BEAU 0276 You amaze me, ladies. I would have told you of
0277 good wrestling, which you have lost the sight of.
ROSALIND 0278 Yet tell us the manner of the wrestling.
LE BEAU 0279 I will tell you the beginning, and if it please
0280 110 your Ladyships, you may see the end, for the best is
0281 yet to do, and here, where you are, they are coming
0282 to perform it.
CELIA 0283 Well, the beginning that is dead and buried.
LE BEAU 0284 There comes an old man and his three sons—
CELIA 0285 115I could match this beginning with an old tale.
0287 and presence.
ROSALIND 0288 With bills on their necks: “Be it known unto
0289 all men by these presents.”
LE BEAU 0290 120The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles,
0291 the Duke’s wrestler, which Charles in a moment
0292 threw him and broke three of his ribs, that there is
0293 little hope of life in him. So he served the second,
0294 and so the third. Yonder they lie, the poor old man
0295 125 their father making such pitiful dole over them that
0296 all the beholders take his part with weeping.
ROSALIND 0297 Alas!
TOUCHSTONE 0298 But what is the sport, monsieur, that the
0299 ladies have lost?
LE BEAU 0300 130Why, this that I speak of.
TOUCHSTONE 0301 Thus men may grow wiser every day. It is
0302 the first time that ever I heard breaking of ribs was
0303 sport for ladies.
CELIA 0304 Or I, I promise thee.
ROSALIND 0305 135But is there any else longs to see this broken
0306 music in his sides? Is there yet another dotes upon
0307 rib-breaking? Shall we see this wrestling, cousin?
LE BEAU 0308 You must if you stay here, for here is the place
0309 appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to
0310 140 perform it.
CELIA 0311 Yonder sure they are coming. Let us now stay
0312 and see it.
Flourish. Enter Duke ⌜Frederick,⌝ Lords, Orlando,
Charles, and Attendants.
DUKE FREDERICK 0313 Come on. Since the youth will not be
0314 entreated, his own peril on his forwardness.
ROSALIND, ⌜to Le Beau⌝ 0315 145Is yonder the man?
LE BEAU 0316 Even he, madam.
CELIA 0317 Alas, he is too young. Yet he looks successfully.
0319 you crept hither to see the wrestling?
ROSALIND 0320 150Ay, my liege, so please you give us leave.
DUKE FREDERICK 0321 You will take little delight in it, I can
0322 tell you, there is such odds in the man. In pity of the
0323 challenger’s youth, I would fain dissuade him, but
0324 he will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies; see if
0325 155 you can move him.
CELIA 0326 Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.
DUKE FREDERICK 0327 Do so. I’ll not be by.
⌜He steps aside.⌝
LE BEAU, ⌜to Orlando⌝ 0328 Monsieur the challenger, the
0329 Princess calls for you.
ORLANDO 0330 160I attend them with all respect and duty.
ROSALIND 0331 Young man, have you challenged Charles the
ORLANDO 0333 No, fair princess. He is the general challenger.
0334 I come but in as others do, to try with him the
0335 165 strength of my youth.
CELIA 0336 Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for
0337 your years. You have seen cruel proof of this man’s
0338 strength. If you saw yourself with your eyes or knew
0339 yourself with your judgment, the fear of your adventure
0340 170 would counsel you to a more equal enterprise.
0341 We pray you for your own sake to embrace your
0342 own safety and give over this attempt.
ROSALIND 0343 Do, young sir. Your reputation shall not
0344 therefore be misprized. We will make it our suit to
0345 175 the Duke that the wrestling might not go forward.
ORLANDO 0346 I beseech you, punish me not with your hard
0347 thoughts, wherein I confess me much guilty to deny
0348 so fair and excellent ladies anything. But let your
0349 fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my trial,
0350 180 wherein, if I be foiled, there is but one shamed that
0351 was never gracious; if killed, but one dead that is
0352 willing to be so. I shall do my friends no wrong, for
0354 in it I have nothing. Only in the world I fill up a
0355 185 place which may be better supplied when I have
0356 made it empty.
ROSALIND 0357 The little strength that I have, I would it
0358 were with you.
CELIA 0359 And mine, to eke out hers.
ROSALIND 0360 190Fare you well. Pray heaven I be deceived in
CELIA 0362 Your heart’s desires be with you.
CHARLES 0363 Come, where is this young gallant that is so
0364 desirous to lie with his mother Earth?
ORLANDO 0365 195Ready, sir; but his will hath in it a more
0366 modest working.
DUKE FREDERICK, ⌜coming forward⌝ 0367 You shall try but
0368 one fall.
CHARLES 0369 No, I warrant your Grace you shall not entreat
0370 200 him to a second, that have so mightily persuaded
0371 him from a first.
ORLANDO 0372 You mean to mock me after, you should not
0373 have mocked me before. But come your ways.
ROSALIND 0374 Now Hercules be thy speed, young man!
CELIA 0375 205I would I were invisible, to catch the strong
0376 fellow by the leg.
⌜Orlando and Charles⌝ wrestle.
ROSALIND 0377 O excellent young man!
CELIA 0378 If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who
0379 should down.
⌜Orlando throws Charles.⌝ Shout.
DUKE FREDERICK 0380 210No more, no more.
ORLANDO 0381 Yes, I beseech your Grace. I am not yet well
DUKE FREDERICK 0383 How dost thou, Charles?
LE BEAU 0384 He cannot speak, my lord.
DUKE FREDERICK 0385 215Bear him away.
⌜Charles is carried off by Attendants.⌝
0386 What is thy name, young man?
0388 Rowland de Boys.
0389 I would thou hadst been son to some man else.
0390 220 The world esteemed thy father honorable,
0391 But I did find him still mine enemy.
0392 Thou shouldst have better pleased me with this
0394 Hadst thou descended from another house.
0395 225 But fare thee well. Thou art a gallant youth.
0396 I would thou hadst told me of another father.
Duke exits ⌜with Touchstone, Le Beau,
Lords, and Attendants.⌝
CELIA, ⌜to Rosalind⌝
0397 Were I my father, coz, would I do this?
0398 I am more proud to be Sir Rowland’s son,
0399 His youngest son, and would not change that calling
0400 230 To be adopted heir to Frederick.
ROSALIND, ⌜to Celia⌝
0401 My father loved Sir Rowland as his soul,
0402 And all the world was of my father’s mind.
0403 Had I before known this young man his son,
0404 I should have given him tears unto entreaties
0405 235 Ere he should thus have ventured.
CELIA 0406 Gentle cousin,
0407 Let us go thank him and encourage him.
0408 My father’s rough and envious disposition
0409 Sticks me at heart.—Sir, you have well deserved.
0410 240 If you do keep your promises in love
0411 But justly, as you have exceeded all promise,
0412 Your mistress shall be happy.
ROSALIND, ⌜giving Orlando a chain from her neck⌝
0414 Wear this for me—one out of suits with Fortune,
0417 Shall we go, coz?
CELIA 0418 Ay.—Fare you well, fair gentleman.
0419 Can I not say “I thank you”? My better parts
0420 250 Are all thrown down, and that which here stands up
0421 Is but a quintain, a mere lifeless block.
ROSALIND, ⌜to Celia⌝
0422 He calls us back. My pride fell with my fortunes.
0423 I’ll ask him what he would.—Did you call, sir?
0424 Sir, you have wrestled well and overthrown
0425 255 More than your enemies.
CELIA 0426 Will you go, coz?
ROSALIND 0427 Have with you. ⌜To Orlando.⌝ Fare you well.
⌜Rosalind and Celia⌝ exit.
0428 What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?
0429 I cannot speak to her, yet she urged conference.
0430 260 O poor Orlando! Thou art overthrown.
0431 Or Charles or something weaker masters thee.
Enter Le Beau.
0432 Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you
0433 To leave this place. Albeit you have deserved
0434 High commendation, true applause, and love,
0435 265 Yet such is now the Duke’s condition
0436 That he misconsters all that you have done.
0437 The Duke is humorous. What he is indeed
0438 More suits you to conceive than I to speak of.
0439 I thank you, sir, and pray you tell me this:
0440 270 Which of the two was daughter of the duke
0441 That here was at the wrestling?
0442 Neither his daughter, if we judge by manners,
0443 But yet indeed the ⌜smaller⌝ is his daughter.
0444 The other is daughter to the banished duke,
0445 275 And here detained by her usurping uncle
0446 To keep his daughter company, whose loves
0447 Are dearer than the natural bond of sisters.
0448 But I can tell you that of late this duke
0449 Hath ta’en displeasure ’gainst his gentle niece,
0450 280 Grounded upon no other argument
0451 But that the people praise her for her virtues
0452 And pity her for her good father’s sake;
0453 And, on my life, his malice ’gainst the lady
0454 Will suddenly break forth. Sir, fare you well.
0455 285 Hereafter, in a better world than this,
0456 I shall desire more love and knowledge of you.
0457 I rest much bounden to you. Fare you well.
⌜Le Beau exits.⌝
0458 Thus must I from the smoke into the smother,
0459 From tyrant duke unto a tyrant brother.
0460 290 But heavenly Rosalind!
CELIA 0461 Why, cousin! Why, Rosalind! Cupid have mercy,
0462 not a word?
ROSALIND 0463 Not one to throw at a dog.
CELIA 0464 No, thy words are too precious to be cast away
0465 5 upon curs. Throw some of them at me. Come, lame
0466 me with reasons.
ROSALIND 0467 Then there were two cousins laid up, when
0468 the one should be lamed with reasons, and the
0469 other mad without any.
ROSALIND 0471 No, some of it is for my child’s father. O,
0472 how full of briers is this working-day world!
CELIA 0473 They are but burs, cousin, thrown upon thee in
0474 holiday foolery. If we walk not in the trodden paths,
0475 15 our very petticoats will catch them.
ROSALIND 0476 I could shake them off my coat. These burs
0477 are in my heart.
CELIA 0478 Hem them away.
ROSALIND 0479 I would try, if I could cry “hem” and have
0480 20 him.
CELIA 0481 Come, come, wrestle with thy affections.
ROSALIND 0482 O, they take the part of a better wrestler
0483 than myself.
CELIA 0484 O, a good wish upon you. You will try in time, in
0485 25 despite of a fall. But turning these jests out of
0486 service, let us talk in good earnest. Is it possible on
0487 such a sudden you should fall into so strong a liking
0488 with old Sir Rowland’s youngest son?
ROSALIND 0489 The Duke my father loved his father dearly.
CELIA 0490 30Doth it therefore ensue that you should love his
0491 son dearly? By this kind of chase I should hate him,
0492 for my father hated his father dearly. Yet I hate not
ROSALIND 0494 No, faith, hate him not, for my sake.
CELIA 0495 35Why should I not? Doth he not deserve well?
ROSALIND 0496 Let me love him for that, and do you love
0497 him because I do.
Enter Duke ⌜Frederick⌝ with Lords.
0498 Look, here comes the Duke.
CELIA 0499 With his eyes full of anger.
DUKE FREDERICK, ⌜to Rosalind⌝
0500 40 Mistress, dispatch you with your safest haste,
0501 And get you from our court.
ROSALIND 0502 Me, uncle?
0504 Within these ten days if that thou beest found
0505 45 So near our public court as twenty miles,
0506 Thou diest for it.
ROSALIND 0507 I do beseech your Grace,
0508 Let me the knowledge of my fault bear with me.
0509 If with myself I hold intelligence
0510 50 Or have acquaintance with mine own desires,
0511 If that I do not dream or be not frantic—
0512 As I do trust I am not—then, dear uncle,
0513 Never so much as in a thought unborn
0514 Did I offend your Highness.
DUKE FREDERICK 0515 55 Thus do all traitors.
0516 If their purgation did consist in words,
0517 They are as innocent as grace itself.
0518 Let it suffice thee that I trust thee not.
0519 Yet your mistrust cannot make me a traitor.
0520 60 Tell me whereon the ⌜likelihood⌝ depends.
0521 Thou art thy father’s daughter. There’s enough.
0522 So was I when your Highness took his dukedom.
0523 So was I when your Highness banished him.
0524 Treason is not inherited, my lord,
0525 65 Or if we did derive it from our friends,
0526 What’s that to me? My father was no traitor.
0527 Then, good my liege, mistake me not so much
0528 To think my poverty is treacherous.
CELIA 0529 Dear sovereign, hear me speak.
0530 70 Ay, Celia, we stayed her for your sake;
0531 Else had she with her father ranged along.
0532 I did not then entreat to have her stay.
0533 It was your pleasure and your own remorse.
0535 75 But now I know her. If she be a traitor,
0536 Why, so am I. We still have slept together,
0537 Rose at an instant, learned, played, eat together,
0538 And, wheresoe’er we went, like Juno’s swans
0539 Still we went coupled and inseparable.
0540 80 She is too subtle for thee, and her smoothness,
0541 Her very silence, and her patience
0542 Speak to the people, and they pity her.
0543 Thou art a fool. She robs thee of thy name,
0544 And thou wilt show more bright and seem more
0545 85 virtuous
0546 When she is gone. Then open not thy lips.
0547 Firm and irrevocable is my doom
0548 Which I have passed upon her. She is banished.
0549 Pronounce that sentence then on me, my liege.
0550 90 I cannot live out of her company.
0551 You are a fool.—You, niece, provide yourself.
0552 If you outstay the time, upon mine honor
0553 And in the greatness of my word, you die.
Duke ⌜and Lords⌝ exit.
0554 O my poor Rosalind, whither wilt thou go?
0555 95 Wilt thou change fathers? I will give thee mine.
0556 I charge thee, be not thou more grieved than I am.
ROSALIND 0557 I have more cause.
CELIA 0558 Thou hast not, cousin.
0559 Prithee, be cheerful. Know’st thou not the Duke
0560 100 Hath banished me, his daughter?
ROSALIND 0561 That he hath not.
0562 No, hath not? Rosalind lacks then the love
0563 Which teacheth thee that thou and I am one.
0565 105 No, let my father seek another heir.
0566 Therefore devise with me how we may fly,
0567 Whither to go, and what to bear with us,
0568 And do not seek to take your change upon you,
0569 To bear your griefs yourself and leave me out.
0570 110 For, by this heaven, now at our sorrows pale,
0571 Say what thou canst, I’ll go along with thee.
ROSALIND 0572 Why, whither shall we go?
0573 To seek my uncle in the Forest of Arden.
0574 Alas, what danger will it be to us,
0575 115 Maids as we are, to travel forth so far?
0576 Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.
0577 I’ll put myself in poor and mean attire,
0578 And with a kind of umber smirch my face.
0579 The like do you. So shall we pass along
0580 120 And never stir assailants.
ROSALIND 0581 Were it not better,
0582 Because that I am more than common tall,
0583 That I did suit me all points like a man?
0584 A gallant curtal-ax upon my thigh,
0585 125 A boar-spear in my hand, and in my heart
0586 Lie there what hidden woman’s fear there will,
0587 We’ll have a swashing and a martial outside—
0588 As many other mannish cowards have
0589 That do outface it with their semblances.
0590 130 What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
0591 I’ll have no worse a name than Jove’s own page,
0592 And therefore look you call me Ganymede.
0593 But what will you ⌜be⌝ called?
0594 Something that hath a reference to my state:
0595 135 No longer Celia, but Aliena.
0596 But, cousin, what if we assayed to steal
0597 The clownish fool out of your father’s court?
0598 Would he not be a comfort to our travel?
0599 He’ll go along o’er the wide world with me.
0600 140 Leave me alone to woo him. Let’s away
0601 And get our jewels and our wealth together,
0602 Devise the fittest time and safest way
0603 To hide us from pursuit that will be made
0604 After my flight. Now go ⌜we in⌝ content
0605 145 To liberty, and not to banishment.
0606 Now, my co-mates and brothers in exile,
0607 Hath not old custom made this life more sweet
0608 Than that of painted pomp? Are not these woods
0609 More free from peril than the envious court?
0610 5 Here feel we not the penalty of Adam,
0611 The seasons’ difference, as the icy fang
0612 And churlish chiding of the winter’s wind,
0613 Which when it bites and blows upon my body
0614 Even till I shrink with cold, I smile and say
0615 10 “This is no flattery. These are counselors
0616 That feelingly persuade me what I am.”
0617 Sweet are the uses of adversity,
0618 Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
0619 Wears yet a precious jewel in his head.
0620 15 And this our life, exempt from public haunt,
0621 Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
0622 Sermons in stones, and good in everything.
0623 I would not change it. Happy is your Grace,
0624 That can translate the stubbornness of fortune
0625 20 Into so quiet and so sweet a style.
0626 Come, shall we go and kill us venison?
0627 And yet it irks me the poor dappled fools,
0628 Being native burghers of this desert city,
0629 Should in their own confines with forkèd heads
0630 25 Have their round haunches gored.
FIRST LORD 0631 Indeed, my lord,
0632 The melancholy Jaques grieves at that,
0633 And in that kind swears you do more usurp
0634 Than doth your brother that hath banished you.
0635 30 Today my Lord of Amiens and myself
0636 Did steal behind him as he lay along
0637 Under an oak, whose antique root peeps out
0638 Upon the brook that brawls along this wood;
0639 To the which place a poor sequestered stag
0640 35 That from the hunter’s aim had ta’en a hurt
0641 Did come to languish. And indeed, my lord,
0642 The wretched animal heaved forth such groans
0643 That their discharge did stretch his leathern coat
0644 Almost to bursting, and the big round tears
0645 40 Coursed one another down his innocent nose
0646 In piteous chase. And thus the hairy fool,
0647 Much markèd of the melancholy Jaques,
0648 Stood on th’ extremest verge of the swift brook,
0649 Augmenting it with tears.
DUKE SENIOR 0650 45 But what said Jaques?
0651 Did he not moralize this spectacle?
0652 O yes, into a thousand similes.
0653 First, for his weeping into the needless stream:
0654 “Poor deer,” quoth he, “thou mak’st a testament
0655 50 As worldlings do, giving thy sum of more
0656 To that which had too ⌜much.⌝” Then, being there
0658 Left and abandoned of his velvet ⌜friends:⌝
0659 “’Tis right,” quoth he. “Thus misery doth part
0661 Full of the pasture, jumps along by him
0662 And never stays to greet him. “Ay,” quoth Jaques,
0663 “Sweep on, you fat and greasy citizens.
0664 ’Tis just the fashion. Wherefore do you look
0665 60 Upon that poor and broken bankrupt there?”
0666 Thus most invectively he pierceth through
0667 The body of country, city, court,
0668 Yea, and of this our life, swearing that we
0669 Are mere usurpers, tyrants, and what’s worse,
0670 65 To fright the animals and to kill them up
0671 In their assigned and native dwelling place.
0672 And did you leave him in this contemplation?
0673 We did, my lord, weeping and commenting
0674 Upon the sobbing deer.
DUKE SENIOR 0675 70 Show me the place.
0676 I love to cope him in these sullen fits,
0677 For then he’s full of matter.
FIRST LORD 0678 I’ll bring you to him straight.
0679 Can it be possible that no man saw them?
0680 It cannot be. Some villains of my court
0681 Are of consent and sufferance in this.
0682 I cannot hear of any that did see her.
0683 5 The ladies her attendants of her chamber
0684 Saw her abed, and in the morning early
0685 They found the bed untreasured of their mistress.
0686 My lord, the roinish clown at whom so oft
0687 Your Grace was wont to laugh is also missing.
0688 10 Hisperia, the Princess’ gentlewoman,
0689 Confesses that she secretly o’erheard
0690 Your daughter and her cousin much commend
0691 The parts and graces of the wrestler
0692 That did but lately foil the sinewy Charles,
0693 15 And she believes wherever they are gone
0694 That youth is surely in their company.
0695 Send to his brother. Fetch that gallant hither.
0696 If he be absent, bring his brother to me.
0697 I’ll make him find him. Do this suddenly,
0698 20 And let not search and inquisition quail
0699 To bring again these foolish runaways.
ORLANDO 0700 Who’s there?
0701 What, my young master, O my gentle master,
0702 O my sweet master, O you memory
0703 Of old Sir Rowland! Why, what make you here?
0704 5 Why are you virtuous? Why do people love you?
0705 And wherefore are you gentle, strong, and valiant?
0706 Why would you be so fond to overcome
0707 The bonny prizer of the humorous duke?
0708 Your praise is come too swiftly home before you.
0709 10 Know you not, master, to ⌜some⌝ kind of men
0710 Their graces serve them but as enemies?
0711 No more do yours. Your virtues, gentle master,
0712 Are sanctified and holy traitors to you.
0714 15 Envenoms him that bears it!
⌜ORLANDO⌝ 0715 Why, what’s the matter?
ADAM 0716 O unhappy youth,
0717 Come not within these doors. Within this roof
0718 The enemy of all your graces lives.
0719 20 Your brother—no, no brother—yet the son—
0720 Yet not the son, I will not call him son—
0721 Of him I was about to call his father,
0722 Hath heard your praises, and this night he means
0723 To burn the lodging where you use to lie,
0724 25 And you within it. If he fail of that,
0725 He will have other means to cut you off.
0726 I overheard him and his practices.
0727 This is no place, this house is but a butchery.
0728 Abhor it, fear it, do not enter it.
0729 30 Why, whither, Adam, wouldst thou have me go?
0730 No matter whither, so you come not here.
0731 What, wouldst thou have me go and beg my food,
0732 Or with a base and boist’rous sword enforce
0733 A thievish living on the common road?
0734 35 This I must do, or know not what to do;
0735 Yet this I will not do, do how I can.
0736 I rather will subject me to the malice
0737 Of a diverted blood and bloody brother.
0738 But do not so. I have five hundred crowns,
0739 40 The thrifty hire I saved under your father,
0740 Which I did store to be my foster nurse
0741 When service should in my old limbs lie lame,
0742 And unregarded age in corners thrown.
0743 Take that, and He that doth the ravens feed,
0744 45 Yea, providently caters for the sparrow,
0746 All this I give you. Let me be your servant.
0747 Though I look old, yet I am strong and lusty,
0748 For in my youth I never did apply
0749 50 Hot and rebellious liquors in my blood,
0750 Nor did not with unbashful forehead woo
0751 The means of weakness and debility.
0752 Therefore my age is as a lusty winter,
0753 Frosty but kindly. Let me go with you.
0754 55 I’ll do the service of a younger man
0755 In all your business and necessities.
0756 O good old man, how well in thee appears
0757 The constant service of the antique world,
0758 When service sweat for duty, not for meed.
0759 60 Thou art not for the fashion of these times,
0760 Where none will sweat but for promotion,
0761 And having that do choke their service up
0762 Even with the having. It is not so with thee.
0763 But, poor old man, thou prun’st a rotten tree
0764 65 That cannot so much as a blossom yield
0765 In lieu of all thy pains and husbandry.
0766 But come thy ways. We’ll go along together,
0767 And ere we have thy youthful wages spent,
0768 We’ll light upon some settled low content.
0769 70 Master, go on, and I will follow thee
0770 To the last gasp with truth and loyalty.
0771 From ⌜seventeen⌝ years till now almost fourscore
0772 Here livèd I, but now live here no more.
0773 At seventeen years, many their fortunes seek,
0774 75 But at fourscore, it is too late a week.
0775 Yet fortune cannot recompense me better
0776 Than to die well, and not my master’s debtor.
Clown, alias Touchstone.
0777 O Jupiter, how ⌜weary⌝ are my spirits!
TOUCHSTONE 0778 I care not for my spirits, if my legs were
0779 not weary.
ROSALIND 0780 I could find in my heart to disgrace my
0781 5 man’s apparel and to cry like a woman, but I must
0782 comfort the weaker vessel, as doublet and hose
0783 ought to show itself courageous to petticoat. Therefore
0784 courage, good Aliena.
CELIA 0785 I pray you bear with me. I cannot go no further.
TOUCHSTONE 0786 10For my part, I had rather bear with you
0787 than bear you. Yet I should bear no cross if I did
0788 bear you, for I think you have no money in your
ROSALIND 0790 Well, this is the Forest of Arden.
TOUCHSTONE 0791 15Ay, now am I in Arden, the more fool I.
0792 When I was at home I was in a better place, but
0793 travelers must be content.
ROSALIND 0794 Ay, be so, good Touchstone.
Enter Corin and Silvius.
0795 Look you who comes here, a young man and an old
0796 20 in solemn talk.
⌜Rosalind, Celia, and Touchstone step aside and
CORIN, ⌜to Silvius⌝
0797 That is the way to make her scorn you still.
0798 O Corin, that thou knew’st how I do love her!
0799 I partly guess, for I have loved ere now.
0800 No, Corin, being old, thou canst not guess,
0801 25 Though in thy youth thou wast as true a lover
0802 As ever sighed upon a midnight pillow.
0803 But if thy love were ever like to mine—
0804 As sure I think did never man love so—
0805 How many actions most ridiculous
0806 30 Hast thou been drawn to by thy fantasy?
0807 Into a thousand that I have forgotten.
0808 O, thou didst then never love so heartily.
0809 If thou rememb’rest not the slightest folly
0810 That ever love did make thee run into,
0811 35 Thou hast not loved.
0812 Or if thou hast not sat as I do now,
0813 Wearing thy hearer in thy mistress’ praise,
0814 Thou hast not loved.
0815 Or if thou hast not broke from company
0816 40 Abruptly, as my passion now makes me,
0817 Thou hast not loved.
0818 O Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe!He exits.
0819 Alas, poor shepherd, searching of ⌜thy wound,⌝
0820 I have by hard adventure found mine own.
TOUCHSTONE 0821 45And I mine. I remember when I was in
0822 love I broke my sword upon a stone and bid him
0823 take that for coming a-night to Jane Smile; and I
0824 remember the kissing of her batler, and the cow’s
0825 dugs that her pretty chopped hands had milked;
0826 50 and I remember the wooing of a peascod instead of
0827 her, from whom I took two cods and, giving her
0828 them again, said with weeping tears “Wear these for
0829 my sake.” We that are true lovers run into strange
0830 capers. But as all is mortal in nature, so is all nature
0831 55 in love mortal in folly.
TOUCHSTONE 0833 Nay, I shall ne’er be ware of mine own
0834 wit till I break my shins against it.
0835 Jove, Jove, this shepherd’s passion
0836 60 Is much upon my fashion.
TOUCHSTONE 0837 And mine, but it grows something stale
0838 with me.
CELIA 0839 I pray you, one of you question yond man, if he
0840 for gold will give us any food. I faint almost to death.
TOUCHSTONE, ⌜to Corin⌝ 0841 65Holla, you clown!
ROSALIND 0842 Peace, fool. He’s not thy kinsman.
CORIN 0843 Who calls?
TOUCHSTONE 0844 Your betters, sir.
CORIN 0845 Else are they very wretched.
ROSALIND, ⌜to Touchstone⌝
0846 70 Peace, I say. ⌜As Ganymede, to Corin.⌝ Good even to
0847 ⌜you,⌝ friend.
0848 And to you, gentle sir, and to you all.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
0849 I prithee, shepherd, if that love or gold
0850 Can in this desert place buy entertainment,
0851 75 Bring us where we may rest ourselves and feed.
0852 Here’s a young maid with travel much oppressed,
0853 And faints for succor.
CORIN 0854 Fair sir, I pity her
0855 And wish for her sake more than for mine own
0856 80 My fortunes were more able to relieve her.
0857 But I am shepherd to another man
0858 And do not shear the fleeces that I graze.
0859 My master is of churlish disposition
0860 And little recks to find the way to heaven
0861 85 By doing deeds of hospitality.
0862 Besides, his cote, his flocks, and bounds of feed
0863 Are now on sale, and at our sheepcote now,
0865 That you will feed on. But what is, come see,
0866 90 And in my voice most welcome shall you be.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
0867 What is he that shall buy his flock and pasture?
0868 That young swain that you saw here but erewhile,
0869 That little cares for buying anything.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
0870 I pray thee, if it stand with honesty,
0871 95 Buy thou the cottage, pasture, and the flock,
0872 And thou shalt have to pay for it of us.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝
0873 And we will mend thy wages. I like this place,
0874 And willingly could waste my time in it.
0875 Assuredly the thing is to be sold.
0876 100 Go with me. If you like upon report
0877 The soil, the profit, and this kind of life,
0878 I will your very faithful feeder be
0879 And buy it with your gold right suddenly.
0880 Under the greenwood tree
0881 Who loves to lie with me
0882 And turn his merry note
0883 Unto the sweet bird’s throat,
0884 5 Come hither, come hither, come hither.
0885 Here shall he see
0886 No enemy
0887 But winter and rough weather.
JAQUES 0888 More, more, I prithee, more.
JAQUES 0891 I thank it. More, I prithee, more. I can suck
0892 melancholy out of a song as a weasel sucks eggs.
0893 More, I prithee, more.
AMIENS 0894 15My voice is ragged. I know I cannot please you.
JAQUES 0895 I do not desire you to please me. I do desire
0896 you to sing. Come, more, another stanzo. Call you
0897 ’em “stanzos”?
AMIENS 0898 What you will, Monsieur Jaques.
JAQUES 0899 20Nay, I care not for their names. They owe me
0900 nothing. Will you sing?
AMIENS 0901 More at your request than to please myself.
JAQUES 0902 Well then, if ever I thank any man, I’ll thank
0903 you. But that they call “compliment” is like th’
0904 25 encounter of two dog-apes. And when a man thanks
0905 me heartily, methinks I have given him a penny and
0906 he renders me the beggarly thanks. Come, sing. And
0907 you that will not, hold your tongues.
AMIENS 0908 Well, I’ll end the song.—Sirs, cover the while;
0909 30 the Duke will drink under this tree.—He hath been
0910 all this day to look you.
JAQUES 0911 And I have been all this day to avoid him. He is
0912 too disputable for my company. I think of as many
0913 matters as he, but I give heaven thanks and make no
0914 35 boast of them. Come, warble, come.
ALL together here.
0915 Who doth ambition shun
0916 And loves to live i’ th’ sun,
0917 Seeking the food he eats
0918 And pleased with what he gets,
0919 40 Come hither, come hither, come hither.
0920 Here shall he see
0921 No enemy
0922 But winter and rough weather.
0924 45 yesterday in despite of my invention.
AMIENS 0925 And I’ll sing it.
⌜JAQUES⌝ 0926 Thus it goes:
0927 If it do come to pass
0928 That any man turn ass,
0929 50 Leaving his wealth and ease
0930 A stubborn will to please,
0931 Ducdame, ducdame, ducdame.
0932 Here shall he see
0933 Gross fools as he,
0934 55 An if he will come to me.
AMIENS 0935 What’s that “ducdame”?
JAQUES 0936 ’Tis a Greek invocation to call fools into a
0937 circle. I’ll go sleep if I can. If I cannot, I’ll rail
0938 against all the first-born of Egypt.
AMIENS 0939 60And I’ll go seek the Duke. His banquet is
ADAM 0941 Dear master, I can go no further. O, I die for
0942 food. Here lie I down and measure out my grave.
0943 Farewell, kind master.⌜He lies down.⌝
ORLANDO 0944 Why, how now, Adam? No greater heart in
0945 5 thee? Live a little, comfort a little, cheer thyself a
0946 little. If this uncouth forest yield anything savage, I
0947 will either be food for it or bring it for food to thee.
0948 Thy conceit is nearer death than thy powers. For my
0949 sake, be comfortable. Hold death awhile at the
0950 10 arm’s end. I will here be with thee presently, and if
0951 I bring thee not something to eat, I will give thee
0952 leave to die. But if thou diest before I come, thou art
0954 cheerly, and I’ll be with thee quickly. Yet thou liest
0955 15 in the bleak air. Come, I will bear thee to some
0956 shelter, and thou shalt not die for lack of a dinner if
0957 there live anything in this desert. Cheerly, good
0959 I think he be transformed into a beast,
0960 For I can nowhere find him like a man.
0961 My lord, he is but even now gone hence.
0962 Here was he merry, hearing of a song.
0963 5 If he, compact of jars, grow musical,
0964 We shall have shortly discord in the spheres.
0965 Go seek him. Tell him I would speak with him.
0966 He saves my labor by his own approach.
DUKE SENIOR, ⌜to Jaques⌝
0967 Why, how now, monsieur? What a life is this
0968 10 That your poor friends must woo your company?
0969 What, you look merrily.
0970 A fool, a fool, I met a fool i’ th’ forest,
0971 A motley fool. A miserable world!
0972 As I do live by food, I met a fool,
0973 15 Who laid him down and basked him in the sun
0974 And railed on Lady Fortune in good terms,
0976 “Good morrow, fool,” quoth I. “No, sir,” quoth he,
0977 “Call me not ‘fool’ till heaven hath sent me
0978 20 fortune.”
0979 And then he drew a dial from his poke
0980 And, looking on it with lack-luster eye,
0981 Says very wisely “It is ten o’clock.
0982 Thus we may see,” quoth he, “how the world wags.
0983 25 ’Tis but an hour ago since it was nine,
0984 And after one hour more ’twill be eleven.
0985 And so from hour to hour we ripe and ripe,
0986 And then from hour to hour we rot and rot,
0987 And thereby hangs a tale.” When I did hear
0988 30 The motley fool thus moral on the time,
0989 My lungs began to crow like chanticleer
0990 That fools should be so deep-contemplative,
0991 And I did laugh sans intermission
0992 An hour by his dial. O noble fool!
0993 35 A worthy fool! Motley’s the only wear.
DUKE SENIOR 0994 What fool is this?
0995 O worthy fool!—One that hath been a courtier,
0996 And says “If ladies be but young and fair,
0997 They have the gift to know it.” And in his brain,
0998 40 Which is as dry as the remainder biscuit
0999 After a voyage, he hath strange places crammed
1000 With observation, the which he vents
1001 In mangled forms. O, that I were a fool!
1002 I am ambitious for a motley coat.
1003 45 Thou shalt have one.
JAQUES 1004 It is my only suit,
1005 Provided that you weed your better judgments
1006 Of all opinion that grows rank in them
1007 That I am wise. I must have liberty
1008 50 Withal, as large a charter as the wind,
1010 And they that are most gallèd with my folly,
1011 They most must laugh. And why, sir, must they so?
1012 The “why” is plain as way to parish church:
1013 55 He that a fool doth very wisely hit
1014 Doth very foolishly, although he smart,
1015 ⌜Not to⌝ seem senseless of the bob. If not,
1016 The wise man’s folly is anatomized
1017 Even by the squand’ring glances of the fool.
1018 60 Invest me in my motley. Give me leave
1019 To speak my mind, and I will through and through
1020 Cleanse the foul body of th’ infected world,
1021 If they will patiently receive my medicine.
1022 Fie on thee! I can tell what thou wouldst do.
1023 65 What, for a counter, would I do but good?
1024 Most mischievous foul sin in chiding ⌜sin;⌝
1025 For thou thyself hast been a libertine,
1026 As sensual as the brutish sting itself,
1027 And all th’ embossèd sores and headed evils
1028 70 That thou with license of free foot hast caught
1029 Wouldst thou disgorge into the general world.
JAQUES 1030 Why, who cries out on pride
1031 That can therein tax any private party?
1032 Doth it not flow as hugely as the sea
1033 75 Till that the weary very means do ebb?
1034 What woman in the city do I name
1035 When that I say the city-woman bears
1036 The cost of princes on unworthy shoulders?
1037 Who can come in and say that I mean her,
1038 80 When such a one as she such is her neighbor?
1039 Or what is he of basest function
1040 That says his bravery is not on my cost,
1041 Thinking that I mean him, but therein suits
1043 85 There then. How then, what then? Let me see
1045 My tongue hath wronged him. If it do him right,
1046 Then he hath wronged himself. If he be free,
1047 Why then my taxing like a wild goose flies
1048 90 Unclaimed of any man.
Enter Orlando, ⌜brandishing a sword.⌝
1049 But who ⌜comes⌝ here?
ORLANDO 1050 Forbear, and eat no more.
JAQUES 1051 Why, I have eat none yet.
1052 Nor shalt not till necessity be served.
JAQUES 1053 95Of what kind should this cock come of?
DUKE SENIOR, ⌜to Orlando⌝
1054 Art thou thus boldened, man, by thy distress,
1055 Or else a rude despiser of good manners,
1056 That in civility thou seem’st so empty?
1057 You touched my vein at first. The thorny point
1058 100 Of bare distress hath ta’en from me the show
1059 Of smooth civility, yet am I inland bred
1060 And know some nurture. But forbear, I say.
1061 He dies that touches any of this fruit
1062 Till I and my affairs are answerèd.
JAQUES 1063 105An you will not be answered with reason, I
1064 must die.
DUKE SENIOR, ⌜to Orlando⌝
1065 What would you have? Your gentleness shall force
1066 More than your force move us to gentleness.
1067 I almost die for food, and let me have it.
1068 110 Sit down and feed, and welcome to our table.
1069 Speak you so gently? Pardon me, I pray you.
1070 I thought that all things had been savage here,
1071 And therefore put I on the countenance
1072 Of stern commandment. But whate’er you are
1073 115 That in this desert inaccessible,
1074 Under the shade of melancholy boughs,
1075 Lose and neglect the creeping hours of time,
1076 If ever you have looked on better days,
1077 If ever been where bells have knolled to church,
1078 120 If ever sat at any good man’s feast,
1079 If ever from your eyelids wiped a tear
1080 And know what ’tis to pity and be pitied,
1081 Let gentleness my strong enforcement be,
1082 In the which hope I blush and hide my sword.
⌜He sheathes his sword.⌝
1083 125 True is it that we have seen better days,
1084 And have with holy bell been knolled to church,
1085 And sat at good men’s feasts and wiped our eyes
1086 Of drops that sacred pity hath engendered.
1087 And therefore sit you down in gentleness,
1088 130 And take upon command what help we have
1089 That to your wanting may be ministered.
1090 Then but forbear your food a little while
1091 Whiles, like a doe, I go to find my fawn
1092 And give it food. There is an old poor man
1093 135 Who after me hath many a weary step
1094 Limped in pure love. Till he be first sufficed,
1095 Oppressed with two weak evils, age and hunger,
1096 I will not touch a bit.
DUKE SENIOR 1097 Go find him out,
1098 140 And we will nothing waste till you return.
1099 I thank you; and be blessed for your good comfort.
1100 Thou seest we are not all alone unhappy.
1101 This wide and universal theater
1102 Presents more woeful pageants than the scene
1103 145 Wherein we play in.
JAQUES 1104 All the world’s a stage,
1105 And all the men and women merely players.
1106 They have their exits and their entrances,
1107 And one man in his time plays many parts,
1108 150 His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
1109 Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
1110 Then the whining schoolboy with his satchel
1111 And shining morning face, creeping like snail
1112 Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
1113 155 Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
1114 Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
1115 Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
1116 Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
1117 Seeking the bubble reputation
1118 160 Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
1119 In fair round belly with good capon lined,
1120 With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
1121 Full of wise saws and modern instances;
1122 And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
1123 165 Into the lean and slippered pantaloon
1124 With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
1125 His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
1126 For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
1127 Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
1128 170 And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
1129 That ends this strange eventful history,
1130 Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
1131 Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
Enter Orlando, ⌜carrying⌝ Adam.
1132 Welcome. Set down your venerable burden,
1133 175 And let him feed.
ORLANDO 1134 I thank you most for him.
ADAM 1135 So had you need.—
1136 I scarce can speak to thank you for myself.
1137 Welcome. Fall to. I will not trouble you
1138 180 As yet to question you about your fortunes.—
1139 Give us some music, and, good cousin, sing.
⌜The Duke and Orlando continue their conversation,
1140 Blow, blow, thou winter wind.
1141 Thou art not so unkind
1142 As man’s ingratitude.
1143 185 Thy tooth is not so keen,
1144 Because thou art not seen,
1145 Although thy breath be rude.
1146 Heigh-ho, sing heigh-ho, unto the green holly.
1147 Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly.
1148 190 ⌜Then⌝ heigh-ho, the holly.
1149 This life is most jolly.
1150 Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,
1151 That dost not bite so nigh
1152 As benefits forgot.
1153 195 Though thou the waters warp,
1154 Thy sting is not so sharp
1155 As friend remembered not.
1156 Heigh-ho, sing heigh-ho, unto the green holly.
1157 Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly.
1158 200 ⌜Then⌝ heigh-ho, the holly.
1159 This life is most jolly.
1160 If that you were the good Sir Rowland’s son,
1161 As you have whispered faithfully you were,
1162 And as mine eye doth his effigies witness
1163 205 Most truly limned and living in your face,
1164 Be truly welcome hither. I am the duke
1165 That loved your father. The residue of your fortune
1166 Go to my cave and tell me.—Good old man,
1167 Thou art right welcome as thy ⌜master⌝ is.
1168 210 ⌜To Lords.⌝ Support him by the arm. ⌜To Orlando.⌝
1169 Give me your hand,
1170 And let me all your fortunes understand.
DUKE FREDERICK, ⌜to Oliver⌝
1171 Not see him since? Sir, sir, that cannot be.
1172 But were I not the better part made mercy,
1173 I should not seek an absent argument
1174 Of my revenge, thou present. But look to it:
1175 5 Find out thy brother wheresoe’er he is.
1176 Seek him with candle. Bring him, dead or living,
1177 Within this twelvemonth, or turn thou no more
1178 To seek a living in our territory.
1179 Thy lands and all things that thou dost call thine,
1180 10 Worth seizure, do we seize into our hands
1181 Till thou canst quit thee by thy brother’s mouth
1182 Of what we think against thee.
1183 O, that your Highness knew my heart in this:
1184 I never loved my brother in my life.
1185 15 More villain thou.—Well, push him out of doors,
1186 And let my officers of such a nature
1187 Make an extent upon his house and lands.
1188 Do this expediently, and turn him going.
1189 Hang there, my verse, in witness of my love.
1190 And thou, thrice-crownèd queen of night, survey
1191 With thy chaste eye, from thy pale sphere above,
1192 Thy huntress’ name that my full life doth sway.
1193 5 O Rosalind, these trees shall be my books,
1194 And in their barks my thoughts I’ll character,
1195 That every eye which in this forest looks
1196 Shall see thy virtue witnessed everywhere.
1197 Run, run, Orlando, carve on every tree
1198 10 The fair, the chaste, and unexpressive she.
Enter Corin and ⌜Touchstone.⌝
CORIN 1199 And how like you this shepherd’s life, Master
TOUCHSTONE 1201 Truly, shepherd, in respect of itself, it is a
1202 good life; but in respect that it is a shepherd’s life, it
1203 15 is naught. In respect that it is solitary, I like it very
1204 well; but in respect that it is private, it is a very vile
1205 life. Now in respect it is in the fields, it pleaseth me
1206 well; but in respect it is not in the court, it is
1207 tedious. As it is a spare life, look you, it fits my
1208 20 humor well; but as there is no more plenty in it, it
1209 goes much against my stomach. Hast any philosophy
1210 in thee, shepherd?
CORIN 1211 No more but that I know the more one sickens,
1212 the worse at ease he is, and that he that wants
1213 25 money, means, and content is without three good
1214 friends; that the property of rain is to wet, and fire
1215 to burn; that good pasture makes fat sheep; and that
1216 a great cause of the night is lack of the sun; that he
1217 that hath learned no wit by nature nor art may
TOUCHSTONE 1220 Such a one is a natural philosopher. Wast
1221 ever in court, shepherd?
CORIN 1222 No, truly.
TOUCHSTONE 1223 35Then thou art damned.
CORIN 1224 Nay, I hope.
TOUCHSTONE 1225 Truly, thou art damned, like an ill-roasted
1226 egg, all on one side.
CORIN 1227 For not being at court? Your reason.
TOUCHSTONE 1228 40Why, if thou never wast at court, thou
1229 never saw’st good manners; if thou never saw’st
1230 good manners, then thy manners must be wicked,
1231 and wickedness is sin, and sin is damnation. Thou
1232 art in a parlous state, shepherd.
CORIN 1233 45Not a whit, Touchstone. Those that are good
1234 manners at the court are as ridiculous in the
1235 country as the behavior of the country is most
1236 mockable at the court. You told me you salute not at
1237 the court but you kiss your hands. That courtesy
1238 50 would be uncleanly if courtiers were shepherds.
TOUCHSTONE 1239 Instance, briefly. Come, instance.
CORIN 1240 Why, we are still handling our ewes, and their
1241 fells, you know, are greasy.
TOUCHSTONE 1242 Why, do not your courtier’s hands sweat?
1243 55 And is not the grease of a mutton as wholesome as
1244 the sweat of a man? Shallow, shallow. A better
1245 instance, I say. Come.
CORIN 1246 Besides, our hands are hard.
TOUCHSTONE 1247 Your lips will feel them the sooner. Shallow
1248 60 again. A more sounder instance. Come.
CORIN 1249 And they are often tarred over with the surgery
1250 of our sheep; and would you have us kiss tar? The
1251 courtier’s hands are perfumed with civet.
TOUCHSTONE 1252 Most shallow man. Thou worms’ meat in
1253 65 respect of a good piece of flesh, indeed. Learn of the
1255 the very uncleanly flux of a cat. Mend the instance,
CORIN 1257 You have too courtly a wit for me. I’ll rest.
TOUCHSTONE 1258 70Wilt thou rest damned? God help thee,
1259 shallow man. God make incision in thee; thou art
CORIN 1261 Sir, I am a true laborer. I earn that I eat, get that
1262 I wear, owe no man hate, envy no man’s happiness,
1263 75 glad of other men’s good, content with my harm,
1264 and the greatest of my pride is to see my ewes graze
1265 and my lambs suck.
TOUCHSTONE 1266 That is another simple sin in you, to bring
1267 the ewes and the rams together and to offer to get
1268 80 your living by the copulation of cattle; to be bawd to
1269 a bell-wether and to betray a she-lamb of a twelvemonth
1270 to a crooked-pated old cuckoldly ram, out of
1271 all reasonable match. If thou be’st not damned for
1272 this, the devil himself will have no shepherds. I
1273 85 cannot see else how thou shouldst ’scape.
Enter Rosalind, ⌜as Ganymede.⌝
CORIN 1274 Here comes young Master Ganymede, my new
1275 mistress’s brother.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede, reading a paper⌝
1276 From the east to western Ind
1277 No jewel is like Rosalind.
1278 90 Her worth being mounted on the wind,
1279 Through all the world bears Rosalind.
1280 All the pictures fairest lined
1281 Are but black to Rosalind.
1282 Let no face be kept in mind
1283 95 But the fair of Rosalind.
TOUCHSTONE 1284 I’ll rhyme you so eight years together,
1285 dinners and suppers and sleeping hours excepted.
1286 It is the right butter-women’s rank to market.
TOUCHSTONE 1288 100For a taste:
1289 If a hart do lack a hind,
1290 Let him seek out Rosalind.
1291 If the cat will after kind,
1292 So be sure will Rosalind.
1293 105 Wintered garments must be lined;
1294 So must slender Rosalind.
1295 They that reap must sheaf and bind;
1296 Then to cart with Rosalind.
1297 Sweetest nut hath sourest rind;
1298 110 Such a nut is Rosalind.
1299 He that sweetest rose will find
1300 Must find love’s prick, and Rosalind.
1301 This is the very false gallop of verses. Why do you
1302 infect yourself with them?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1303 115Peace, you dull fool. I found
1304 them on a tree.
TOUCHSTONE 1305 Truly, the tree yields bad fruit.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1306 I’ll graft it with you, and
1307 then I shall graft it with a medlar. Then it will be
1308 120 the earliest fruit i’ th’ country, for you’ll be rotten
1309 ere you be half ripe, and that’s the right virtue of
1310 the medlar.
TOUCHSTONE 1311 You have said, but whether wisely or no,
1312 let the forest judge.
Enter Celia, ⌜as Aliena,⌝ with a writing.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1313 125Peace. Here comes my sister
1314 reading. Stand aside.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena, reads⌝
1315 Why should this ⌜a⌝ desert be?
1316 For it is unpeopled? No.
1317 Tongues I’ll hang on every tree
1318 130 That shall civil sayings show.
1319 Some how brief the life of man
1320 Runs his erring pilgrimage,
1322 Buckles in his sum of age;
1323 135 Some of violated vows
1324 ’Twixt the souls of friend and friend.
1325 But upon the fairest boughs,
1326 Or at every sentence’ end,
1327 Will I “Rosalinda” write,
1328 140 Teaching all that read to know
1329 The quintessence of every sprite
1330 Heaven would in little show.
1331 Therefore heaven nature charged
1332 That one body should be filled
1333 145 With all graces wide-enlarged.
1334 Nature presently distilled
1335 Helen’s cheek, but not ⌜her⌝ heart,
1336 Cleopatra’s majesty,
1337 Atalanta’s better part,
1338 150 Sad Lucretia’s modesty.
1339 Thus Rosalind of many parts
1340 By heavenly synod was devised
1341 Of many faces, eyes, and hearts
1342 To have the touches dearest prized.
1343 155 Heaven would that she these gifts should have
1344 And I to live and die her slave.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1345 O most gentle Jupiter, what
1346 tedious homily of love have you wearied your parishioners
1347 withal, and never cried “Have patience,
1348 160 good people!”
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝ 1349 How now?—Back, friends. Shepherd,
1350 go off a little.—Go with him, sirrah.
TOUCHSTONE 1351 Come, shepherd, let us make an honorable
1352 retreat, though not with bag and baggage, yet
1353 165 with scrip and scrippage.
⌜Touchstone and Corin⌝ exit.
CELIA 1354 Didst thou hear these verses?
ROSALIND 1355 O yes, I heard them all, and more too, for
1357 would bear.
CELIA 1358 170That’s no matter. The feet might bear the verses.
ROSALIND 1359 Ay, but the feet were lame and could not
1360 bear themselves without the verse, and therefore
1361 stood lamely in the verse.
CELIA 1362 But didst thou hear without wondering how thy
1363 175 name should be hanged and carved upon these
ROSALIND 1365 I was seven of the nine days out of the
1366 wonder before you came, for look here what I
1367 found on a palm tree. ⌜She shows the paper she
read.⌝ 1368 180I was never so berhymed since Pythagoras’
1369 time that I was an Irish rat, which I can hardly
CELIA 1371 Trow you who hath done this?
ROSALIND 1372 Is it a man?
CELIA 1373 185And a chain, that you once wore, about his neck.
1374 Change you color?
ROSALIND 1375 I prithee, who?
CELIA 1376 O Lord, Lord, it is a hard matter for friends to
1377 meet, but mountains may be removed with earthquakes
1378 190 and so encounter.
ROSALIND 1379 Nay, but who is it?
CELIA 1380 Is it possible?
ROSALIND 1381 Nay, I prithee now, with most petitionary
1382 vehemence, tell me who it is.
CELIA 1383 195O wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful
1384 wonderful, and yet again wonderful, and after that
1385 out of all whooping!
ROSALIND 1386 Good my complexion, dost thou think
1387 though I am caparisoned like a man, I have a
1388 200 doublet and hose in my disposition? One inch of
1389 delay more is a South Sea of discovery. I prithee,
1390 tell me who is it quickly, and speak apace. I would
1391 thou couldst stammer, that thou might’st pour this
1393 205 of a narrow-mouthed bottle—either too much at
1394 once, or none at all. I prithee take the cork out of
1395 thy mouth, that I may drink thy tidings.
CELIA 1396 So you may put a man in your belly.
ROSALIND 1397 Is he of God’s making? What manner of
1398 210 man? Is his head worth a hat, or his chin worth a
CELIA 1400 Nay, he hath but a little beard.
ROSALIND 1401 Why, God will send more, if the man will be
1402 thankful. Let me stay the growth of his beard, if
1403 215 thou delay me not the knowledge of his chin.
CELIA 1404 It is young Orlando, that tripped up the wrestler’s
1405 heels and your heart both in an instant.
ROSALIND 1406 Nay, but the devil take mocking. Speak sad
1407 brow and true maid.
CELIA 1408 220I’ faith, coz, ’tis he.
ROSALIND 1409 Orlando?
CELIA 1410 Orlando.
ROSALIND 1411 Alas the day, what shall I do with my doublet
1412 and hose? What did he when thou saw’st him? What
1413 225 said he? How looked he? Wherein went he? What
1414 makes he here? Did he ask for me? Where remains
1415 he? How parted he with thee? And when shalt thou
1416 see him again? Answer me in one word.
CELIA 1417 You must borrow me Gargantua’s mouth first.
1418 230 ’Tis a word too great for any mouth of this age’s size.
1419 To say ay and no to these particulars is more than to
1420 answer in a catechism.
ROSALIND 1421 But doth he know that I am in this forest and
1422 in man’s apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the
1423 235 day he wrestled?
CELIA 1424 It is as easy to count atomies as to resolve the
1425 propositions of a lover. But take a taste of my
1426 finding him, and relish it with good observance. I
1427 found him under a tree like a dropped acorn.
1429 drops forth ⌜such⌝ fruit.
CELIA 1430 Give me audience, good madam.
ROSALIND 1431 Proceed.
CELIA 1432 There lay he, stretched along like a wounded
1433 245 knight.
ROSALIND 1434 Though it be pity to see such a sight, it well
1435 becomes the ground.
CELIA 1436 Cry “holla” to ⌜thy⌝ tongue, I prithee. It curvets
1437 unseasonably. He was furnished like a hunter.
ROSALIND 1438 250O, ominous! He comes to kill my heart.
CELIA 1439 I would sing my song without a burden. Thou
1440 bring’st me out of tune.
ROSALIND 1441 Do you not know I am a woman? When I
1442 think, I must speak. Sweet, say on.
CELIA 1443 255You bring me out.
Enter Orlando and Jaques.
1444 Soft, comes he not here?
ROSALIND 1445 ’Tis he. Slink by, and note him.
⌜Rosalind and Celia step aside.⌝
JAQUES, ⌜to Orlando⌝ 1446 I thank you for your company,
1447 but, good faith, I had as lief have been myself alone.
ORLANDO 1448 260And so had I, but yet, for fashion sake, I
1449 thank you too for your society.
JAQUES 1450 God be wi’ you. Let’s meet as little as we can.
ORLANDO 1451 I do desire we may be better strangers.
JAQUES 1452 I pray you mar no more trees with writing love
1453 265 songs in their barks.
ORLANDO 1454 I pray you mar no more of my verses with
1455 reading them ill-favoredly.
JAQUES 1456 Rosalind is your love’s name?
ORLANDO 1457 Yes, just.
JAQUES 1458 270I do not like her name.
ORLANDO 1459 There was no thought of pleasing you when
1460 she was christened.
ORLANDO 1462 Just as high as my heart.
JAQUES 1463 275You are full of pretty answers. Have you not
1464 been acquainted with goldsmiths’ wives and
1465 conned them out of rings?
ORLANDO 1466 Not so. But I answer you right painted cloth,
1467 from whence you have studied your questions.
JAQUES 1468 280You have a nimble wit. I think ’twas made of
1469 Atalanta’s heels. Will you sit down with me? And we
1470 two will rail against our mistress the world and all
1471 our misery.
ORLANDO 1472 I will chide no breather in the world but
1473 285 myself, against whom I know most faults.
JAQUES 1474 The worst fault you have is to be in love.
ORLANDO 1475 ’Tis a fault I will not change for your best
1476 virtue. I am weary of you.
JAQUES 1477 By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I
1478 290 found you.
ORLANDO 1479 He is drowned in the brook. Look but in, and
1480 you shall see him.
JAQUES 1481 There I shall see mine own figure.
ORLANDO 1482 Which I take to be either a fool or a cipher.
JAQUES 1483 295I’ll tarry no longer with you. Farewell, good
1484 Signior Love.
ORLANDO 1485 I am glad of your departure. Adieu, good
1486 Monsieur Melancholy.⌜Jaques exits.⌝
ROSALIND, ⌜aside to Celia⌝ 1487 I will speak to him like a
1488 300 saucy lackey, and under that habit play the knave
1489 with him. ⌜As Ganymede.⌝ Do you hear, forester?
ORLANDO 1490 Very well. What would you?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1491 I pray you, what is ’t
ORLANDO 1493 305You should ask me what time o’ day. There’s
1494 no clock in the forest.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1495 Then there is no true lover
1496 in the forest; else sighing every minute and
1498 310 time as well as a clock.
ORLANDO 1499 And why not the swift foot of time? Had not
1500 that been as proper?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1501 By no means, sir. Time
1502 travels in divers paces with divers persons. I’ll tell
1503 315 you who time ambles withal, who time trots withal,
1504 who time gallops withal, and who he stands still
ORLANDO 1506 I prithee, who doth he trot withal?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1507 Marry, he trots hard with a
1508 320 young maid between the contract of her marriage
1509 and the day it is solemnized. If the interim be but a
1510 se’nnight, time’s pace is so hard that it seems the
1511 length of seven year.
ORLANDO 1512 Who ambles time withal?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1513 325With a priest that lacks Latin
1514 and a rich man that hath not the gout, for the one
1515 sleeps easily because he cannot study, and the other
1516 lives merrily because he feels no pain—the one
1517 lacking the burden of lean and wasteful learning,
1518 330 the other knowing no burden of heavy tedious
1519 penury. These time ambles withal.
ORLANDO 1520 Who doth he gallop withal?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1521 With a thief to the gallows,
1522 for though he go as softly as foot can fall, he thinks
1523 335 himself too soon there.
ORLANDO 1524 Who stays it still withal?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1525 With lawyers in the vacation,
1526 for they sleep between term and term, and
1527 then they perceive not how time moves.
ORLANDO 1528 340Where dwell you, pretty youth?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1529 With this shepherdess, my
1530 sister, here in the skirts of the forest, like fringe
1531 upon a petticoat.
ORLANDO 1532 Are you native of this place?
1534 dwell where she is kindled.
ORLANDO 1535 Your accent is something finer than you
1536 could purchase in so removed a dwelling.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1537 I have been told so of many.
1538 350 But indeed an old religious uncle of mine taught
1539 me to speak, who was in his youth an inland man,
1540 one that knew courtship too well, for there he fell in
1541 love. I have heard him read many lectures against it,
1542 and I thank God I am not a woman, to be touched
1543 355 with so many giddy offenses as he hath generally
1544 taxed their whole sex withal.
ORLANDO 1545 Can you remember any of the principal evils
1546 that he laid to the charge of women?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1547 There were none principal.
1548 360 They were all like one another as halfpence are,
1549 every one fault seeming monstrous till his fellow
1550 fault came to match it.
ORLANDO 1551 I prithee recount some of them.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1552 No, I will not cast away my
1553 365 physic but on those that are sick. There is a man
1554 haunts the forest that abuses our young plants with
1555 carving “Rosalind” on their barks, hangs odes upon
1556 hawthorns and elegies on brambles, all, forsooth,
1557 ⌜deifying⌝ the name of Rosalind. If I could meet
1558 370 that fancy-monger, I would give him some good
1559 counsel, for he seems to have the quotidian of love
1560 upon him.
ORLANDO 1561 I am he that is so love-shaked. I pray you tell
1562 me your remedy.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1563 375There is none of my uncle’s
1564 marks upon you. He taught me how to know a man
1565 in love, in which cage of rushes I am sure you ⌜are⌝
1566 not prisoner.
ORLANDO 1567 What were his marks?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1568 380A lean cheek, which you
1570 not; an unquestionable spirit, which you have not; a
1571 beard neglected, which you have not—but I pardon
1572 you for that, for simply your having in beard is a
1573 385 younger brother’s revenue. Then your hose should
1574 be ungartered, your bonnet unbanded, your sleeve
1575 unbuttoned, your shoe untied, and everything
1576 about you demonstrating a careless desolation. But
1577 you are no such man. You are rather point-device in
1578 390 your accouterments, as loving yourself than seeming
1579 the lover of any other.
ORLANDO 1580 Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe
1581 I love.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1582 Me believe it? You may as
1583 395 soon make her that you love believe it, which I
1584 warrant she is apter to do than to confess she does.
1585 That is one of the points in the which women still
1586 give the lie to their consciences. But, in good sooth,
1587 are you he that hangs the verses on the trees
1588 400 wherein Rosalind is so admired?
ORLANDO 1589 I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of
1590 Rosalind, I am that he, that unfortunate he.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1591 But are you so much in love
1592 as your rhymes speak?
ORLANDO 1593 405Neither rhyme nor reason can express how
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1595 Love is merely a madness,
1596 and, I tell you, deserves as well a dark house and a
1597 whip as madmen do; and the reason why they are
1598 410 not so punished and cured is that the lunacy is so
1599 ordinary that the whippers are in love too. Yet I
1600 profess curing it by counsel.
ORLANDO 1601 Did you ever cure any so?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1602 Yes, one, and in this manner.
1603 415 He was to imagine me his love, his mistress,
1604 and I set him every day to woo me; at which time
1606 effeminate, changeable, longing and liking, proud,
1607 fantastical, apish, shallow, inconstant, full of tears,
1608 420 full of smiles; for every passion something, and for
1609 no passion truly anything, as boys and women are,
1610 for the most part, cattle of this color; would now
1611 like him, now loathe him; then entertain him, then
1612 forswear him; now weep for him, then spit at him,
1613 425 that I drave my suitor from his mad humor of love
1614 to a living humor of madness, which was to forswear
1615 the full stream of the world and to live in a
1616 nook merely monastic. And thus I cured him, and
1617 this way will I take upon me to wash your liver as
1618 430 clean as a sound sheep’s heart, that there shall not
1619 be one spot of love in ’t.
ORLANDO 1620 I would not be cured, youth.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1621 I would cure you if you
1622 would but call me Rosalind and come every day to
1623 435 my cote and woo me.
ORLANDO 1624 Now, by the faith of my love, I will. Tell me
1625 where it is.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1626 Go with me to it, and I’ll
1627 show it you; and by the way you shall tell me where
1628 440 in the forest you live. Will you go?
ORLANDO 1629 With all my heart, good youth.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1630 Nay, you must call me
1631 Rosalind.—Come, sister, will you go?
TOUCHSTONE 1632 Come apace, good Audrey. I will fetch up
1633 your goats, Audrey. And how, Audrey? Am I the
1634 man yet? Doth my simple feature content you?
1636 5 features?
TOUCHSTONE 1637 I am here with thee and thy goats, as the
1638 most capricious poet, honest Ovid, was among the
JAQUES, ⌜aside⌝ 1640 O knowledge ill-inhabited, worse than
1641 10 Jove in a thatched house.
TOUCHSTONE 1642 When a man’s verses cannot be understood,
1643 nor a man’s good wit seconded with the
1644 forward child, understanding, it strikes a man more
1645 dead than a great reckoning in a little room. Truly, I
1646 15 would the gods had made thee poetical.
AUDREY 1647 I do not know what “poetical” is. Is it honest
1648 in deed and word? Is it a true thing?
TOUCHSTONE 1649 No, truly, for the truest poetry is the most
1650 feigning, and lovers are given to poetry, and what
1651 20 they swear in poetry may be said as lovers they do
AUDREY 1653 Do you wish, then, that the gods had made me
TOUCHSTONE 1655 I do, truly, for thou swear’st to me thou
1656 25 art honest. Now if thou wert a poet, I might have
1657 some hope thou didst feign.
AUDREY 1658 Would you not have me honest?
TOUCHSTONE 1659 No, truly, unless thou wert hard-favored;
1660 for honesty coupled to beauty is to have honey a
1661 30 sauce to sugar.
JAQUES, ⌜aside⌝ 1662 A material fool.
AUDREY 1663 Well, I am not fair, and therefore I pray the
1664 gods make me honest.
TOUCHSTONE 1665 Truly, and to cast away honesty upon a
1666 35 foul slut were to put good meat into an unclean
AUDREY 1668 I am not a slut, though I thank the gods I am
TOUCHSTONE 1670 Well, praised be the gods for thy foulness;
1672 be, I will marry thee; and to that end I have been
1673 with Sir Oliver Martext, the vicar of the next village,
1674 who hath promised to meet me in this place of the
1675 forest and to couple us.
JAQUES, ⌜aside⌝ 1676 45I would fain see this meeting.
AUDREY 1677 Well, the gods give us joy.
TOUCHSTONE 1678 Amen. A man may, if he were of a fearful
1679 heart, stagger in this attempt, for here we have no
1680 temple but the wood, no assembly but horn-beasts.
1681 50 But what though? Courage. As horns are odious,
1682 they are necessary. It is said “Many a man knows no
1683 end of his goods.” Right: many a man has good
1684 horns and knows no end of them. Well, that is the
1685 dowry of his wife; ’tis none of his own getting.
1686 55 Horns? Even so. Poor men alone? No, no. The
1687 noblest deer hath them as huge as the rascal. Is the
1688 single man therefore blessed? No. As a walled town
1689 is more worthier than a village, so is the forehead of
1690 a married man more honorable than the bare brow
1691 60 of a bachelor. And by how much defense is better
1692 than no skill, by so much is a horn more precious
1693 than to want.
Enter Sir Oliver Martext.
1694 Here comes Sir Oliver.—Sir Oliver Martext, you are
1695 well met. Will you dispatch us here under this tree,
1696 65 or shall we go with you to your chapel?
OLIVER MARTEXT 1697 Is there none here to give the
TOUCHSTONE 1699 I will not take her on gift of any man.
OLIVER MARTEXT 1700 Truly, she must be given, or the
1701 70 marriage is not lawful.
JAQUES, ⌜coming forward⌝ 1702 Proceed, proceed. I’ll give
1705 How do you, sir? You are very well met. God
1706 75 ’ild you for your last company. I am very glad to see
1707 you. Even a toy in hand here, sir. Nay, pray be
JAQUES 1709 Will you be married, motley?
TOUCHSTONE 1710 As the ox hath his bow, sir, the horse his
1711 80 curb, and the falcon her bells, so man hath his
1712 desires; and as pigeons bill, so wedlock would be
JAQUES 1714 And will you, being a man of your breeding, be
1715 married under a bush like a beggar? Get you to
1716 85 church, and have a good priest that can tell you
1717 what marriage is. This fellow will but join you
1718 together as they join wainscot. Then one of you will
1719 prove a shrunk panel and, like green timber, warp,
TOUCHSTONE 1721 90I am not in the mind but I were better to
1722 be married of him than of another, for he is not like
1723 to marry me well, and not being well married, it
1724 will be a good excuse for me hereafter to leave my
JAQUES 1726 95Go thou with me, and let me counsel thee.
⌜TOUCHSTONE⌝ 1727 Come, sweet Audrey. We must be married,
1728 or we must live in bawdry.—Farewell, good
1729 Master Oliver, not
1730 O sweet Oliver,
1731 100 O brave Oliver,
1732 Leave me not behind thee,
1734 Wind away,
1735 Begone, I say,
1736 105 I will not to wedding with thee.
⌜Audrey, Touchstone, and Jaques exit.⌝
OLIVER MARTEXT 1737 ’Tis no matter. Ne’er a fantastical
1738 knave of them all shall flout me out of my calling.
⌜dressed as Aliena.⌝
ROSALIND 1739 Never talk to me. I will weep.
CELIA 1740 Do, I prithee, but yet have the grace to consider
1741 that tears do not become a man.
ROSALIND 1742 But have I not cause to weep?
CELIA 1743 5As good cause as one would desire. Therefore
ROSALIND 1745 His very hair is of the dissembling color.
CELIA 1746 Something browner than Judas’s. Marry, his
1747 kisses are Judas’s own children.
ROSALIND 1748 10I’ faith, his hair is of a good color.
CELIA 1749 An excellent color. Your chestnut was ever the
1750 only color.
ROSALIND 1751 And his kissing is as full of sanctity as the
1752 touch of holy bread.
CELIA 1753 15He hath bought a pair of cast lips of Diana. A
1754 nun of winter’s sisterhood kisses not more religiously.
1755 The very ice of chastity is in them.
ROSALIND 1756 But why did he swear he would come this
1757 morning, and comes not?
CELIA 1758 20Nay, certainly, there is no truth in him.
ROSALIND 1759 Do you think so?
CELIA 1760 Yes, I think he is not a pickpurse nor a horse-stealer,
1761 but for his verity in love, I do think him as
1762 concave as a covered goblet or a worm-eaten nut.
ROSALIND 1763 25Not true in love?
CELIA 1764 Yes, when he is in, but I think he is not in.
ROSALIND 1765 You have heard him swear downright he
CELIA 1767 “Was” is not “is.” Besides, the oath of ⌜a⌝ lover is
1768 30 no stronger than the word of a tapster. They are
1769 both the confirmer of false reckonings. He attends
1770 here in the forest on the Duke your father.
1772 question with him. He asked me of what parentage
1773 35 I was. I told him, of as good as he. So he laughed
1774 and let me go. But what talk we of fathers when
1775 there is such a man as Orlando?
CELIA 1776 O, that’s a brave man. He writes brave verses,
1777 speaks brave words, swears brave oaths, and breaks
1778 40 them bravely, quite traverse, athwart the heart of
1779 his lover, as a puny tilter that spurs his horse but on
1780 one side breaks his staff like a noble goose; but all’s
1781 brave that youth mounts and folly guides.
1782 Who comes here?
1783 45 Mistress and master, you have oft inquired
1784 After the shepherd that complained of love,
1785 Who you saw sitting by me on the turf,
1786 Praising the proud disdainful shepherdess
1787 That was his mistress.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝ 1788 50 Well, and what of him?
1789 If you will see a pageant truly played
1790 Between the pale complexion of true love
1791 And the red glow of scorn and proud disdain,
1792 Go hence a little, and I shall conduct you
1793 55 If you will mark it.
ROSALIND, ⌜aside to Celia⌝ 1794 O come, let us remove.
1795 The sight of lovers feedeth those in love.
1796 ⌜As Ganymede, to Corin.⌝ Bring us to this sight, and
1797 you shall say
1798 60 I’ll prove a busy actor in their play.
1799 Sweet Phoebe, do not scorn me. Do not, Phoebe.
1800 Say that you love me not, but say not so
1801 In bitterness. The common executioner,
1802 Whose heart th’ accustomed sight of death makes
1803 5 hard,
1804 Falls not the axe upon the humbled neck
1805 But first begs pardon. Will you sterner be
1806 Than he that dies and lives by bloody drops?
Enter, ⌜unobserved,⌝ Rosalind ⌜as Ganymede,⌝ Celia ⌜as
Aliena,⌝ and Corin.
1807 I would not be thy executioner.
1808 10 I fly thee, for I would not injure thee.
1809 Thou tell’st me there is murder in mine eye.
1810 ’Tis pretty, sure, and very probable
1811 That eyes, that are the frail’st and softest things,
1812 Who shut their coward gates on atomies,
1813 15 Should be called tyrants, butchers, murderers.
1814 Now I do frown on thee with all my heart,
1815 And if mine eyes can wound, now let them kill thee.
1816 Now counterfeit to swoon; why, now fall down;
1817 Or if thou canst not, O, for shame, for shame,
1818 20 Lie not, to say mine eyes are murderers.
1819 Now show the wound mine eye hath made in thee.
1820 Scratch thee but with a pin, and there remains
1821 Some scar of it. Lean upon a rush,
1822 The cicatrice and capable impressure
1823 25 Thy palm some moment keeps. But now mine eyes,
1824 Which I have darted at thee, hurt thee not;
1825 Nor I am sure there is no force in eyes
1826 That can do hurt.
1828 30 If ever—as that ever may be near—
1829 You meet in some fresh cheek the power of fancy,
1830 Then shall you know the wounds invisible
1831 That love’s keen arrows make.
PHOEBE 1832 But till that time
1833 35 Come not thou near me. And when that time
1835 Afflict me with thy mocks, pity me not,
1836 As till that time I shall not pity thee.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede, coming forward⌝
1837 And why, I pray you? Who might be your mother,
1838 40 That you insult, exult, and all at once,
1839 Over the wretched? What though you have no
1841 As, by my faith, I see no more in you
1842 Than without candle may go dark to bed—
1843 45 Must you be therefore proud and pitiless?
1844 Why, what means this? Why do you look on me?
1845 I see no more in you than in the ordinary
1846 Of nature’s sale-work.—’Od’s my little life,
1847 I think she means to tangle my eyes, too.—
1848 50 No, faith, proud mistress, hope not after it.
1849 ’Tis not your inky brows, your black silk hair,
1850 Your bugle eyeballs, nor your cheek of cream
1851 That can entame my spirits to your worship.—
1852 You foolish shepherd, wherefore do you follow her,
1853 55 Like foggy south puffing with wind and rain?
1854 You are a thousand times a properer man
1855 Than she a woman. ’Tis such fools as you
1856 That makes the world full of ill-favored children.
1857 ’Tis not her glass but you that flatters her,
1858 60 And out of you she sees herself more proper
1859 Than any of her lineaments can show her.—
1860 But, mistress, know yourself. Down on your knees
1861 And thank heaven, fasting, for a good man’s love,
1863 65 Sell when you can; you are not for all markets.
1864 Cry the man mercy, love him, take his offer.
1865 Foul is most foul, being foul to be a scoffer.—
1866 So take her to thee, shepherd. Fare you well.
1867 Sweet youth, I pray you chide a year together.
1868 70 I had rather hear you chide than this man woo.
ROSALIND,⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1869 He’s fall’n in love with your
1870 foulness. (⌜To Silvius.⌝) And she’ll fall in love with
1871 my anger. If it be so, as fast as she answers thee with
1872 frowning looks, I’ll sauce her with bitter words. (⌜To
Phoebe.⌝) 1873 75Why look you so upon me?
PHOEBE 1874 For no ill will I bear you.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
1875 I pray you, do not fall in love with me,
1876 For I am falser than vows made in wine.
1877 Besides, I like you not. If you will know my house,
1878 80 ’Tis at the tuft of olives, here hard by.—
1879 Will you go, sister?—Shepherd, ply her hard.—
1880 Come, sister.—Shepherdess, look on him better,
1881 And be not proud. Though all the world could see,
1882 None could be so abused in sight as he.—
1883 85 Come, to our flock.
She exits, ⌜with Celia and Corin.⌝
1884 Dead shepherd, now I find thy saw of might:
1885 “Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?”
1886 Sweet Phoebe—
PHOEBE 1887 Ha, what sayst thou, Silvius?
SILVIUS 1888 90Sweet Phoebe, pity me.
1889 Why, I am sorry for thee, gentle Silvius.
1890 Wherever sorrow is, relief would be.
1892 By giving love your sorrow and my grief
1893 95 Were both extermined.
1894 Thou hast my love. Is not that neighborly?
1895 I would have you.
PHOEBE 1896 Why, that were covetousness.
1897 Silvius, the time was that I hated thee;
1898 100 And yet it is not that I bear thee love;
1899 But since that thou canst talk of love so well,
1900 Thy company, which erst was irksome to me,
1901 I will endure, and I’ll employ thee too.
1902 But do not look for further recompense
1903 105 Than thine own gladness that thou art employed.
1904 So holy and so perfect is my love,
1905 And I in such a poverty of grace,
1906 That I shall think it a most plenteous crop
1907 To glean the broken ears after the man
1908 110 That the main harvest reaps. Loose now and then
1909 A scattered smile, and that I’ll live upon.
1910 Know’st thou the youth that spoke to me erewhile?
1911 Not very well, but I have met him oft,
1912 And he hath bought the cottage and the bounds
1913 115 That the old carlot once was master of.
1914 Think not I love him, though I ask for him.
1915 ’Tis but a peevish boy—yet he talks well—
1916 But what care I for words? Yet words do well
1917 When he that speaks them pleases those that hear.
1918 120 It is a pretty youth—not very pretty—
1919 But sure he’s proud—and yet his pride becomes
1922 Is his complexion; and faster than his tongue
1923 125 Did make offense, his eye did heal it up.
1924 He is not very tall—yet for his years he’s tall.
1925 His leg is but so-so—and yet ’tis well.
1926 There was a pretty redness in his lip,
1927 A little riper and more lusty red
1928 130 Than that mixed in his cheek: ’twas just the
1930 Betwixt the constant red and mingled damask.
1931 There be some women, Silvius, had they marked
1933 135 In parcels as I did, would have gone near
1934 To fall in love with him; but for my part
1935 I love him not nor hate him not; and yet
1936 ⌜I⌝ have more cause to hate him than to love him.
1937 For what had he to do to chide at me?
1938 140 He said mine eyes were black and my hair black,
1939 And now I am remembered, scorned at me.
1940 I marvel why I answered not again.
1941 But that’s all one: omittance is no quittance.
1942 I’ll write to him a very taunting letter,
1943 145 And thou shalt bear it. Wilt thou, Silvius?
1944 Phoebe, with all my heart.
PHOEBE 1945 I’ll write it straight.
1946 The matter’s in my head and in my heart.
1947 I will be bitter with him and passing short.
1948 150 Go with me, Silvius.
JAQUES 1949 I prithee, pretty youth, let me ⌜be⌝ better
1950 acquainted with thee.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1951 They say you are a melancholy
JAQUES 1953 5I am so. I do love it better than laughing.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1954 Those that are in extremity
1955 of either are abominable fellows and betray
1956 themselves to every modern censure worse than
JAQUES 1958 10Why, ’tis good to be sad and say nothing.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1959 Why then, ’tis good to be a
JAQUES 1961 I have neither the scholar’s melancholy, which
1962 is emulation; nor the musician’s, which is fantastical;
1963 15 nor the courtier’s, which is proud; nor the
1964 soldier’s, which is ambitious; nor the lawyer’s,
1965 which is politic; nor the lady’s, which is nice; nor
1966 the lover’s, which is all these; but it is a melancholy
1967 of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted
1968 20 from many objects, and indeed the sundry
1969 contemplation of my travels, in which ⌜my⌝ often
1970 rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1971 A traveller. By my faith, you
1973 25 your own lands to see other men’s. Then to have
1974 seen much and to have nothing is to have rich eyes
1975 and poor hands.
JAQUES 1976 Yes, I have gained my experience.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1977 And your experience makes
1978 30 you sad. I had rather have a fool to make me merry
1979 than experience to make me sad—and to travel for
1980 it too.
1981 Good day and happiness, dear Rosalind.
JAQUES 1982 Nay then, God be wi’ you, an you talk in blank
1983 35 verse.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1984 Farewell, Monsieur Traveller.
1985 Look you lisp and wear strange suits, disable all
1986 the benefits of your own country, be out of love with
1987 your nativity, and almost chide God for making you
1988 40 that countenance you are, or I will scarce think you
1989 have swam in a gondola.
1990 Why, how now, Orlando, where have you been all
1991 this while? You a lover? An you serve me such
1992 another trick, never come in my sight more.
ORLANDO 1993 45My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of
1994 my promise.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1995 Break an hour’s promise in
1996 love? He that will divide a minute into a thousand
1997 parts and break but a part of the thousand part of a
1998 50 minute in the affairs of love, it may be said of him
1999 that Cupid hath clapped him o’ th’ shoulder, but I’ll
2000 warrant him heart-whole.
ORLANDO 2001 Pardon me, dear Rosalind.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2002 Nay, an you be so tardy,
2004 a snail.
ORLANDO 2005 Of a snail?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2006 Ay, of a snail, for though he
2007 comes slowly, he carries his house on his head—a
2008 60 better jointure, I think, than you make a woman.
2009 Besides, he brings his destiny with him.
ORLANDO 2010 What’s that?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2011 Why, horns, which such as
2012 you are fain to be beholding to your wives for. But
2013 65 he comes armed in his fortune and prevents the
2014 slander of his wife.
ORLANDO 2015 Virtue is no hornmaker, and my Rosalind is
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2017 And I am your Rosalind.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝ 2018 70It pleases him to call you so, but he
2019 hath a Rosalind of a better leer than you.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede, to Orlando⌝ 2020 Come, woo me,
2021 woo me, for now I am in a holiday humor, and like
2022 enough to consent. What would you say to me now
2023 75 an I were your very, very Rosalind?
ORLANDO 2024 I would kiss before I spoke.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2025 Nay, you were better speak
2026 first, and when you were gravelled for lack of
2027 matter, you might take occasion to kiss. Very good
2028 80 orators, when they are out, they will spit; and for
2029 lovers lacking—God warn us—matter, the cleanliest
2030 shift is to kiss.
ORLANDO 2031 How if the kiss be denied?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2032 Then she puts you to entreaty,
2033 85 and there begins new matter.
ORLANDO 2034 Who could be out, being before his beloved
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2036 Marry, that should you if I
2037 were your mistress, or I should think my honesty
2038 90 ranker than my wit.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2040 Not out of your apparel, and
2041 yet out of your suit. Am not I your Rosalind?
ORLANDO 2042 I take some joy to say you are because I
2043 95 would be talking of her.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2044 Well, in her person I say I
2045 will not have you.
ORLANDO 2046 Then, in mine own person I die.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2047 No, faith, die by attorney.
2048 100 The poor world is almost six thousand years old,
2049 and in all this time there was not any man died in
2050 his own person, videlicet, in a love cause. Troilus
2051 had his brains dashed out with a Grecian club, yet
2052 he did what he could to die before, and he is one of
2053 105 the patterns of love. Leander, he would have lived
2054 many a fair year though Hero had turned nun, if it
2055 had not been for a hot midsummer night, for, good
2056 youth, he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont
2057 and, being taken with the cramp, was
2058 110 drowned; and the foolish chroniclers of that age
2059 found it was Hero of Sestos. But these are all lies.
2060 Men have died from time to time and worms have
2061 eaten them, but not for love.
ORLANDO 2062 I would not have my right Rosalind of this
2063 115 mind, for I protest her frown might kill me.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2064 By this hand, it will not kill a
2065 fly. But come; now I will be your Rosalind in a more
2066 coming-on disposition, and ask me what you will, I
2067 will grant it.
ORLANDO 2068 120Then love me, Rosalind.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2069 Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and
2070 Saturdays and all.
ORLANDO 2071 And wilt thou have me?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2072 Ay, and twenty such.
ORLANDO 2073 125What sayest thou?
ORLANDO 2075 I hope so.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2076 Why then, can one desire
2077 too much of a good thing?—Come, sister, you shall
2078 130 be the priest and marry us.—Give me your hand,
2079 Orlando.—What do you say, sister?
ORLANDO, ⌜to Celia⌝ 2080 Pray thee marry us.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝ 2081 I cannot say the words.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2082 You must begin “Will you,
2083 135 Orlando—”
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝ 2084 Go to.—Will you, Orlando, have to
2085 wife this Rosalind?
ORLANDO 2086 I will.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2087 Ay, but when?
ORLANDO 2088 140Why now, as fast as she can marry us.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2089 Then you must say “I take
2090 thee, Rosalind, for wife.”
ORLANDO 2091 I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2092 I might ask you for your
2093 145 commission, but I do take thee, Orlando, for my
2094 husband. There’s a girl goes before the priest, and
2095 certainly a woman’s thought runs before her
ORLANDO 2097 So do all thoughts. They are winged.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2098 150Now tell me how long you
2099 would have her after you have possessed her?
ORLANDO 2100 Forever and a day.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2101 Say “a day” without the
2102 “ever.” No, no, Orlando, men are April when they
2103 155 woo, December when they wed. Maids are May
2104 when they are maids, but the sky changes when
2105 they are wives. I will be more jealous of thee than a
2106 Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen, more clamorous
2107 than a parrot against rain, more newfangled than
2108 160 an ape, more giddy in my desires than a monkey. I
2109 will weep for nothing, like Diana in the fountain,
2111 merry. I will laugh like a hyena, and that when thou
2112 art inclined to sleep.
ORLANDO 2113 165But will my Rosalind do so?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2114 By my life, she will do as I
ORLANDO 2116 O, but she is wise.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2117 Or else she could not have
2118 170 the wit to do this. The wiser, the waywarder. Make
2119 the doors upon a woman’s wit, and it will out at the
2120 casement. Shut that, and ’twill out at the keyhole.
2121 Stop that, ’twill fly with the smoke out at the
ORLANDO 2123 175A man that had a wife with such a wit, he
2124 might say “Wit, whither wilt?”
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2125 Nay, you might keep that
2126 check for it till you met your wife’s wit going to
2127 your neighbor’s bed.
ORLANDO 2128 180And what wit could wit have to excuse that?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2129 Marry, to say she came to
2130 seek you there. You shall never take her without her
2131 answer unless you take her without her tongue. O,
2132 that woman that cannot make her fault her husband’s
2133 185 occasion, let her never nurse her child
2134 herself, for she will breed it like a fool.
ORLANDO 2135 For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2137 Alas, dear love, I cannot lack
2138 190 thee two hours.
ORLANDO 2139 I must attend the Duke at dinner. By two
2140 o’clock I will be with thee again.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2141 Ay, go your ways, go your
2142 ways. I knew what you would prove. My friends told
2143 195 me as much, and I thought no less. That flattering
2144 tongue of yours won me. ’Tis but one cast away, and
2145 so, come, death. Two o’clock is your hour?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2147 By my troth, and in good
2148 200 earnest, and so God mend me, and by all pretty
2149 oaths that are not dangerous, if you break one jot of
2150 your promise or come one minute behind your
2151 hour, I will think you the most pathetical break-promise,
2152 and the most hollow lover, and the most
2153 205 unworthy of her you call Rosalind that may be
2154 chosen out of the gross band of the unfaithful.
2155 Therefore beware my censure, and keep your
ORLANDO 2157 With no less religion than if thou wert indeed
2158 210 my Rosalind. So, adieu.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2159 Well, time is the old justice
2160 that examines all such offenders, and let time try.
CELIA 2162 You have simply misused our sex in your love-prate.
2163 215 We must have your doublet and hose plucked
2164 over your head and show the world what the bird
2165 hath done to her own nest.
ROSALIND 2166 O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou
2167 didst know how many fathom deep I am in love. But
2168 220 it cannot be sounded; my affection hath an
2169 unknown bottom, like the Bay of Portugal.
CELIA 2170 Or rather bottomless, that as fast as you pour
2171 affection in, ⌜it⌝ runs out.
ROSALIND 2172 No, that same wicked bastard of Venus, that
2173 225 was begot of thought, conceived of spleen, and born
2174 of madness, that blind rascally boy that abuses
2175 everyone’s eyes because his own are out, let him be
2176 judge how deep I am in love. I’ll tell thee, Aliena, I
2177 cannot be out of the sight of Orlando. I’ll go find a
2178 230 shadow and sigh till he come.
CELIA 2179 And I’ll sleep.
JAQUES 2180 Which is he that killed the deer?
⌜FIRST⌝ LORD 2181 Sir, it was I.
JAQUES, ⌜to the other Lords⌝ 2182 Let’s present him to the
2183 Duke like a Roman conqueror. And it would do well
2184 5 to set the deer’s horns upon his head for a branch of
2185 victory.—Have you no song, forester, for this
⌜SECOND⌝ LORD 2187 Yes, sir.
JAQUES 2188 Sing it. ’Tis no matter how it be in tune, so it
2189 10 make noise enough.
⌜SECOND LORD sings⌝
2190 What shall he have that killed the deer?
2191 His leather skin and horns to wear.
2192 Then sing him home.
(The rest shall bear this burden:)
2193 Take thou no scorn to wear the horn.
2194 15 It was a crest ere thou wast born.
2195 Thy father’s father wore it,
2196 And thy father bore it.
2197 The horn, the horn, the lusty horn
2198 Is not a thing to laugh to scorn.
⌜dressed as Aliena.⌝
ROSALIND 2199 How say you now? Is it not past two o’clock?
2200 And here much Orlando.
CELIA 2201 I warrant you, with pure love and troubled brain
2202 he hath ta’en his bow and arrows and is gone forth
2203 5 to sleep.
2204 Look who comes here.
SILVIUS, ⌜to Rosalind⌝
2205 My errand is to you, fair youth.
2206 My gentle Phoebe did bid me give you this.
⌜He gives Rosalind a paper.⌝
2207 I know not the contents, but as I guess
2208 10 By the stern brow and waspish action
2209 Which she did use as she was writing of it,
2210 It bears an angry tenor. Pardon me.
2211 I am but as a guiltless messenger.
⌜Rosalind reads the letter.⌝
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
2212 Patience herself would startle at this letter
2213 15 And play the swaggerer. Bear this, bear all.
2214 She says I am not fair, that I lack manners.
2215 She calls me proud, and that she could not love me
2216 Were man as rare as phoenix. ’Od’s my will,
2217 Her love is not the hare that I do hunt.
2218 20 Why writes she so to me? Well, shepherd, well,
2219 This is a letter of your own device.
2220 No, I protest. I know not the contents.
2221 Phoebe did write it.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2222 Come, come, you are a
2223 25 fool,
2224 And turned into the extremity of love.
2225 I saw her hand. She has a leathern hand,
2226 A freestone-colored hand. I verily did think
2227 That her old gloves were on, but ’twas her hands.
2228 30 She has a huswife’s hand—but that’s no matter.
2229 I say she never did invent this letter.
2230 This is a man’s invention, and his hand.
SILVIUS 2231 Sure it is hers.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
2232 Why, ’tis a boisterous and a cruel style,
2234 Like Turk to Christian. Women’s gentle brain
2235 Could not drop forth such giant-rude invention,
2236 Such Ethiop words, blacker in their effect
2237 Than in their countenance. Will you hear the letter?
2238 40 So please you, for I never heard it yet,
2239 Yet heard too much of Phoebe’s cruelty.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
2240 She Phoebes me. Mark how the tyrant writes.
2241 Art thou god to shepherd turned,
2242 That a maiden’s heart hath burned?
2243 45 Can a woman rail thus?
SILVIUS 2244 Call you this railing?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
2245 Why, thy godhead laid apart,
2246 Warr’st thou with a woman’s heart?
2247 Did you ever hear such railing?
2248 50 Whiles the eye of man did woo me,
2249 That could do no vengeance to me.
2250 Meaning me a beast.
2251 If the scorn of your bright eyne
2252 Have power to raise such love in mine,
2253 55 Alack, in me what strange effect
2254 Would they work in mild aspect?
2255 Whiles you chid me, I did love.
2256 How then might your prayers move?
2257 He that brings this love to thee
2258 60 Little knows this love in me,
2259 And by him seal up thy mind
2260 Whether that thy youth and kind
2261 Will the faithful offer take
2262 Of me, and all that I can make,
2263 65 Or else by him my love deny,
2264 And then I’ll study how to die.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝ 2266 Alas, poor shepherd.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2267 Do you pity him? No, he
2268 70 deserves no pity.—Wilt thou love such a woman?
2269 What, to make thee an instrument and play false
2270 strains upon thee? Not to be endured. Well, go your
2271 way to her, for I see love hath made thee a tame
2272 snake, and say this to her: that if she love me, I
2273 75 charge her to love thee; if she will not, I will never
2274 have her unless thou entreat for her. If you be a true
2275 lover, hence, and not a word, for here comes more
2276 company.Silvius exits.
2277 Good morrow, fair ones. Pray you, if you know,
2278 80 Where in the purlieus of this forest stands
2279 A sheepcote fenced about with olive trees?
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝
2280 West of this place, down in the neighbor bottom;
2281 The rank of osiers by the murmuring stream
2282 Left on your right hand brings you to the place.
2283 85 But at this hour the house doth keep itself.
2284 There’s none within.
2285 If that an eye may profit by a tongue,
2286 Then should I know you by description—
2287 Such garments, and such years. “The boy is fair,
2288 90 Of female favor, and bestows himself
2289 Like a ripe sister; the woman low
2290 And browner than her brother.” Are not you
2291 The owner of the house I did inquire for?
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝
2292 It is no boast, being asked, to say we are.
2293 95 Orlando doth commend him to you both,
2295 He sends this bloody napkin. Are you he?
⌜He shows a stained handkerchief.⌝
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
2296 I am. What must we understand by this?
2297 Some of my shame, if you will know of me
2298 100 What man I am, and how, and why, and where
2299 This handkercher was stained.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝ 2300 I pray you tell it.
2301 When last the young Orlando parted from you,
2302 He left a promise to return again
2303 105 Within an hour, and pacing through the forest,
2304 Chewing the food of sweet and bitter fancy,
2305 Lo, what befell. He threw his eye aside—
2306 And mark what object did present itself:
2307 Under an old oak, whose boughs were mossed with
2308 110 age
2309 And high top bald with dry antiquity,
2310 A wretched, ragged man, o’ergrown with hair,
2311 Lay sleeping on his back. About his neck
2312 A green and gilded snake had wreathed itself,
2313 115 Who with her head, nimble in threats, approached
2314 The opening of his mouth. But suddenly,
2315 Seeing Orlando, it unlinked itself
2316 And, with indented glides, did slip away
2317 Into a bush, under which bush’s shade
2318 120 A lioness, with udders all drawn dry,
2319 Lay couching, head on ground, with catlike watch
2320 When that the sleeping man should stir—for ’tis
2321 The royal disposition of that beast
2322 To prey on nothing that doth seem as dead.
2323 125 This seen, Orlando did approach the man
2324 And found it was his brother, his elder brother.
2325 O, I have heard him speak of that same brother,
2326 And he did render him the most unnatural
2327 That lived amongst men.
OLIVER 2328 130 And well he might so do,
2329 For well I know he was unnatural.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
2330 But to Orlando: did he leave him there,
2331 Food to the sucked and hungry lioness?
2332 Twice did he turn his back and purposed so,
2333 135 But kindness, nobler ever than revenge,
2334 And nature, stronger than his just occasion,
2335 Made him give battle to the lioness,
2336 Who quickly fell before him; in which hurtling,
2337 From miserable slumber I awaked.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝ 2338 140Are you his brother?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2339 Was ’t you he rescued?
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝
2340 Was ’t you that did so oft contrive to kill him?
2341 ’Twas I, but ’tis not I. I do not shame
2342 To tell you what I was, since my conversion
2343 145 So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
2344 But for the bloody napkin?
OLIVER 2345 By and by.
2346 When from the first to last betwixt us two
2347 Tears our recountments had most kindly bathed—
2348 150 As how I came into that desert place—
2349 ⌜In⌝ brief, he led me to the gentle duke,
2350 Who gave me fresh array and entertainment,
2351 Committing me unto my brother’s love;
2352 Who led me instantly unto his cave,
2353 155 There stripped himself, and here upon his arm
2354 The lioness had torn some flesh away,
2356 And cried in fainting upon Rosalind.
2357 Brief, I recovered him, bound up his wound,
2358 160 And after some small space, being strong at heart,
2359 He sent me hither, stranger as I am,
2360 To tell this story, that you might excuse
2361 His broken promise, and to give this napkin
2362 Dyed in ⌜his⌝ blood unto the shepherd youth
2363 165 That he in sport doth call his Rosalind.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝
2364 Why, how now, Ganymede, sweet Ganymede?
2365 Many will swoon when they do look on blood.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝
2366 There is more in it.—Cousin Ganymede.
OLIVER 2367 Look, he recovers.
ROSALIND 2368 170I would I were at home.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝ 2369 We’ll lead you thither.—I pray you,
2370 will you take him by the arm?
OLIVER, ⌜helping Rosalind to rise⌝ 2371 Be of good cheer,
2372 youth. You a man? You lack a man’s heart.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2373 175I do so, I confess it. Ah,
2374 sirrah, a body would think this was well-counterfeited.
2375 I pray you tell your brother how well I
2376 counterfeited. Heigh-ho.
OLIVER 2377 This was not counterfeit. There is too great
2378 180 testimony in your complexion that it was a passion
2379 of earnest.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2380 Counterfeit, I assure you.
OLIVER 2381 Well then, take a good heart, and counterfeit to
2382 be a man.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2383 185So I do; but, i’ faith, I should
2384 have been a woman by right.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝ 2385 Come, you look paler and paler. Pray
2386 you draw homewards.—Good sir, go with us.
2387 That will I, for I must bear answer back
2388 190 How you excuse my brother, Rosalind.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2389 I shall devise something.
2390 But I pray you commend my counterfeiting to him.
2391 Will you go?
TOUCHSTONE 2392 We shall find a time, Audrey. Patience,
2393 gentle Audrey.
AUDREY 2394 Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the
2395 old gentleman’s saying.
TOUCHSTONE 2396 5A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most
2397 vile Martext. But Audrey, there is a youth here in
2398 the forest lays claim to you.
AUDREY 2399 Ay, I know who ’tis. He hath no interest in me
2400 in the world.
2401 10 Here comes the man you mean.
TOUCHSTONE 2402 It is meat and drink to me to see a clown.
2403 By my troth, we that have good wits have much to
2404 answer for. We shall be flouting. We cannot hold.
WILLIAM 2405 Good ev’n, Audrey.
AUDREY 2406 15God gi’ good ev’n, William.
WILLIAM, ⌜to Touchstone⌝ 2407 And good ev’n to you, sir.
TOUCHSTONE 2408 Good ev’n, gentle friend. Cover thy head,
2409 cover thy head. Nay, prithee, be covered. How old
2410 are you, friend?
WILLIAM 2411 20Five-and-twenty, sir.
TOUCHSTONE 2412 A ripe age. Is thy name William?
WILLIAM 2413 William, sir.
WILLIAM 2415 Ay, sir, I thank God.
TOUCHSTONE 2416 25“Thank God.” A good answer. Art rich?
WILLIAM 2417 ’Faith sir, so-so.
TOUCHSTONE 2418 “So-so” is good, very good, very excellent
2419 good. And yet it is not: it is but so-so. Art thou wise?
WILLIAM 2420 Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
TOUCHSTONE 2421 30Why, thou sayst well. I do now remember
2422 a saying: “The fool doth think he is wise, but the
2423 wise man knows himself to be a fool.” The heathen
2424 philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape,
2425 would open his lips when he put it into his mouth,
2426 35 meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and
2427 lips to open. You do love this maid?
WILLIAM 2428 I do, ⌜sir.⌝
TOUCHSTONE 2429 Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
WILLIAM 2430 No, sir.
TOUCHSTONE 2431 40Then learn this of me: to have is to have.
2432 For it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured
2433 out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth
2434 empty the other. For all your writers do consent
2435 that ipse is “he.” Now, you are not ipse, for I am he.
WILLIAM 2436 45Which he, sir?
TOUCHSTONE 2437 He, sir, that must marry this woman.
2438 Therefore, you clown, abandon—which is in the
2439 vulgar “leave”—the society—which in the boorish
2440 is “company”—of this female—which in the common
2441 50 is “woman”; which together is, abandon the
2442 society of this female, or, clown, thou perishest; or,
2443 to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit, I kill
2444 thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death,
2445 thy liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison with
2446 55 thee, or in bastinado, or in steel. I will bandy with
2447 thee in faction. I will o’errun thee with ⌜policy.⌝ I
2448 will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways. Therefore
2449 tremble and depart.
WILLIAM, ⌜to Touchstone⌝ 2451 60God rest you merry, sir.
CORIN 2452 Our master and mistress seeks you. Come away,
TOUCHSTONE 2454 Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey.—I attend, I
ORLANDO 2456 Is ’t possible that on so little acquaintance
2457 you should like her? That, but seeing, you should
2458 love her? And loving, woo? And wooing, she should
2459 grant? And will you persever to enjoy her?
OLIVER 2460 5Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the
2461 poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden
2462 wooing, nor ⌜her⌝ sudden consenting, but say with
2463 me “I love Aliena”; say with her that she loves me;
2464 consent with both that we may enjoy each other. It
2465 10 shall be to your good, for my father’s house and all
2466 the revenue that was old Sir Rowland’s will I estate
2467 upon you, and here live and die a shepherd.
Enter Rosalind, ⌜as Ganymede.⌝
ORLANDO 2468 You have my consent. Let your wedding be
2469 tomorrow. Thither will I invite the Duke and all ’s
2470 15 contented followers. Go you and prepare Aliena,
2471 for, look you, here comes my Rosalind.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede, to Oliver⌝ 2472 God save you,
OLIVER 2474 And you, fair sister.⌜He exits.⌝
2476 grieves me to see thee wear thy heart in a scarf.
ORLANDO 2477 It is my arm.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2478 I thought thy heart had been
2479 wounded with the claws of a lion.
ORLANDO 2480 25Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2481 Did your brother tell you
2482 how I counterfeited to swoon when he showed me
2483 your handkercher?
ORLANDO 2484 Ay, and greater wonders than that.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2485 30O, I know where you are.
2486 Nay, ’tis true. There was never anything so sudden
2487 but the fight of two rams, and Caesar’s thrasonical
2488 brag of “I came, saw, and ⌜overcame.⌝” For your
2489 brother and my sister no sooner met but they
2490 35 looked, no sooner looked but they loved, no sooner
2491 loved but they sighed, no sooner sighed but they
2492 asked one another the reason, no sooner knew the
2493 reason but they sought the remedy; and in these
2494 degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage,
2495 40 which they will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent
2496 before marriage. They are in the very wrath
2497 of love, and they will together. Clubs cannot part
ORLANDO 2499 They shall be married tomorrow, and I will
2500 45 bid the Duke to the nuptial. But O, how bitter a
2501 thing it is to look into happiness through another
2502 man’s eyes. By so much the more shall I tomorrow
2503 be at the height of heart-heaviness by how much I
2504 shall think my brother happy in having what he
2505 50 wishes for.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2506 Why, then, tomorrow I cannot
2507 serve your turn for Rosalind?
ORLANDO 2508 I can live no longer by thinking.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2509 I will weary you then no
2510 55 longer with idle talking. Know of me then—for
2512 a gentleman of good conceit. I speak not this that
2513 you should bear a good opinion of my knowledge,
2514 insomuch I say I know you ⌜are.⌝ Neither do I labor
2515 60 for a greater esteem than may in some little measure
2516 draw a belief from you to do yourself good, and
2517 not to grace me. Believe then, if you please, that I
2518 can do strange things. I have, since I was three year
2519 old, conversed with a magician, most profound in
2520 65 his art and yet not damnable. If you do love Rosalind
2521 so near the heart as your gesture cries it out,
2522 when your brother marries Aliena shall you marry
2523 her. I know into what straits of fortune she is
2524 driven, and it is not impossible to me, if it appear
2525 70 not inconvenient to you, to set her before your eyes
2526 tomorrow, human as she is, and without any
ORLANDO 2528 Speak’st thou in sober meanings?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2529 By my life I do, which I
2530 75 tender dearly, though I say I am a magician. Therefore
2531 put you in your best array, bid your friends; for
2532 if you will be married tomorrow, you shall, and to
2533 Rosalind, if you will.
Enter Silvius and Phoebe.
2534 Look, here comes a lover of mine and a lover of
2535 80 hers.
PHOEBE, ⌜to Rosalind⌝
2536 Youth, you have done me much ungentleness
2537 To show the letter that I writ to you.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
2538 I care not if I have. It is my study
2539 To seem despiteful and ungentle to you.
2540 85 You are there followed by a faithful shepherd.
2541 Look upon him, love him; he worships you.
2542 Good shepherd, tell this youth what ’tis to love.
2543 It is to be all made of sighs and tears,
2544 And so am I for Phoebe.
PHOEBE 2545 90And I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO 2546 And I for Rosalind.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2547 And I for no woman.
2548 It is to be all made of faith and service,
2549 And so am I for Phoebe.
PHOEBE 2550 95And I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO 2551 And I for Rosalind.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2552 And I for no woman.
2553 It is to be all made of fantasy,
2554 All made of passion and all made of wishes,
2555 100 All adoration, duty, and observance,
2556 All humbleness, all patience and impatience,
2557 All purity, all trial, all observance,
2558 And so am I for Phoebe.
PHOEBE 2559 And so am I for Ganymede.
ORLANDO 2560 105And so am I for Rosalind.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2561 And so am I for no
2563 If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
2564 If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
2565 110 If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2566 Why do you speak too,
2567 “Why blame you me to love you?”
ORLANDO 2568 To her that is not here, nor doth not hear.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2569 Pray you, no more of this.
2571 moon. (⌜To Silvius.⌝) I will help you if I can. (⌜To
Phoebe.⌝) 2572 I would love you if I could.—Tomorrow
2573 meet me all together. (⌜To Phoebe.⌝) I will marry
2574 you if ever I marry woman, and I’ll be married
2575 120 tomorrow. (⌜To Orlando.⌝) I will satisfy you if ever I
2576 ⌜satisfy⌝ man, and you shall be married tomorrow.
2577 (⌜To Silvius.⌝) I will content you, if what pleases you
2578 contents you, and you shall be married tomorrow.
2579 (⌜To Orlando.⌝) As you love Rosalind, meet. (⌜To
Silvius.⌝) 2580 125As you love Phoebe, meet.—And as I love
2581 no woman, I’ll meet. So fare you well. I have left
2582 you commands.
SILVIUS 2583 I’ll not fail, if I live.
PHOEBE 2584 Nor I.
ORLANDO 2585 130Nor I.
TOUCHSTONE 2586 Tomorrow is the joyful day, Audrey. Tomorrow
2587 will we be married.
AUDREY 2588 I do desire it with all my heart, and I hope it is
2589 no dishonest desire to desire to be a woman of the
2590 5 world.
Enter two Pages.
2591 Here come two of the banished duke’s pages.
FIRST PAGE 2592 Well met, honest gentleman.
TOUCHSTONE 2593 By my troth, well met. Come, sit, sit, and
2594 a song.
SECOND PAGE 2595 10We are for you. Sit i’ th’ middle.
FIRST PAGE 2596 Shall we clap into ’t roundly, without
2598 are the only prologues to a bad voice?
SECOND PAGE 2599 I’ faith, i’ faith, and both in a tune like
2600 15 two gypsies on a horse.
2601 It was a lover and his lass,
2602 With a hey, and a ho, and a hey-nonny-no,
2603 That o’er the green cornfield did pass
2604 In springtime, the only pretty ⌜ring⌝ time,
2605 20 When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.
2606 Sweet lovers love the spring.
2607 Between the acres of the rye,
2608 With a hey, and a ho, and a hey-nonny-no,
2609 These pretty country folks would lie
2610 25 In springtime, the only pretty ⌜ring⌝ time,
2611 When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.
2612 Sweet lovers love the spring.
2613 This carol they began that hour,
2614 With a hey, and a ho, and a hey-nonny-no,
2615 30 How that a life was but a flower
2616 In springtime, the only pretty ⌜ring⌝ time,
2617 When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.
2618 Sweet lovers love the spring.
2619 And therefore take the present time,
2620 35 With a hey, and a ho, and a hey-nonny-no,
2621 For love is crownèd with the prime,
2622 In springtime, the only pretty ⌜ring⌝ time,
2623 When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.
2624 Sweet lovers love the spring.
2626 was no great matter in the ditty, yet the note was
2627 very untunable.
FIRST PAGE 2628 You are deceived, sir. We kept time. We lost
2629 not our time.
TOUCHSTONE 2630 45By my troth, yes. I count it but time lost
2631 to hear such a foolish song. God be wi’ you, and
2632 God mend your voices.—Come, Audrey.
They ⌜rise and⌝ exit.
⌜and⌝ Celia ⌜as Aliena.⌝
2633 Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy
2634 Can do all this that he hath promisèd?
2635 I sometimes do believe and sometimes do not,
2636 As those that fear they hope, and know they fear.
Enter Rosalind ⌜as Ganymede,⌝ Silvius, and Phoebe.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
2637 5 Patience once more whiles our compact is urged.
2638 ⌜To Duke.⌝ You say, if I bring in your Rosalind,
2639 You will bestow her on Orlando here?
2640 That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede, to Orlando⌝
2641 And you say you will have her when I bring her?
2642 10 That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede, to Phoebe⌝
2643 You say you’ll marry me if I be willing?
2644 That will I, should I die the hour after.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
2645 But if you do refuse to marry me,
2646 You’ll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?
PHOEBE 2647 15So is the bargain.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede, to Silvius⌝
2648 You say that you’ll have Phoebe if she will?
2649 Though to have her and death were both one thing.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝
2650 I have promised to make all this matter even.
2651 Keep you your word, O duke, to give your
2652 20 daughter,—
2653 You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter.—
2654 Keep you your word, Phoebe, that you’ll marry me,
2655 Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd.—
2656 Keep your word, Silvius, that you’ll marry her
2657 25 If she refuse me. And from hence I go
2658 To make these doubts all even.
Rosalind and Celia exit.
2659 I do remember in this shepherd boy
2660 Some lively touches of my daughter’s favor.
2661 My lord, the first time that I ever saw him
2662 30 Methought he was a brother to your daughter.
2663 But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born
2664 And hath been tutored in the rudiments
2665 Of many desperate studies by his uncle,
2666 Whom he reports to be a great magician
2667 35 Obscurèd in the circle of this forest.
Enter ⌜Touchstone⌝ and Audrey.
JAQUES 2668 There is sure another flood toward, and these
2669 couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of
TOUCHSTONE 2672 40Salutation and greeting to you all.
JAQUES, ⌜to Duke⌝ 2673 Good my lord, bid him welcome.
2674 This is the motley-minded gentleman that I have so
2675 often met in the forest. He hath been a courtier, he
TOUCHSTONE 2677 45If any man doubt that, let him put me to
2678 my purgation. I have trod a measure. I have flattered
2679 a lady. I have been politic with my friend,
2680 smooth with mine enemy. I have undone three
2681 tailors. I have had four quarrels, and like to have
2682 50 fought one.
JAQUES 2683 And how was that ta’en up?
TOUCHSTONE 2684 Faith, we met and found the quarrel was
2685 upon the seventh cause.
JAQUES 2686 How “seventh cause”?—Good my lord, like
2687 55 this fellow.
DUKE SENIOR 2688 I like him very well.
TOUCHSTONE 2689 God ’ild you, sir. I desire you of the like. I
2690 press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country
2691 copulatives, to swear and to forswear, according as
2692 60 marriage binds and blood breaks. A poor virgin, sir,
2693 an ill-favored thing, sir, but mine own. A poor
2694 humor of mine, sir, to take that that no man else
2695 will. Rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor
2696 house, as your pearl in your foul oyster.
DUKE SENIOR 2697 65By my faith, he is very swift and
TOUCHSTONE 2699 According to the fool’s bolt, sir, and such
2700 dulcet diseases.
JAQUES 2701 But for the seventh cause. How did you find the
2702 70 quarrel on the seventh cause?
TOUCHSTONE 2703 Upon a lie seven times removed.—Bear
2704 your body more seeming, Audrey.—As thus, sir: I
2705 did dislike the cut of a certain courtier’s beard. He
2707 75 was in the mind it was. This is called “the retort
2708 courteous.” If I sent him word again it was not well
2709 cut, he would send me word he cut it to please
2710 himself. This is called “the quip modest.” If again it
2711 was not well cut, he disabled my judgment. This is
2712 80 called “the reply churlish.” If again it was not well
2713 cut, he would answer I spake not true. This is called
2714 “the reproof valiant.” If again it was not well cut, he
2715 would say I lie. This is called “the countercheck
2716 quarrelsome,” and so to “⌜the⌝ lie circumstantial,”
2717 85 and “the lie direct.”
JAQUES 2718 And how oft did you say his beard was not well
TOUCHSTONE 2720 I durst go no further than the lie circumstantial,
2721 nor he durst not give me the lie direct, and
2722 90 so we measured swords and parted.
JAQUES 2723 Can you nominate in order now the degrees of
2724 the lie?
TOUCHSTONE 2725 O sir, we quarrel in print, by the book, as
2726 you have books for good manners. I will name you
2727 95 the degrees: the first, “the retort courteous”; the
2728 second, “the quip modest”; the third, “the reply
2729 churlish”; the fourth, “the reproof valiant”; the
2730 fifth, “the countercheck quarrelsome”; the sixth,
2731 “the lie with circumstance”; the seventh, “the lie
2732 100 direct.” All these you may avoid but the lie direct,
2733 and you may avoid that too with an “if.” I knew
2734 when seven justices could not take up a quarrel, but
2735 when the parties were met themselves, one of them
2736 thought but of an “if,” as: “If you said so, then I said
2737 105 so.” And they shook hands and swore brothers.
2738 Your “if” is the only peacemaker: much virtue in
JAQUES, ⌜to Duke⌝ 2740 Is not this a rare fellow, my lord?
2741 He’s as good at anything and yet a fool.
2743 and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit.
Enter Hymen, Rosalind, and Celia. Still music.
2744 Then is there mirth in heaven
2745 When earthly things made even
2746 Atone together.
2747 115 Good duke, receive thy daughter.
2748 Hymen from heaven brought her,
2749 Yea, brought her hither,
2750 That thou mightst join ⌜her⌝ hand with his,
2751 Whose heart within his bosom is.
ROSALIND, ⌜to Duke⌝
2752 120 To you I give myself, for I am yours.
2753 ⌜To Orlando.⌝ To you I give myself, for I am yours.
2754 If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.
2755 If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.
2756 If sight and shape be true,
2757 125 Why then, my love adieu.
ROSALIND, ⌜to Duke⌝
2758 I’ll have no father, if you be not he.
2759 ⌜To Orlando.⌝ I’ll have no husband, if you be not he,
2760 ⌜To Phoebe.⌝ Nor ne’er wed woman, if you be not
2762 130 Peace, ho! I bar confusion.
2763 ’Tis I must make conclusion
2764 Of these most strange events.
2765 Here’s eight that must take hands
2766 To join in Hymen’s bands,
2767 135 If truth holds true contents.
2768 You and you no cross shall part.
⌜To Celia and Oliver.⌝
2769 You and you are heart in heart.
2770 You to his love must accord
2771 Or have a woman to your lord.
⌜To Audrey and Touchstone.⌝
2772 140 You and you are sure together
2773 As the winter to foul weather.
2774 Whiles a wedlock hymn we sing,
2775 Feed yourselves with questioning,
2776 That reason wonder may diminish
2777 145 How thus we met, and these things finish.
2778 Wedding is great Juno’s crown,
2779 O blessèd bond of board and bed.
2780 ’Tis Hymen peoples every town.
2781 High wedlock then be honorèd.
2782 150 Honor, high honor, and renown
2783 To Hymen, god of every town.
DUKE SENIOR, ⌜to Celia⌝
2784 O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me,
2785 Even daughter, welcome in no less degree.
PHOEBE, ⌜to Silvius⌝
2786 I will not eat my word. Now thou art mine,
2787 155 Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine.
Enter Second Brother, ⌜Jaques de Boys.⌝
2788 Let me have audience for a word or two.
2789 I am the second son of old Sir Rowland,
2790 That bring these tidings to this fair assembly.
2792 160 Men of great worth resorted to this forest,
2793 Addressed a mighty power, which were on foot
2794 In his own conduct, purposely to take
2795 His brother here and put him to the sword;
2796 And to the skirts of this wild wood he came,
2797 165 Where, meeting with an old religious man,
2798 After some question with him, was converted
2799 Both from his enterprise and from the world,
2800 His crown bequeathing to his banished brother,
2801 And all their lands restored to ⌜them⌝ again
2802 170 That were with him exiled. This to be true
2803 I do engage my life.
DUKE SENIOR 2804 Welcome, young man.
2805 Thou offer’st fairly to thy brothers’ wedding:
2806 To one his lands withheld, and to the other
2807 175 A land itself at large, a potent dukedom.—
2808 First, in this forest let us do those ends
2809 That here were well begun and well begot,
2810 And, after, every of this happy number
2811 That have endured shrewd days and nights with us
2812 180 Shall share the good of our returnèd fortune
2813 According to the measure of their states.
2814 Meantime, forget this new-fall’n dignity,
2815 And fall into our rustic revelry.—
2816 Play, music.—And you brides and bridegrooms all,
2817 185 With measure heaped in joy to th’ measures fall.
JAQUES, ⌜to Second Brother⌝
2818 Sir, by your patience: if I heard you rightly,
2819 The Duke hath put on a religious life
2820 And thrown into neglect the pompous court.
SECOND BROTHER 2821 He hath.
2822 190 To him will I. Out of these convertites
2823 There is much matter to be heard and learned.
2825 Your patience and your virtue well deserves it.
2826 ⌜To Orlando.⌝ You to a love that your true faith doth
2827 195 merit.
2828 ⌜To Oliver.⌝ You to your land, and love, and great
2830 ⌜To Silvius.⌝ You to a long and well-deservèd bed.
2831 ⌜To Touchstone.⌝ And you to wrangling, for thy
2832 200 loving voyage
2833 Is but for two months victualled.—So to your
2835 I am for other than for dancing measures.
DUKE SENIOR 2836 Stay, Jaques, stay.
2837 205 To see no pastime, I. What you would have
2838 I’ll stay to know at your abandoned cave.He exits.
2839 Proceed, proceed. We’ll begin these rites,
2840 As we do trust they’ll end, in true delights.
⌜Dance. All but Rosalind⌝ exit.
ROSALIND 2841 It is not the fashion to see the lady the
2842 epilogue, but it is no more unhandsome than to see
2843 the lord the prologue. If it be true that good wine
2844 needs no bush, ’tis true that a good play needs no
2845 5 epilogue. Yet to good wine they do use good bushes,
2846 and good plays prove the better by the help of good
2847 epilogues. What a case am I in then that am neither
2848 a good epilogue nor cannot insinuate with you in
2849 the behalf of a good play! I am not furnished like a
2850 10 beggar; therefore to beg will not become me. My
2851 way is to conjure you, and I’ll begin with the
2852 women. I charge you, O women, for the love you
2853 bear to men, to like as much of this play as please
2854 you. And I charge you, O men, for the love you bear
2855 15 to women—as I perceive by your simpering, none
2856 of you hates them—that between you and the
2857 women the play may please. If I were a woman, I
2858 would kiss as many of you as had beards that
2859 pleased me, complexions that liked me, and breaths
2860 20 that I defied not. And I am sure as many as have
2861 good beards, or good faces, or sweet breaths will for
2862 my kind offer, when I make curtsy, bid me farewell.