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As You Like It - Act 3, scene 2
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Navigate this workAs You Like It - Act 3, scene 2
Act 3, scene 2
Orlando hangs poems in praise of Rosalind on trees in the forest, where Rosalind and Celia find them. In disguise as Ganymede, Rosalind meets Orlando and tells him she can cure his lovesickness if he will pretend that she is Rosalind and come every day to court her. Orlando agrees.Enter Orlando, ⌜with a paper.⌝
1189 Hang there, my verse, in witness of my love.
1190 And thou, thrice-crownèd queen of night, survey
1191 With thy chaste eye, from thy pale sphere above,
1192 Thy huntress’ name that my full life doth sway.
1193 5 O Rosalind, these trees shall be my books,
1194 And in their barks my thoughts I’ll character,
1195 That every eye which in this forest looks
1196 Shall see thy virtue witnessed everywhere.
1197 Run, run, Orlando, carve on every tree
1198 10 The fair, the chaste, and unexpressive she.
Enter Corin and ⌜Touchstone.⌝
CORIN 1199 And how like you this shepherd’s life, Master
TOUCHSTONE 1201 Truly, shepherd, in respect of itself, it is a
1202 good life; but in respect that it is a shepherd’s life, it
1203 15 is naught. In respect that it is solitary, I like it very
1204 well; but in respect that it is private, it is a very vile
1205 life. Now in respect it is in the fields, it pleaseth me
1206 well; but in respect it is not in the court, it is
1207 tedious. As it is a spare life, look you, it fits my
1208 20 humor well; but as there is no more plenty in it, it
1209 goes much against my stomach. Hast any philosophy
1210 in thee, shepherd?
CORIN 1211 No more but that I know the more one sickens,
1212 the worse at ease he is, and that he that wants
1213 25 money, means, and content is without three good
1214 friends; that the property of rain is to wet, and fire
1215 to burn; that good pasture makes fat sheep; and that
1216 a great cause of the night is lack of the sun; that he
1217 that hath learned no wit by nature nor art may
p. 951218 30 complain of good breeding or comes of a very dull
TOUCHSTONE 1220 Such a one is a natural philosopher. Wast
1221 ever in court, shepherd?
CORIN 1222 No, truly.
TOUCHSTONE 1223 35Then thou art damned.
CORIN 1224 Nay, I hope.
TOUCHSTONE 1225 Truly, thou art damned, like an ill-roasted
1226 egg, all on one side.
CORIN 1227 For not being at court? Your reason.
TOUCHSTONE 1228 40Why, if thou never wast at court, thou
1229 never saw’st good manners; if thou never saw’st
1230 good manners, then thy manners must be wicked,
1231 and wickedness is sin, and sin is damnation. Thou
1232 art in a parlous state, shepherd.
CORIN 1233 45Not a whit, Touchstone. Those that are good
1234 manners at the court are as ridiculous in the
1235 country as the behavior of the country is most
1236 mockable at the court. You told me you salute not at
1237 the court but you kiss your hands. That courtesy
1238 50 would be uncleanly if courtiers were shepherds.
TOUCHSTONE 1239 Instance, briefly. Come, instance.
CORIN 1240 Why, we are still handling our ewes, and their
1241 fells, you know, are greasy.
TOUCHSTONE 1242 Why, do not your courtier’s hands sweat?
1243 55 And is not the grease of a mutton as wholesome as
1244 the sweat of a man? Shallow, shallow. A better
1245 instance, I say. Come.
CORIN 1246 Besides, our hands are hard.
TOUCHSTONE 1247 Your lips will feel them the sooner. Shallow
1248 60 again. A more sounder instance. Come.
CORIN 1249 And they are often tarred over with the surgery
1250 of our sheep; and would you have us kiss tar? The
1251 courtier’s hands are perfumed with civet.
TOUCHSTONE 1252 Most shallow man. Thou worms’ meat in
1253 65 respect of a good piece of flesh, indeed. Learn of the
p. 971254 wise and perpend: civet is of a baser birth than tar,
1255 the very uncleanly flux of a cat. Mend the instance,
CORIN 1257 You have too courtly a wit for me. I’ll rest.
TOUCHSTONE 1258 70Wilt thou rest damned? God help thee,
1259 shallow man. God make incision in thee; thou art
CORIN 1261 Sir, I am a true laborer. I earn that I eat, get that
1262 I wear, owe no man hate, envy no man’s happiness,
1263 75 glad of other men’s good, content with my harm,
1264 and the greatest of my pride is to see my ewes graze
1265 and my lambs suck.
TOUCHSTONE 1266 That is another simple sin in you, to bring
1267 the ewes and the rams together and to offer to get
1268 80 your living by the copulation of cattle; to be bawd to
1269 a bell-wether and to betray a she-lamb of a twelvemonth
1270 to a crooked-pated old cuckoldly ram, out of
1271 all reasonable match. If thou be’st not damned for
1272 this, the devil himself will have no shepherds. I
1273 85 cannot see else how thou shouldst ’scape.
Enter Rosalind, ⌜as Ganymede.⌝
CORIN 1274 Here comes young Master Ganymede, my new
1275 mistress’s brother.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede, reading a paper⌝
1276 From the east to western Ind
1277 No jewel is like Rosalind.
1278 90 Her worth being mounted on the wind,
1279 Through all the world bears Rosalind.
1280 All the pictures fairest lined
1281 Are but black to Rosalind.
1282 Let no face be kept in mind
1283 95 But the fair of Rosalind.
TOUCHSTONE 1284 I’ll rhyme you so eight years together,
1285 dinners and suppers and sleeping hours excepted.
1286 It is the right butter-women’s rank to market.
p. 99ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1287 Out, fool.
TOUCHSTONE 1288 100For a taste:
1289 If a hart do lack a hind,
1290 Let him seek out Rosalind.
1291 If the cat will after kind,
1292 So be sure will Rosalind.
1293 105 Wintered garments must be lined;
1294 So must slender Rosalind.
1295 They that reap must sheaf and bind;
1296 Then to cart with Rosalind.
1297 Sweetest nut hath sourest rind;
1298 110 Such a nut is Rosalind.
1299 He that sweetest rose will find
1300 Must find love’s prick, and Rosalind.
1301 This is the very false gallop of verses. Why do you
1302 infect yourself with them?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1303 115Peace, you dull fool. I found
1304 them on a tree.
TOUCHSTONE 1305 Truly, the tree yields bad fruit.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1306 I’ll graft it with you, and
1307 then I shall graft it with a medlar. Then it will be
1308 120 the earliest fruit i’ th’ country, for you’ll be rotten
1309 ere you be half ripe, and that’s the right virtue of
1310 the medlar.
TOUCHSTONE 1311 You have said, but whether wisely or no,
1312 let the forest judge.
Enter Celia, ⌜as Aliena,⌝ with a writing.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1313 125Peace. Here comes my sister
1314 reading. Stand aside.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena, reads⌝
1315 Why should this ⌜a⌝ desert be?
1316 For it is unpeopled? No.
1317 Tongues I’ll hang on every tree
1318 130 That shall civil sayings show.
1319 Some how brief the life of man
1320 Runs his erring pilgrimage,
p. 1011321 That the stretching of a span
1322 Buckles in his sum of age;
1323 135 Some of violated vows
1324 ’Twixt the souls of friend and friend.
1325 But upon the fairest boughs,
1326 Or at every sentence’ end,
1327 Will I “Rosalinda” write,
1328 140 Teaching all that read to know
1329 The quintessence of every sprite
1330 Heaven would in little show.
1331 Therefore heaven nature charged
1332 That one body should be filled
1333 145 With all graces wide-enlarged.
1334 Nature presently distilled
1335 Helen’s cheek, but not ⌜her⌝ heart,
1336 Cleopatra’s majesty,
1337 Atalanta’s better part,
1338 150 Sad Lucretia’s modesty.
1339 Thus Rosalind of many parts
1340 By heavenly synod was devised
1341 Of many faces, eyes, and hearts
1342 To have the touches dearest prized.
1343 155 Heaven would that she these gifts should have
1344 And I to live and die her slave.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1345 O most gentle Jupiter, what
1346 tedious homily of love have you wearied your parishioners
1347 withal, and never cried “Have patience,
1348 160 good people!”
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝ 1349 How now?—Back, friends. Shepherd,
1350 go off a little.—Go with him, sirrah.
TOUCHSTONE 1351 Come, shepherd, let us make an honorable
1352 retreat, though not with bag and baggage, yet
1353 165 with scrip and scrippage.
⌜Touchstone and Corin⌝ exit.
CELIA 1354 Didst thou hear these verses?
ROSALIND 1355 O yes, I heard them all, and more too, for
p. 1031356 some of them had in them more feet than the verses
1357 would bear.
CELIA 1358 170That’s no matter. The feet might bear the verses.
ROSALIND 1359 Ay, but the feet were lame and could not
1360 bear themselves without the verse, and therefore
1361 stood lamely in the verse.
CELIA 1362 But didst thou hear without wondering how thy
1363 175 name should be hanged and carved upon these
ROSALIND 1365 I was seven of the nine days out of the
1366 wonder before you came, for look here what I
1367 found on a palm tree. ⌜She shows the paper she
read.⌝ 1368 180I was never so berhymed since Pythagoras’
1369 time that I was an Irish rat, which I can hardly
CELIA 1371 Trow you who hath done this?
ROSALIND 1372 Is it a man?
CELIA 1373 185And a chain, that you once wore, about his neck.
1374 Change you color?
ROSALIND 1375 I prithee, who?
CELIA 1376 O Lord, Lord, it is a hard matter for friends to
1377 meet, but mountains may be removed with earthquakes
1378 190 and so encounter.
ROSALIND 1379 Nay, but who is it?
CELIA 1380 Is it possible?
ROSALIND 1381 Nay, I prithee now, with most petitionary
1382 vehemence, tell me who it is.
CELIA 1383 195O wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful
1384 wonderful, and yet again wonderful, and after that
1385 out of all whooping!
ROSALIND 1386 Good my complexion, dost thou think
1387 though I am caparisoned like a man, I have a
1388 200 doublet and hose in my disposition? One inch of
1389 delay more is a South Sea of discovery. I prithee,
1390 tell me who is it quickly, and speak apace. I would
1391 thou couldst stammer, that thou might’st pour this
p. 1051392 concealed man out of thy mouth as wine comes out
1393 205 of a narrow-mouthed bottle—either too much at
1394 once, or none at all. I prithee take the cork out of
1395 thy mouth, that I may drink thy tidings.
CELIA 1396 So you may put a man in your belly.
ROSALIND 1397 Is he of God’s making? What manner of
1398 210 man? Is his head worth a hat, or his chin worth a
CELIA 1400 Nay, he hath but a little beard.
ROSALIND 1401 Why, God will send more, if the man will be
1402 thankful. Let me stay the growth of his beard, if
1403 215 thou delay me not the knowledge of his chin.
CELIA 1404 It is young Orlando, that tripped up the wrestler’s
1405 heels and your heart both in an instant.
ROSALIND 1406 Nay, but the devil take mocking. Speak sad
1407 brow and true maid.
CELIA 1408 220I’ faith, coz, ’tis he.
ROSALIND 1409 Orlando?
CELIA 1410 Orlando.
ROSALIND 1411 Alas the day, what shall I do with my doublet
1412 and hose? What did he when thou saw’st him? What
1413 225 said he? How looked he? Wherein went he? What
1414 makes he here? Did he ask for me? Where remains
1415 he? How parted he with thee? And when shalt thou
1416 see him again? Answer me in one word.
CELIA 1417 You must borrow me Gargantua’s mouth first.
1418 230 ’Tis a word too great for any mouth of this age’s size.
1419 To say ay and no to these particulars is more than to
1420 answer in a catechism.
ROSALIND 1421 But doth he know that I am in this forest and
1422 in man’s apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the
1423 235 day he wrestled?
CELIA 1424 It is as easy to count atomies as to resolve the
1425 propositions of a lover. But take a taste of my
1426 finding him, and relish it with good observance. I
1427 found him under a tree like a dropped acorn.
p. 107ROSALIND 1428 240It may well be called Jove’s tree when it
1429 drops forth ⌜such⌝ fruit.
CELIA 1430 Give me audience, good madam.
ROSALIND 1431 Proceed.
CELIA 1432 There lay he, stretched along like a wounded
1433 245 knight.
ROSALIND 1434 Though it be pity to see such a sight, it well
1435 becomes the ground.
CELIA 1436 Cry “holla” to ⌜thy⌝ tongue, I prithee. It curvets
1437 unseasonably. He was furnished like a hunter.
ROSALIND 1438 250O, ominous! He comes to kill my heart.
CELIA 1439 I would sing my song without a burden. Thou
1440 bring’st me out of tune.
ROSALIND 1441 Do you not know I am a woman? When I
1442 think, I must speak. Sweet, say on.
CELIA 1443 255You bring me out.
Enter Orlando and Jaques.
1444 Soft, comes he not here?
ROSALIND 1445 ’Tis he. Slink by, and note him.
⌜Rosalind and Celia step aside.⌝
JAQUES, ⌜to Orlando⌝ 1446 I thank you for your company,
1447 but, good faith, I had as lief have been myself alone.
ORLANDO 1448 260And so had I, but yet, for fashion sake, I
1449 thank you too for your society.
JAQUES 1450 God be wi’ you. Let’s meet as little as we can.
ORLANDO 1451 I do desire we may be better strangers.
JAQUES 1452 I pray you mar no more trees with writing love
1453 265 songs in their barks.
ORLANDO 1454 I pray you mar no more of my verses with
1455 reading them ill-favoredly.
JAQUES 1456 Rosalind is your love’s name?
ORLANDO 1457 Yes, just.
JAQUES 1458 270I do not like her name.
ORLANDO 1459 There was no thought of pleasing you when
1460 she was christened.
p. 109JAQUES 1461 What stature is she of?
ORLANDO 1462 Just as high as my heart.
JAQUES 1463 275You are full of pretty answers. Have you not
1464 been acquainted with goldsmiths’ wives and
1465 conned them out of rings?
ORLANDO 1466 Not so. But I answer you right painted cloth,
1467 from whence you have studied your questions.
JAQUES 1468 280You have a nimble wit. I think ’twas made of
1469 Atalanta’s heels. Will you sit down with me? And we
1470 two will rail against our mistress the world and all
1471 our misery.
ORLANDO 1472 I will chide no breather in the world but
1473 285 myself, against whom I know most faults.
JAQUES 1474 The worst fault you have is to be in love.
ORLANDO 1475 ’Tis a fault I will not change for your best
1476 virtue. I am weary of you.
JAQUES 1477 By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I
1478 290 found you.
ORLANDO 1479 He is drowned in the brook. Look but in, and
1480 you shall see him.
JAQUES 1481 There I shall see mine own figure.
ORLANDO 1482 Which I take to be either a fool or a cipher.
JAQUES 1483 295I’ll tarry no longer with you. Farewell, good
1484 Signior Love.
ORLANDO 1485 I am glad of your departure. Adieu, good
1486 Monsieur Melancholy.⌜Jaques exits.⌝
ROSALIND, ⌜aside to Celia⌝ 1487 I will speak to him like a
1488 300 saucy lackey, and under that habit play the knave
1489 with him. ⌜As Ganymede.⌝ Do you hear, forester?
ORLANDO 1490 Very well. What would you?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1491 I pray you, what is ’t
ORLANDO 1493 305You should ask me what time o’ day. There’s
1494 no clock in the forest.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1495 Then there is no true lover
1496 in the forest; else sighing every minute and
p. 1111497 groaning every hour would detect the lazy foot of
1498 310 time as well as a clock.
ORLANDO 1499 And why not the swift foot of time? Had not
1500 that been as proper?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1501 By no means, sir. Time
1502 travels in divers paces with divers persons. I’ll tell
1503 315 you who time ambles withal, who time trots withal,
1504 who time gallops withal, and who he stands still
ORLANDO 1506 I prithee, who doth he trot withal?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1507 Marry, he trots hard with a
1508 320 young maid between the contract of her marriage
1509 and the day it is solemnized. If the interim be but a
1510 se’nnight, time’s pace is so hard that it seems the
1511 length of seven year.
ORLANDO 1512 Who ambles time withal?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1513 325With a priest that lacks Latin
1514 and a rich man that hath not the gout, for the one
1515 sleeps easily because he cannot study, and the other
1516 lives merrily because he feels no pain—the one
1517 lacking the burden of lean and wasteful learning,
1518 330 the other knowing no burden of heavy tedious
1519 penury. These time ambles withal.
ORLANDO 1520 Who doth he gallop withal?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1521 With a thief to the gallows,
1522 for though he go as softly as foot can fall, he thinks
1523 335 himself too soon there.
ORLANDO 1524 Who stays it still withal?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1525 With lawyers in the vacation,
1526 for they sleep between term and term, and
1527 then they perceive not how time moves.
ORLANDO 1528 340Where dwell you, pretty youth?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1529 With this shepherdess, my
1530 sister, here in the skirts of the forest, like fringe
1531 upon a petticoat.
ORLANDO 1532 Are you native of this place?
p. 113ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1533 345As the cony that you see
1534 dwell where she is kindled.
ORLANDO 1535 Your accent is something finer than you
1536 could purchase in so removed a dwelling.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1537 I have been told so of many.
1538 350 But indeed an old religious uncle of mine taught
1539 me to speak, who was in his youth an inland man,
1540 one that knew courtship too well, for there he fell in
1541 love. I have heard him read many lectures against it,
1542 and I thank God I am not a woman, to be touched
1543 355 with so many giddy offenses as he hath generally
1544 taxed their whole sex withal.
ORLANDO 1545 Can you remember any of the principal evils
1546 that he laid to the charge of women?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1547 There were none principal.
1548 360 They were all like one another as halfpence are,
1549 every one fault seeming monstrous till his fellow
1550 fault came to match it.
ORLANDO 1551 I prithee recount some of them.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1552 No, I will not cast away my
1553 365 physic but on those that are sick. There is a man
1554 haunts the forest that abuses our young plants with
1555 carving “Rosalind” on their barks, hangs odes upon
1556 hawthorns and elegies on brambles, all, forsooth,
1557 ⌜deifying⌝ the name of Rosalind. If I could meet
1558 370 that fancy-monger, I would give him some good
1559 counsel, for he seems to have the quotidian of love
1560 upon him.
ORLANDO 1561 I am he that is so love-shaked. I pray you tell
1562 me your remedy.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1563 375There is none of my uncle’s
1564 marks upon you. He taught me how to know a man
1565 in love, in which cage of rushes I am sure you ⌜are⌝
1566 not prisoner.
ORLANDO 1567 What were his marks?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1568 380A lean cheek, which you
p. 1151569 have not; a blue eye and sunken, which you have
1570 not; an unquestionable spirit, which you have not; a
1571 beard neglected, which you have not—but I pardon
1572 you for that, for simply your having in beard is a
1573 385 younger brother’s revenue. Then your hose should
1574 be ungartered, your bonnet unbanded, your sleeve
1575 unbuttoned, your shoe untied, and everything
1576 about you demonstrating a careless desolation. But
1577 you are no such man. You are rather point-device in
1578 390 your accouterments, as loving yourself than seeming
1579 the lover of any other.
ORLANDO 1580 Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe
1581 I love.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1582 Me believe it? You may as
1583 395 soon make her that you love believe it, which I
1584 warrant she is apter to do than to confess she does.
1585 That is one of the points in the which women still
1586 give the lie to their consciences. But, in good sooth,
1587 are you he that hangs the verses on the trees
1588 400 wherein Rosalind is so admired?
ORLANDO 1589 I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of
1590 Rosalind, I am that he, that unfortunate he.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1591 But are you so much in love
1592 as your rhymes speak?
ORLANDO 1593 405Neither rhyme nor reason can express how
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1595 Love is merely a madness,
1596 and, I tell you, deserves as well a dark house and a
1597 whip as madmen do; and the reason why they are
1598 410 not so punished and cured is that the lunacy is so
1599 ordinary that the whippers are in love too. Yet I
1600 profess curing it by counsel.
ORLANDO 1601 Did you ever cure any so?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1602 Yes, one, and in this manner.
1603 415 He was to imagine me his love, his mistress,
1604 and I set him every day to woo me; at which time
p. 1171605 would I, being but a moonish youth, grieve, be
1606 effeminate, changeable, longing and liking, proud,
1607 fantastical, apish, shallow, inconstant, full of tears,
1608 420 full of smiles; for every passion something, and for
1609 no passion truly anything, as boys and women are,
1610 for the most part, cattle of this color; would now
1611 like him, now loathe him; then entertain him, then
1612 forswear him; now weep for him, then spit at him,
1613 425 that I drave my suitor from his mad humor of love
1614 to a living humor of madness, which was to forswear
1615 the full stream of the world and to live in a
1616 nook merely monastic. And thus I cured him, and
1617 this way will I take upon me to wash your liver as
1618 430 clean as a sound sheep’s heart, that there shall not
1619 be one spot of love in ’t.
ORLANDO 1620 I would not be cured, youth.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1621 I would cure you if you
1622 would but call me Rosalind and come every day to
1623 435 my cote and woo me.
ORLANDO 1624 Now, by the faith of my love, I will. Tell me
1625 where it is.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1626 Go with me to it, and I’ll
1627 show it you; and by the way you shall tell me where
1628 440 in the forest you live. Will you go?
ORLANDO 1629 With all my heart, good youth.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1630 Nay, you must call me
1631 Rosalind.—Come, sister, will you go?