As You Like It - Act 4, scene 1
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Act 4, scene 1
Rosalind, as Ganymede, pretends to be Rosalind while Orlando courts her. With Celia as priest, they go through the beginning of a wedding ceremony.Enter Rosalind ⌜as Ganymede,⌝ and Celia ⌜as Aliena,⌝
JAQUES 1949 I prithee, pretty youth, let me ⌜be⌝ better
1950 acquainted with thee.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1951 They say you are a melancholy
JAQUES 1953 5I am so. I do love it better than laughing.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1954 Those that are in extremity
1955 of either are abominable fellows and betray
1956 themselves to every modern censure worse than
JAQUES 1958 10Why, ’tis good to be sad and say nothing.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1959 Why then, ’tis good to be a
JAQUES 1961 I have neither the scholar’s melancholy, which
1962 is emulation; nor the musician’s, which is fantastical;
1963 15 nor the courtier’s, which is proud; nor the
1964 soldier’s, which is ambitious; nor the lawyer’s,
1965 which is politic; nor the lady’s, which is nice; nor
1966 the lover’s, which is all these; but it is a melancholy
1967 of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted
1968 20 from many objects, and indeed the sundry
1969 contemplation of my travels, in which ⌜my⌝ often
1970 rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1971 A traveller. By my faith, you
1973 25 your own lands to see other men’s. Then to have
1974 seen much and to have nothing is to have rich eyes
1975 and poor hands.
JAQUES 1976 Yes, I have gained my experience.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1977 And your experience makes
1978 30 you sad. I had rather have a fool to make me merry
1979 than experience to make me sad—and to travel for
1980 it too.
1981 Good day and happiness, dear Rosalind.
JAQUES 1982 Nay then, God be wi’ you, an you talk in blank
1983 35 verse.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1984 Farewell, Monsieur Traveller.
1985 Look you lisp and wear strange suits, disable all
1986 the benefits of your own country, be out of love with
1987 your nativity, and almost chide God for making you
1988 40 that countenance you are, or I will scarce think you
1989 have swam in a gondola.
1990 Why, how now, Orlando, where have you been all
1991 this while? You a lover? An you serve me such
1992 another trick, never come in my sight more.
ORLANDO 1993 45My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of
1994 my promise.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 1995 Break an hour’s promise in
1996 love? He that will divide a minute into a thousand
1997 parts and break but a part of the thousand part of a
1998 50 minute in the affairs of love, it may be said of him
1999 that Cupid hath clapped him o’ th’ shoulder, but I’ll
2000 warrant him heart-whole.
ORLANDO 2001 Pardon me, dear Rosalind.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2002 Nay, an you be so tardy,
2004 a snail.
ORLANDO 2005 Of a snail?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2006 Ay, of a snail, for though he
2007 comes slowly, he carries his house on his head—a
2008 60 better jointure, I think, than you make a woman.
2009 Besides, he brings his destiny with him.
ORLANDO 2010 What’s that?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2011 Why, horns, which such as
2012 you are fain to be beholding to your wives for. But
2013 65 he comes armed in his fortune and prevents the
2014 slander of his wife.
ORLANDO 2015 Virtue is no hornmaker, and my Rosalind is
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2017 And I am your Rosalind.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝ 2018 70It pleases him to call you so, but he
2019 hath a Rosalind of a better leer than you.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede, to Orlando⌝ 2020 Come, woo me,
2021 woo me, for now I am in a holiday humor, and like
2022 enough to consent. What would you say to me now
2023 75 an I were your very, very Rosalind?
ORLANDO 2024 I would kiss before I spoke.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2025 Nay, you were better speak
2026 first, and when you were gravelled for lack of
2027 matter, you might take occasion to kiss. Very good
2028 80 orators, when they are out, they will spit; and for
2029 lovers lacking—God warn us—matter, the cleanliest
2030 shift is to kiss.
ORLANDO 2031 How if the kiss be denied?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2032 Then she puts you to entreaty,
2033 85 and there begins new matter.
ORLANDO 2034 Who could be out, being before his beloved
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2036 Marry, that should you if I
2037 were your mistress, or I should think my honesty
2038 90 ranker than my wit.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2040 Not out of your apparel, and
2041 yet out of your suit. Am not I your Rosalind?
ORLANDO 2042 I take some joy to say you are because I
2043 95 would be talking of her.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2044 Well, in her person I say I
2045 will not have you.
ORLANDO 2046 Then, in mine own person I die.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2047 No, faith, die by attorney.
2048 100 The poor world is almost six thousand years old,
2049 and in all this time there was not any man died in
2050 his own person, videlicet, in a love cause. Troilus
2051 had his brains dashed out with a Grecian club, yet
2052 he did what he could to die before, and he is one of
2053 105 the patterns of love. Leander, he would have lived
2054 many a fair year though Hero had turned nun, if it
2055 had not been for a hot midsummer night, for, good
2056 youth, he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont
2057 and, being taken with the cramp, was
2058 110 drowned; and the foolish chroniclers of that age
2059 found it was Hero of Sestos. But these are all lies.
2060 Men have died from time to time and worms have
2061 eaten them, but not for love.
ORLANDO 2062 I would not have my right Rosalind of this
2063 115 mind, for I protest her frown might kill me.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2064 By this hand, it will not kill a
2065 fly. But come; now I will be your Rosalind in a more
2066 coming-on disposition, and ask me what you will, I
2067 will grant it.
ORLANDO 2068 120Then love me, Rosalind.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2069 Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and
2070 Saturdays and all.
ORLANDO 2071 And wilt thou have me?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2072 Ay, and twenty such.
ORLANDO 2073 125What sayest thou?
ORLANDO 2075 I hope so.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2076 Why then, can one desire
2077 too much of a good thing?—Come, sister, you shall
2078 130 be the priest and marry us.—Give me your hand,
2079 Orlando.—What do you say, sister?
ORLANDO, ⌜to Celia⌝ 2080 Pray thee marry us.
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝ 2081 I cannot say the words.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2082 You must begin “Will you,
2083 135 Orlando—”
CELIA, ⌜as Aliena⌝ 2084 Go to.—Will you, Orlando, have to
2085 wife this Rosalind?
ORLANDO 2086 I will.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2087 Ay, but when?
ORLANDO 2088 140Why now, as fast as she can marry us.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2089 Then you must say “I take
2090 thee, Rosalind, for wife.”
ORLANDO 2091 I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2092 I might ask you for your
2093 145 commission, but I do take thee, Orlando, for my
2094 husband. There’s a girl goes before the priest, and
2095 certainly a woman’s thought runs before her
ORLANDO 2097 So do all thoughts. They are winged.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2098 150Now tell me how long you
2099 would have her after you have possessed her?
ORLANDO 2100 Forever and a day.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2101 Say “a day” without the
2102 “ever.” No, no, Orlando, men are April when they
2103 155 woo, December when they wed. Maids are May
2104 when they are maids, but the sky changes when
2105 they are wives. I will be more jealous of thee than a
2106 Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen, more clamorous
2107 than a parrot against rain, more newfangled than
2108 160 an ape, more giddy in my desires than a monkey. I
2109 will weep for nothing, like Diana in the fountain,
2111 merry. I will laugh like a hyena, and that when thou
2112 art inclined to sleep.
ORLANDO 2113 165But will my Rosalind do so?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2114 By my life, she will do as I
ORLANDO 2116 O, but she is wise.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2117 Or else she could not have
2118 170 the wit to do this. The wiser, the waywarder. Make
2119 the doors upon a woman’s wit, and it will out at the
2120 casement. Shut that, and ’twill out at the keyhole.
2121 Stop that, ’twill fly with the smoke out at the
ORLANDO 2123 175A man that had a wife with such a wit, he
2124 might say “Wit, whither wilt?”
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2125 Nay, you might keep that
2126 check for it till you met your wife’s wit going to
2127 your neighbor’s bed.
ORLANDO 2128 180And what wit could wit have to excuse that?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2129 Marry, to say she came to
2130 seek you there. You shall never take her without her
2131 answer unless you take her without her tongue. O,
2132 that woman that cannot make her fault her husband’s
2133 185 occasion, let her never nurse her child
2134 herself, for she will breed it like a fool.
ORLANDO 2135 For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2137 Alas, dear love, I cannot lack
2138 190 thee two hours.
ORLANDO 2139 I must attend the Duke at dinner. By two
2140 o’clock I will be with thee again.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2141 Ay, go your ways, go your
2142 ways. I knew what you would prove. My friends told
2143 195 me as much, and I thought no less. That flattering
2144 tongue of yours won me. ’Tis but one cast away, and
2145 so, come, death. Two o’clock is your hour?
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2147 By my troth, and in good
2148 200 earnest, and so God mend me, and by all pretty
2149 oaths that are not dangerous, if you break one jot of
2150 your promise or come one minute behind your
2151 hour, I will think you the most pathetical break-promise,
2152 and the most hollow lover, and the most
2153 205 unworthy of her you call Rosalind that may be
2154 chosen out of the gross band of the unfaithful.
2155 Therefore beware my censure, and keep your
ORLANDO 2157 With no less religion than if thou wert indeed
2158 210 my Rosalind. So, adieu.
ROSALIND, ⌜as Ganymede⌝ 2159 Well, time is the old justice
2160 that examines all such offenders, and let time try.
CELIA 2162 You have simply misused our sex in your love-prate.
2163 215 We must have your doublet and hose plucked
2164 over your head and show the world what the bird
2165 hath done to her own nest.
ROSALIND 2166 O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou
2167 didst know how many fathom deep I am in love. But
2168 220 it cannot be sounded; my affection hath an
2169 unknown bottom, like the Bay of Portugal.
CELIA 2170 Or rather bottomless, that as fast as you pour
2171 affection in, ⌜it⌝ runs out.
ROSALIND 2172 No, that same wicked bastard of Venus, that
2173 225 was begot of thought, conceived of spleen, and born
2174 of madness, that blind rascally boy that abuses
2175 everyone’s eyes because his own are out, let him be
2176 judge how deep I am in love. I’ll tell thee, Aliena, I
2177 cannot be out of the sight of Orlando. I’ll go find a
2178 230 shadow and sigh till he come.
CELIA 2179 And I’ll sleep.